A Beat Of The Wings

Antenna and feelers picking up scent

Descends upon flowers, the honey well-spent

Hops bed-to-bed, escapes vent-to-vent

A meander on breezes

with hovering intent

Its vacuum absorbing all that is bright

Consumption for colour, all red, black, and white

Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight

Fearsome to predator

Evasive in flight

Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net

Energy burnt like a quick cigarette

Blood-letting, conflict, deep-red in debt

A gamble of moments

On a destiny bet

Life is short and existence small

Life is a butterfly perched on a wall

Fly away Peter, fly away Paul

A beat of the wings

Then it's death to us all

Reviews

[Sara]

okay, this is going into my favorites, like, right now. :) it's very beautiful... there is just a delicate sensitivity about it that immediately speaks to me... that last stanza leaves me speechless ('fly away peter, fly away paul' = is there such a thing as religious romanticism because that line is fantastic)... today i overheard someone say 'the universe doesn't give a s**t about us' -- i think you're saying the same thing here, just in a more gentle, intricately woven way... wonderful rumination on the frailty and transience of life. total love.

(ehh, just reread what i wrote, and sorry if i sound off, i'm very tired... to bed nao. bye.)

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

At first I thought that the butterfly represented life in general, but after reading it again. The line "Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight" kept gnawing at my head. Now, personally I think that the butterfly represents the life of a loved one, a mate, a brother, a sister, etc..whom in our eyes is flawless. Personally I think that this poem is telling us that life is short, we should enjoy the butterflies while they last, and our own life as well.

A perfect score! and please correct me if I'm wrong!

[sayandeep kundu]

awesome piece of poetry...besides several plots of sublime imagery, once again i found this piece culminating in something utterly philosophical and that gets the reader intrigued....leaves a long impact on reader's mind...when i finished reading this one, i felt kind of an impulsive compulsion to go through it again.. it's just so marvelous... awesome.. :)

[MissWordSmith]

Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burnt like a quick cigarette
Blood-letting, conflict, deep-red in debt
A gamble of moments

have to say, that was particularly brilliant. btw, the casual feel to the end was nice too... sort of like.. hey there, you're alive, i'm alive, we'll soon all be dead, so there's not much use worrying about it.

[MissWordSmith]

WOW, this was so imaginative and just simply beautiful. unlike your other stuff I think this one had a simpler rhyme scheme, but it really worked well with the poem.
really really, truly did enjoy this one.

[Abdul Aziz]

Brilliant. Very imaginative. And the rhyme scheme is impeccable. You've described the metaphor very creatively.
"Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burnt like a quick cigarette"
Easily the most sonorous lines in the poem. Infact, the most sonorous lines I've read anywhere for quite some time now.

"A beat of the wings
Then it's death to us all".
You've just put what it is like to be alive, in a nutshell.

Another great poem!

[Tanya7]

" stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burned like a quick cigarette."
these lines are brilliant, this is one of the best writes i read in a while. its smooth has great rhyme and not one of those poems which make your head spin.

[Benten]

Dreamy and sad. The imagery is really splendid. The third stanza is my favorite. Very raw. My favorite poem of the day. :)

[The Norveyan]

Now I'm not much of a poetry guy, but I can say this is a real good one. Real awesome description, this paints a pretty nice picture in my mind. I like it, keep up the great work.

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

this was a gorgeous piece. really soft and subtle but full of great imagery and detail. great use of rhymes. you managed to choose just the right words to help your poem be its absolute best. great read. keep it up!

[mope]

This has the polished cadence that usually only nursery rhymes have.