A Single Saxophone

Drinking to forget

Plays blue, a single saxophone,
plays heartache and despair,
to hang heavy in the gauloises fog
above the broken gathered there.
Who sit alone with half drained glass
at tables laid for two,
just memories in the chair across,
of a love that they once knew.
Cold comfort sought, cold comfort found
in stupors arms, alone,
serenaded by suicidal thoughts
and a single saxophone.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I love Jazz. Saxaphone and some drink. Nice flow of words took reader to somber places and memories. Jazz support to take us to lonely places and thoughts. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.

Coyote

[Gee]

Thanks Coyote, not at all hard to figure you would like the atmosphere, ambience created in a place like this.
Thank you

[Coyote Poetry]

Of course I would and you are welcome my friend.

[alanwgraham]

This is a lovely and accomplished poem, Gee, brimming with atmosphere. You've caught the ambience the music, the bar and the clients beautifully.
There are a few things you could polish up that I could suggest.
You've made a spelling slip with the title - saxophone. To help the flow the third line might be better as 'hangs heavy in the gauloise fog'. Then 'of a love that they once knew ' makes knew correct grammatically.
Hope this helps but as a sax player i must say I really connect with this.
Regards.
Alan

[Gee]

Cheers Alan. Can’t believe I’ve never noticed the misspelt title, what a knob !!!
Took your advice and changed a wee bit.
Thank you for taking the time to both read and comment

[Chris Shaw]

Very atmospheric. I really picked up on the visuals, sound and fog. Also the loneliness came through. All that in a short poem. You did well Gee.

Chris

[Gee]

Good morning Christine, thank you.
Break out the factor 30 and enjoy the weather. Hope you are well

[Chris Shaw]

It''s going to be a sizzler

[Photochick]

This is a very stirring read. I have written something similar about sitting alone drinking with live music.

This is a well written piece

[Gee]

Belated thanks

[J. B.]

Just a few grammatical errors here and there, but this is a great poem with a classic rhyming scheme. keep up the good work!

[Gee]

Cheers Jeremiah

[Norah]

It is sort but it speaks loudly. Great job Gee!

[Gee]

Cheers.....

[kitty]

Agreed that the 'Saxaphone' has that melancholy feel. A certain sadness comes to mind. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt piece. The sax - one of my fav. musical instrument!

[Gee]

Mine too. Thank you

[Nigel Newman]

Oh my. Oh my. Such a well painted vignette, Gee. Hats off. Just as a side comment, I think all these folk on WC who come up with banal rhymes should read this. I think you're missing an apostrophe in stupors, though I could argue the case for it coming before (most likely) or perhaps after (collective stupors).

Sublime!

Nigel

[Gee]

Cheers Nigel, glad you enjoyed

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a sad piece. Lonely chair filled with only memories.

Think we have all had a similar experience at one point.

[Gee]

I think you may well be right.
Thank you Beauty

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome.

[Tony Jordan]

Exquisite scene setting - the cafe scene in Paris and the lost souls within hanging on the saxophone's every note. Yes, this is class.

I think the quatrain that starts with 'Who..." might be better served starting with 'They'. The preceeding full stop kinda dictates that I feel. Otherwise the quatrain in question should have a question mark because it started with 'Who...'.

You and me Gee, I think are experimenting with layout and pauses for effect. It's not easy to achieve. Some make it look easy (it flummoxes me everytime).

Hope this helps. ;)

[Gee]

Change made, cheers mate.