Chapter Two

Seeing my kids more

James has been in town for Two months now. He is seeing Emma and William everyday with me at my place, taking and picking them up from school with me. It feels so nice and I feel complete. Emma and William are loving it they keep asking me to stay at their fathers for a weekend. I'm so scared to give him them. I cant help but worry that he might take them away or disappear again and break their hearts. But I think this weekend I will give him the children and pray they will be okay. 

It was Seven thirty A.M. And Emma and William were up and getting ready for school, I made breakfast for me the twins and James. Just as I was dishing them James came in and the Children came running down the stairs.

"Sit!" I said sternly. They always get so hyped up when James gets here.

"Listen to your mother!" James said. I stop putting pancakes on the plates and stood their shocked.

"What?" I asked. Still in shock. I'm so sure I heard him say that.

"I just said listen to your mother?" James looked at me and he instantly knew that no one had help me raise them. Emma and William sat down and looked at me.

"What?" I asked all three of them looking at me. I burst out laughing, Emma and Will looked at me and started to laugh. James gave me a smile, A smile that made me smile more. After breakfast we all got into my car and drove to the school.

"See you after school William!" James said

"See you soon darling." I said to William.

"See you after to school too Emma." James said.

"See you tonight sweetheart." I said to Emma. Once we saw them go into the gate I started to drive. Today was my first day off in months and I also had the weekend off.

"James?" I said my voice sounded as weak as I was feeling.

"Yes?" James said his eyes showing concern.

"Do... Do you want the children for the weekend?" I asked

"Yes I would love that. Only if you're okay with that?" He said with a smile.

"Yes that's Okay. I have four days of. Today and the weekend." I said to James. I know he is trying to get into my good books and he is, The sad part is I love having him so close but he's not close enough.

"Are you sure? I can have them next weekend, So you can spend time them as you work most of the time!" James said. He was looking at me like he was trying to convince me to have them on my own.

"I'm sure. I would love them for the weekend but I think they would like to spend time with you." I said as I park the car next to Jessie house.

"Okay? What If I have them tonight." James said. That might not be a bad idea.

"So you'll have them tonight and I'll have them this weekend?" I said I was in shock.

"Yes Tonight I'll have them at my place and I'll tell them for the weekend they wont see me?" James said. That got me worried. What was he doing? Where was he going? Would he come back? all these question and no answers.

"Okay. Why dont you see them for a couple of hours at the weekend?" I said trying to get what I wanted to say across.

"Because I'm going out of town till sunday night. I need to get furniture for the house. Would you help me go shopping and show me what they like?" James said I know he thinks I'm thinking that he is leaving again but right now I dont.

"Okay!" I said. We went into Jessies house.

"James? The old owner to the house has dropped the keys in." Jessie said from the kitchen.

"Okay Mama!" James said. He sounded happy and excited.

I can't believe Jane asked me to have the kids for the weekend, I am happy about that. I just cant have them sleeping in sleeping bags all weekend. How about they come along to get things for the house? now that's not a bad idea. I have to ask Jane... Some how?

"Jane?"

"Yes?" She said happily.

"What if..... We all went out of town? Help me get stuff for the house? The children can pick stuff for their bedrooms and the house too." I asked getting more excited then I should.

"Okay. That would be lovely expressly for the children." She said back happily with a smile. I just need to show her how much I still love her.

After we picked up the children from school we told them the idea and they loved it.

"Will, Emma!" I shouted from the door.

"Yes Papa." They both said together.

"Now be good for your Mama and I'll see you in the morning." I said

"Okay Papa." They both said 

"I love you both."

"I love you too Papa." Emma said In her own sweet way.

"I love you to Pa." Will said half way up the stairs.

"Jane?"

"Yes?"

"Would it be wrong if I said I love you?" I asked

"No? Would it be wrong if I said I love you too?" She answered back. I came close to her. I pulled her to me and looked into those amazing blue eyes. I put my hand on her face and pulled her in. I kissed her like I have never kissed her before. I looked at her and saw that she was shocked. I didn't know what to do so I walked out and went to Mama's place.

I didn't want James to go. I just couldn't move after that kiss. My that Kiss was amazing. After a few minutes I felt everything getting back to normal. I ran up the stairs. Will was reading a car book and Emma was playing with her ballerina barbie doll.

"Guys. Do you want to see your papa this weekend?"

"Yes. But we ARE seeing Papa for the weekend." Will said.

"I know! I mean see him here for the whole weekend." I said wondering if I put that right.

"You mean papa stays here? In our house? for the whole weekend?" Said Emma. She had such a beautiful smile.

