Chapter Four

Kensi and Kyle have a fight. Kensi's past comes back to haunt her, and Kyle gets a glimpse at what happened to her.

For a good 2 weeks, everything was ok. Kyle was actually really interesting. He came by my house nearly every day after school when I didn’t have work, and we would read a couple of books and then head out to the Cafe for dinner. I even let him drive me a few times.Turns out, we had the same taste in music. He was surprised when he found out that I actually enjoyed country.

“Maybe you are a cowgirl” he said and winked at me. And when I found out he liked indie rock I called him a city boy. 

We eventually decided on “The Book Thief” by Marcus Zusak. One night, after our daily Mac and Cheese and Panini ritual, we decided to walk around town for a little bit. We passed a book store and thought it would be a great idea to go in. Sitting on one of the display shelves was “The Book Thief.” After reading the first two pages, we each bought a copy of the book and agreed to read a chapter a night. And that was when the phone calls started.

At first, he called to ask about how far I had gotten, but eventually, it turned into bedtime stories. We switched off each night, reading the chapters out loud over the phone. We ended up staying late, talking about the book and our own stories. Soon enough, I was willing to call him a friend. My first real friend. 

Friendship was nothing like how I thought it would be. Before, friendship consisted of getting drunk together and sloppy kisses in backseats, but now, it was about talking and feeling understood. I learned so much about him. Like how he was part Italian and part French, and how his favourite food was raviolis and he hated the colour green. I almost enjoyed the feeling of belonging and having friend, and I almost  believed that he was in it solely for the friendship. 

One day, Cafe was closed early so we decided to hit up the local pizza joint. I knew that was were the majority of our school hung out, but I didn’t mind. Everyone knew we were friends, and every one saw us walking around school and no one made a big deal out of it. When we got there we sat in a corner booth and he waved to the rest of the baseball team sitting in another booth. I ordered a slice and while I was waiting for the food to get ready, I went to the bathroom. I was in such a good mood I even said hi to a couple of the girls who were washing their hands at the sink. 

“Hey! Kensi right?” This really pretty brunette with big blue eyes asked me. 

“Yeah, hi!” I smiled at her, a rare muscle being used for me. 

“Im Anastasia! You’re in my Fashion design class I think! What do you think about that project Mrs. LeGrecko is having us do?”
I was? Most of the people in my fashion design class were popular and rich kids, all wearing designer jeans and heels, thinking they knew everything about fashion. Anastasia seemed different though, genuine. 

“I think it’s pretty cool that she’s having us design our own  fashion show. I don’t really know what I’m doing yet, but it sounds pretty exciting. What about you?” I leaned against the counter and watched her fix her hair.

“I think I’m going to do something a little avant garde. Something a little different, you know? I want it to stand out and pop” She made a small popping sound with her lips and smiled at me mischievously. 

I laughed, she was adorable and her energy was infectious.

“It already sounds awesome. I guess I’ll see you in class then!” I dried my hands and turned towards the door.

“Hey Kensi, I know you’re usually really quiet and keep a lot to yourself, but it was really nice to get to know you. I hope we can be really good friends.” 

I smiled back at her and waved. I hope so to.

When I got back to the table, a bunch of Kyle’s friends were sitting in our booth. None of them saw me since the bathroom was behind them, but I could hear everything they’re saying. 

“Hey man, so how long are you going to keep this up?”
“I dunno. why?” I could hear Kyle munching on a fry as he responded.

“She’s pretty hot. If you can’t seal the deal, then I wanna take a shot at it.” 

“Dude. Chill, it’s not like that.”
“Oh yeah, how many times have you guys gone on a date or eaten out?”
“almost every night, but -” another teammate cut Kyle off before he could finish.

“What you don’t think she's hot?” I stayed behind the pillar that was hiding me from the table.

“Yea okay, she’s got a great body -” He was cut off again.

“So get on it. Pop the Cherry”

That was it, I heard enough. I should have known all guys were the same. All they wanted was sex and they would do anything to get it. Date rape drugs or trying to manipulate your feelings by pretending to be a friend, it hurt my nevertheless. I was an idiot for thinking that he was different, and that maybe for once, my body and my old lifestyle wasn’t the only thing interesting about me. I stormed over to the table and if I wasn’t so pissed, I might’ve enjoyed the look of shock and guilt on their faces. Kyle's was a mix of panic, anger, shame, and surprise, it was kind of cute if you didn’t factor in everything he just admitted. 

“Kens, wait! It’s not what it sounds like!” I grabbed my purse and slammed the door behind me, not caring who saw my little tantrum. I just wanted to go home and wash the grimy feeling off, again. It wasn’t until I was in the middle of the parking lot that I realized Kyle drove us to dinner today, and that the Pizza Joint was way too far for me to walk home. Within a few minutes, Kyle came rushing out, holding a plastic container and running to my side. 

“Just let me explain Kensi.”
“There’s nothing you can say or do to fix what I just heard.”

“Kensi I swear none of what they said is true.” He grabbed on to my arm. I flinched and tried to shake his hand off. He immediately let go, noticing my discomfort. “Look, I’m sorry you had to hear that, and I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but at least let me drive you home. It’s not safe to walk that far this late at night.” 

“I’m not so sure I’m safe with you either. Who knows, you might try to Pop my cherry *insert other sex phrases*” But I got into his car anyway. He was right, it wasn’t safe for me to walk 3 miles home at 9:30 at night. And anyways, he hasn’t tried anything on me yet, and I’ll keep my phone on speed dial to KC just incase. 

But I couldn’t stop thinking of everything I overheard in the Joint. It just made me madder and madder. He felt like I owed him sex just because we ate out together a couple of times? Just because we text and call each other and because he’s my only friend? The only person who I’ve let in somewhat? Well I’ll show him. I was so mad, I worked myself into such a state of mind I could barely think clearly. He pulled up in front of  my house and parked the car. He turned to me and just looked at me for a really long time. I didn’t move, I didn’t get out of the car, all I could think about was how everyone had an agenda. 

“Kens? Say something.” he didn’t touch me, or try to move closer, he just quietly tried to break the silence. I turned to look at him.

“What?! Do you think I owe you sex because you were nice to me? Is that what this whole friendship thing was? You befriend me and keep me from being the poor lonely girl at school and in return, you get full access to my body?!?” I yelled at him. I couldn’t even control it, I was so sick of the lying and the secret motives. I pulled off my shirt, and started unbuttoning my jeans. “Well, here, why don’t you just take it then. Take it while I’m offering it! You don’t need to use force and take it from me. I’m offering you sex! Why aren’t you taking it??” I almost ripped my bra off before he stopped me.

“Kensi! Stop. That’s not what I want from you. I don’t want sex or anything. All I wanted was to get to know you. I’m sorry my friends are such perverted jerks. You don’t have to do this or give me anything.” I glared at him. I pulled my shirt back on, and and tightened my jeans. 

“Yeah right, say that now but soon enough, you’ll be trying to force me into sleeping with you. Don’t think I don’t know this trick.” I stepped out of the car and slammed his door shut. He rolled down the window. 

“Wait Kensi, what are you talking about? Did someone force you to sleep with them? Kensi! Stop!” I ignored him. 

I just kept walking forward, one step in front of the other, and I’ll be inside, in the safety of my own room.  I felt his hands wrap around my wrist and I flung his hands away form me. 

“Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me. