Twelve Shoes

A slow walk with pallbearers...off to a funeral today

Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.

RIP Ray Board
A true gentleman

Author's Note

Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

Reviews

[Seeker]

"...grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why" . Death, ever the mysterious stranger for the living, and ever naive on dying. So true!

[Gee]

Thank you for visiting

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Your Author's note answered my only question. Very well painted picture of the cerimony of grief.

[Gee]

Cheers....

[emipoemi]

Very solemn indeed. And very eerie narrative of a funeral procession, at that. Well done!

[Gee]

Thank you...

[Bear]

Critique: (that echoed cold) coldly - The adjective "cold" is modifying "echoed" instead of a noun or pronoun.

Review: Interesting topic, it is not often I get to read something about pallbearers and I love reading something so creative and originally imaginative Standing Ovation! I give it five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Gee]

Cheers Bear, change made...

[MCS]

Well done, felt these words deeply

[Gee]

Cheers, appreciate the review

[Lou]

Really moving poem beautifully written , love the twelve shoes analogy.

[Gee]

Cheers Lou, glad you enjoyed the read.

[Great Aunt Astri]

No, i don't think you should change the 2nd Stanza. It is 'dark' but then so is death! And it has a solemn but satisfactory end. and , yes indeed, 'why' ... perhaps the music in the oaken beams is all we need to know! Enjoyed your poem

[Gee]

Thank you Aunty

[emily.c.]

beautiful. I almost cried remembering the last funeral I went to. You captured the air perfectly and the certain sense of sadness and helplessness, with dignity and respect. I liked this a lot.

[Gee]

Thank you..

[Krutika]

This writeup has a grace, free flow and a certain melancholy to it that is conveyed through each stanza beatifically :)
Thanks for sharing!

[Gee]

Thank you for reviewing

[Writing Angel]

Oh wow this is touching .. I love it great work

[Gee]

Thank you...

[Writing Angel]

Thank you writing it