When My Soul Departs

When my soul departs, I do not want to be a well preserved corpse.

 

Let my face be full of lines for all the times drinking wine and sharing laughter.

 

Let my hands be riddled with arthritis, it means I've written more than checks and grocery lists.

 

Let my knees protest with each bend because of the time being close to the earth, creating beauty with flowers.

 

Let my legs be weak from dancing under the stars to music only I can hear.

 

Let my eyesight be fleeting from all the brilliant sunsets I've witnessed.

 

Let my feet be tanned like leather from walking barefoot on the shore with my children and theirs.

 

Let my ears no longer hear, let them be deaf from the sounds of the earth.

 

Let my body be used by life, because maybe, just maybe I used everything life had to give.

Reviews

[Mark Pearce]

An eloquent way of saying "To the max!"

I believe it shoud be "deafened" in the next to last line. And since this piece is about you, and not about a relationship with the reader, I wonder whether the word "we've" is necessary in line two. (It's my habit to comb out unncessary words after I finish a piece.)

[Greg Skura]

This is really good! I believe we should embrace our death the same way we embraced our life! Beautiful!! Thank You for sharing!

[Danielle Asher]

This is excellent! Stunning really.

[PhoeniX]

that was exquisite. i enjoyed reading this.

[Jet Lag]

lady, this was awesome and even softened my heart which is so thick today! thank you for reminding me to use up what i have and not worry about being on the "running out of it" end of life. i have had a wonderful life and done and seen so many things, met so many interesting people.

these are my favorite lines:
Let my face be full of lines for all the times drinking wine and sharing laughter.
Let my hands be riddled with arthritis, it means I've written more than checks and grocery lists.
Let my knees protest with each bend because of the time being close to the earth, creating beauty with flowers.

awesome and worth every point of my 100 rating, as well as my vote in the contest!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Really good message in this poem ... thank you
Chloe
xoxo

I like it. And it has brought story, positive stories and medals of honor the way each scar is worn as a medal and a story of the fight between good and evil.

The message is written well, and the form is good. A good read.

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is such a fantastic message and reads as if it is very personal. Life is for living, something I am always trying to remember. NH

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

What beautiful sentiments - sounds like a life lived to the fullest. Wonderful lines and thoughts in this succinct piece. I especially am fond of the one about let your feet be tanned by walking on the shores with your children and their's. Lovely thoughts. May it come true for us all.
Light,
Siddartha

[Steven Williams]

This is a good example of anaphora. I also thought this was very insightful. When you go, you don't want to leave with any regrets. You want to do all you can from dancing under the stars, to laughing over wine, to walking the beach with with your children and grandchildren. I really liked this one.

~Stephen

[laadelina]

Oh wow I really love this. It's so beautifully written and just made my smile at every line. Very nice. =)