Russian Roulette

the painfully intoxicating gamble that is love.

Damned if I do,
Damned if I don't. 
My heart aches with love,
But could easily break
After confessing feelings previously unspoken of.
Do I bite my tongue day after day?
Or foolishly play a risky hand
At the expense of scaring you away?
To have your heart is my desired win,
But I laugh and shake my head
While I murder the notion within.
Pieces of you I've never had
Are the most devastating loss of all.
You see, the problem is
I don't know which way to fall.
Shall I reveal mad love for you
And ignore the possibility of your disappearing act
Being absolute hell to live through?
It's all or nothing for me,
I refuse to be some kind of in-between.
Eventually I'll wise up and ditch that mentality
Because my brand of wishful thinking
Can only gift me with the cruel b***h-slap of reality.
"I love you" could ignite a wildfire
Along the path we lightly tread.
Or maybe the fear in your heart
Will turn your feet cold in time for you to escape,
Quitting me while you're still ahead.
Silence would've been a safer bet,
Bite marks on my tongue hurt significantly less.
I played the hand I should've chosen to fold
And now, I've broken us, leaving myself quite the mess.
To one another, we're nothing but dead,
A done deal the moment you chose to get lost.
Your departure left an icy chill
And that same frigid air writes the epitaph, 
Inevitably marking out grave.
The one you embedded in the frost.

Reviews

[Pumpkin Girl]

I love this! great word choice keep up the good work!

Your Friend,
PumpkinGirl

[Haley]

thank you

[Lyrically Inclined]

Nice write! I love the analogy of a relationship is like Russian Roulette. Perfect! As well as the flow.

[Haley]

thank you, dear!

[Oldsoul.J]

I loved reading it. Everything is just here in this poem; your words spoke so much about the reality of love. how it is to gamble and to make a choice. Great poem :)

[Haley]

thank you, love