It's Those Eyes

For Ariel

I’ve been waiting for something to remind me of you

So I can tell you about it
A dream

Something to describe to you
So that I have something to talk to you about
Because in all honesty, I’m afraid to confess to you
What I’ve become
When you knew me, I was good
Kind
Innocent
I’ve lost a lot faith in people
Lost a lot of altruism
I still care about the individual
People I might run into by chance
Or fate
And I'm kind to strangers
But not the world as a whole
I still want to make the world better
But just because I’m tired of all the people
Being careless
Acting stupid
Playing miserable
Making mistakes
Even though I can be just like that
So I guess

I know where to start

I want to tell you all about you
How I still write about you sometimes
How you affected me as a kid
How those feelings contributed to my attributions to this day
How you were the only person I was infatuated with
That much
And how I wish it didn’t have to end the way it did
Slow
Very slow
Very wrong
My oldest poems are laced with desire
     To want you
     To be your strength
     To change your life
And, eventually
When the situation changed,
When I lost hope
     To forget you

I’m glad I didn’t though
I realize now that I just wanted to forget how much I adored you
And then I did
But my poems didn’t
It’s those eyes

I’m afraid of what you might think of me now
I’m a smoker
A social drinker
I can be impatient
I can be hurtful
I can be careless
I cuss (But that’s nothing new)
  I’m funnier though
I still believe in God
But I’m not Christian like you liked
I’m still thoughtful
Selfless at times
I’m human

The boy you knew is with the past
But the man you might have seen in me is surfacing more everyday
I don’t let things get to me like I used to
I don’t hold on to novelties as much
I don’t take my ambitions lightly
And I sure as hell, will never hurt anyone on purpose

I can be immature sometimes
But I’m working on that

I hope you haven’t forgotten about me
But if it’s a bad memory

Then I hope you have
Because I want to start new
Maybe make a first impression
Better than the first time
And maybe this time, I can be your friend
And stay that way
Be how I was when you knew me
And not how I was when you moved on
I only wanted to be a part of your life
No matter the status
Because no matter the status
You’re apart of mine

Reviews

[Sharkapillar]

I empathize :/ I like this very much, there is much emotion behind it, and it flows very nicely. The reader can almost feel your experiances, your pain, and it's very moving. The words are exquisite, it all is. Excellent job. :) ♥
~Blessed Be~

[Alicante lullaby]

simple and so wow..its a boy confessing to his calflove...high school like and cute...

[Doreen]

It's heartfelt and honest. I can relate to this poem well. A very nice write.

[JENY]

How sincere your words are….
Those who read this will ….
Start liking you…..
Nice reading…..
Really..

[Elvina CZq]

Wow, I think I should say you are hopelessly romantic. haha

[Fires Cool Touch]

Wow, this is excellent!

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

i really like this, excellent