Angels and Robins

Angels and Robins

A Poem by GunMetal
"

It's sort of a poem about a song about a person. She's off somewhere being amazing.

"
Before you walked off into the ocean to play catch with the backrush,
before the months of long comfortable radio silence and stagnant static IPs,
before the summer of Hummingbird and goodbye lessons,
I penned a half written song dedicated to prescience.
The melody was made to look forward.
The lyrics were sung in slow dance.

It goes like this. [Major lift]

I’ve been preparing for a dream I always fall asleep to.
Where distance is closed and gravity is optional.
Where we can stand brazen beneath an ocean
that won’t even whisper to spoil a memory.
You can show me all of its secrets
and I promise not to tell anyone
because it’s hard to talk underwater.

[Suspend]

I can just move with you.
When the current becomes now
and you passively change all of the grey areas into lightshows.

You are riptide motion under serenades
laying shatter proof and full of breath.
I make stationary look like a rest between notes
before a cadence that just never seems to happen.

[Cadence]

I can’t help it if my hands shake.
I can’t prove that I don’t get scared.
My flaws are buoyant.
I am not immune to the uprush.
I just thought that maybe
if I could spark a light from my spine tower,
with my foghorns bellowing this slow dance,
you might come back from the waves,
for just a moment
and show me how not to get swept away.
And I will try.
I have to.
I want to prepare for a dream,
I always wake up to.

I hope the stars light up enough
to read the North between my knuckles
telling me I haven’t hit home yet.
Not even close.

[Ritenuto]

But I’m getting there.
My nostalgia still has a crush on you.
I still haven’t properly learned goodbye.

So until then,
you can find me keeping the coast clear,
slow strum style,
with a half written song dedicated to prescience.

Go.
The horizon is shimmering
and you are brilliant.
I’ll be here.

[Fade]

© 2012 GunMetal


Author's Note

GunMetal
I wrote a song with the same title five years ago for a girl named Sea. Some years ago she moved to Wales to study Maritime Archaeology. I know she reads my poetry sometimes, so I was nervous about posting this because I'm that kind of dude. Consider this a message in a bottle; Consider this driftwood.

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Kim
This is beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have this written about them. I really love the way you string words unexpectedly together to make these unique and gorgeous phrases. I love the interjections in the song (you obviously really know music!) -- my only question/suggestion concerns the first interjection (Major Lift). It seems inconsistent to have it on the line instead of by itself like the others. You could play around with it and see what you like better (where it is or separated like the others). My only other criticism is that it's a bit unclear what the title means in terms of the "robins" part. I could have just missed something or maybe it only means something to you (which is totally fine - this is poetry after all), but if you want that part of the title to be clear, you might want to add/edit something in the poem to facilitate that. Really, though, it's a beautiful piece of work and I really love it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GunMetal

8 Years Ago

Thank you =) I appreciate this a lot.
The first interjection is actually a nod to Leonard Cohe.. read more
Kim

8 Years Ago

I had a feeling that it was a nod to Hallelujah - it made me think of it right away. My only questi.. read more



Reviews

what shall i say? like i'm only a beginner and that's too good.. great i'm speechless :(

Posted 8 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Kim
This is beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have this written about them. I really love the way you string words unexpectedly together to make these unique and gorgeous phrases. I love the interjections in the song (you obviously really know music!) -- my only question/suggestion concerns the first interjection (Major Lift). It seems inconsistent to have it on the line instead of by itself like the others. You could play around with it and see what you like better (where it is or separated like the others). My only other criticism is that it's a bit unclear what the title means in terms of the "robins" part. I could have just missed something or maybe it only means something to you (which is totally fine - this is poetry after all), but if you want that part of the title to be clear, you might want to add/edit something in the poem to facilitate that. Really, though, it's a beautiful piece of work and I really love it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

GunMetal

8 Years Ago

Thank you =) I appreciate this a lot.
The first interjection is actually a nod to Leonard Cohe.. read more
Kim

8 Years Ago

I had a feeling that it was a nod to Hallelujah - it made me think of it right away. My only questi.. read more
Sea , Wales, Naked truths shared with a unknown heard of horses ,or a shiver of sharks, the collective mixing of souls lifting a world of pain,thank you for being.... thank you for brilliance to light my hearts depth.

Posted 8 Years Ago


wow very tasteful full of brilliant work full form in all Pisces of the words

Posted 8 Years Ago


I love this :) what a tribute!

Posted 9 Years Ago


very romantic

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is really beautiful work. Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


"I make stationary look like a rest between notes"
that line is so f*****g cool it makes the next line which would be amazing in and of itself look lame in contrast, lol
(I realize they work so well synergistic ally, that's probly why the irony intrigues me)

I loathe how amazing you you are, lmao, not out of any kind of jealousy, but to amuse you and myself for saying so..I don't actually loathe you, obviously. I feel like a gay school girl who's just smoked her first cigarette

amazing how this site just grabs my brain like a baby velociraptor would grab and flail a jejunum (duodenum),

it never ceases to amaze me

I'm a royal bloodline cast into the shadows where the sands create melodies..I was born to mispronounce that..I'm interested to hear what you think of my story..not because I'm fishing for compliments, but because when you get a chance..no rush





Posted 9 Years Ago


This is a masterpiece of romance, lose and yet hope. I love the half written song, would be great lyrics. Thanks for sharing. I love the you can show me all of its secrets.........

Posted 9 Years Ago


I am in love with this piece and I hope Sea does see it for it is majestical, personal, emotively haunting and wonderfully descritpive, speaks volumes!!!
Superb love, glad to have read xoxo

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on June 28, 2012
Last Updated on June 28, 2012

Author

GunMetal
GunMetal

Wish You Were Here, Alta Loma, CA



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