"Yes thats what I mean!" I said smiling at both of them through their doors. Emma came running out screaming in laughter. Will wasnt sure I meant it.

"You mean it Mama?" Said Will with a smile creeping up on his face.

"Yes honey I do. Should we go to grandma's and tell him?" I asked them.

"Yesss....." They both screamed and laugh. Oh how my heart burst with joy.

I stood waiting for Mama to come in from the back yard. As mama put her cigaretteout she looked though the screen door and looked at me.

"What did you do?" Mama asked. She knew me too well.

"I kissed Jane!" I said looking at her.

"You did what!" She said in more of a tone that would scare a child if they had their hand in the cookie jar.

"I kissed Jane!" I said back more conversely.

"How did she take it?" Usually she will slap anyone who comes that close." She said. No.. I felt Like I lost it all.

"Actually she was shocked and didn't do anything! What do I do Mama?" I asked now I was worrying I would get the chance to be a family.

"Oh... No I don't know son, It could go either way." Was all Mama would say.

I was in the kitchen drinking coffee when I heard someone knocking on the door. I got up and walked to the front door I thought Mama had locked herself out again. I open the door with a smile.

"Seriously Ma did you have too........" I stopped short "Jane?Will?Emma?" I said. I blinked my eyes a few times but no they were here at my door.

"Papa. Mama has something to ask you!" Said Emma. Wow okay. This is how its going to end. Right here on my mama's step with my kids here too.

"Why don't you go and find grandma, While me and your Papa talk out here." Jane said to the kids. My heart dropped this was it, She was going to say don't see me and don't see the kids no more. I couldn't live with that they are my family.

The kids walked into the kitchen and I walked outside and closed the door. Jan sat on the swing set and I sat next to her.

"James me and the kids have been thinking." She said looking at me.

"Thinking about what?" That came out way more shallow then I wanted even for me.

"Instead of going out of town." She paused.

"Yes?" I asked

"How about you stay at mine for the weekend. The children think its a wonderful idea...... And so do I." Jane said looking away, but I could still see a smile. I was so happy but shocked she hadn't said what I thought she was going to say.

"Yes of course. I would love that." I said. She looked at me and she hugged me.

"For the last few months.... You have shown me that you want the children, Tonight, I don't know weather its desire for you or not. but I still love you James."

"No its not desire for me. I still Love you and I've wanted to show you that for the last few months. Jane Its half one why dont you stay here tonight with the children." I said. I had told her the truth.

"Okay." Said Jane, I'll sort out the sleeping arrangement for me and Jane, The children have their own beds, Mama put them to bed just as we walked in.

"Do you want the sofa bed and I'll have the other sofa." I asked. Jane had a smile on her face. As we walked into the front room Jane closed the door and Kissed me.

I woke up next to James the next morning. I was so happy and on cloud nine. James woke up and smiled at me, he kissed my cheek. He put his hand around my waist and pulled me close to him. It was eight in the morning. Where were the children? I looked at James and he looked at me. We both got up and put our clothes on. We  walked into the kitchen and saw Jessie smiling and Will and Emma had tears stains down their faces. Me and James walked over to them.

"Mama is it true that you don't want daddy to see us anymore!" Emma said

"No darling. That's not true where did you get that idea from?" I said to her.

"Grandma said because you and Papa where outside." Will said. They both started to cry. Will and Emma came over and gave me a hug. I looked at James. James signed outside now to Jessie.

"Why in gods names did you tell them that?" I asked my mother once we were outside.

"Because It wont last. I want the Kids to hate Jane because of what she done to you!" She said

"And what did she do to me?"

"Not telling you that she was pregnant with them."

"I told her not to talk to me again."

"So she still could have told you."

"No I wouldn't have talked to her!" I was so mad. Good thing the children didnt have school today. I walked back into the kitchen and saw the Children still hugging Jane. Now it was up to me to show all three of them.

"Do you want to move your stuff to the house and stay with us till we get stuff for your new house?" Jane asked.

"Would you mind? What about you two? Do you want me to live with you for a while?" I asked them. Emma had such an amazed look on her face.

"Yes Papa we would." Will said.

"Then its sorted." Jane said with a smile on her face.

"Come on thats get my stuff in the truck and go home." I said. Jane let Emma and Will go and they rushed upstairs. Jane came to me and I held out my hand wondering if she would take it. Jane took my hand and we walked to the stairs.

"Come on Mama!" Emma shouted so we both went up stairs and got boxes. After ten minutes we had everything in the truck and we got going. Now I get to see my kids so much more