Disturbing the peace

Tonight I have taken all that I was and strangled him, olive to pale lily white. I have choked him with these, my hands, these refined things as he lay a dreaming in bed. Then chuckling I dragged him out of the fale, I harvested his foolish brain, that were full of pretty love tales. I emptied it like cold coffee flung from a cup I poured each love thing on a pristine beach. Strewn into the golden grains his tourist dreams of love. Oh what folly. He is dead youth and he shall not rise on the sabbath or any other. Peeled away like a snakeskin there he lies and he shall not disturb the peace anymore.

Author's Note

Fale - (Papuan) Island house

Reviews

[Paul Bell]

Poetry Police rushing to you as we speak.
Got a feeling, strong words may be spoken.
Never disturb man when football is on.

[Island Hippy]

Haha, yes...how many times did I hear my papa say that growing up :) he was a west ham man. Mahalo.

[Paul Bell]

Wonder if he would approve of the new stadium.

[Ana Papaya]

I really like this. I've revenge killed a few men in poetry. Feels good. 'His tourist dreams of love' nice phrasing there...

[Island Hippy]

Less mess. Mahalo Nui Ana.

[BBP]

This piece was rad! I loved how you slayed the old you and took full control of it.

Nice write.

[Island Hippy]

Thank you, what a rad comment. I haven't heard that word in a while :)

[BBP]

lol yeah I've heard that before when I leave comments but it's catchy lol

[Lorry]

Well in your last piece I reviewed I mentioned losing control and in this piece, it was taken back, and more :)
I really like your use of language in your writing, I got stuck on the line "I harvested his foolish brain", thinking it was probably the best line I've ever heard, and no, I'm not jealous, much :)
It is said in such a casual manner that it couldn't have been more unsettling if Hannibal Lecter himself had said it. :)
Really well done, you fit so much in such a short piece. Superb.

[Island Hippy]

Haha, you are very kind. I appreciate you reading all two of my works :) thank you Nemonomore.

[Lorry]

I'll be keeping an eye out for more.

[KWP]

ha - and then he was dead!

what a great piece - out of nowhere I just witnesses (almost) a murder - makes me want to know more about both the narrator and the dead fellow :D nie one chick X

[Island Hippy]

Haha, it's a little fantasy island justice (jk) thank you very much KWP I appreciate your time :)

[mercy party]

very unique and strong description. i really got into this as i felt that the person was taking an epic and much needed stand. nice!

[Island Hippy]

Thank you that's such a great comment and I'm quite relieved I got another review to be fair. Thank you again. Izzy

[Stan Lee]

Woo, that's pretty emotional stuff! I liked the similes, especially the snake skin on the floor. :)

[Island Hippy]

Thank you very much I appreciate your comment.