The Welcoming Door

Another Sonnet

The voices call out from inside the walls;

Beckoning me to visit their abode.

I hear all the painful and mournful calls,

It is my curiosity they goad.

 

I know that the Asylum is unsafe,

So weathered and worn from years of neglect.

Horrific screaming like that from a wraith,

This abandoned building must now be checked.

 

My heart racing I stride up to the door;

I’m expecting to have to break the lock.

And then fear takes over my every pore,

That moment of my life put me into shock.

 

Finding myself frightened and all alone,

As I watched the door open on its own.

 

09/21/2011

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You give a sense of shock and awe here... I will have to say that taking out the "my" in the two line will not hinder this, but add to the write:

And then fear takes over my every pore,
That moment of my life put me into shock.

Finding myself frightened and all alone,
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
And then fear takes over every pore,
That moment of life put me into shock.

Finding myself frightened and all alone,

Of course, this again is just my view... the "my" disrupt the flow and less is better here...

[Raven Starhawk]

You surely know how to execute words with that mighty muse of yours. Yours lines pour from a deepness that only time can reach. Love the last few lines most of all though because they remind me of myself.

[K.C. Zbryk]

I like how this series is progressing, and how you describe the events taking place. this all has quite an eerie quality about it, and i have to admit the ending of this poem was rather chilling. Very well written and im sure the next installment will be even more impressive than this one.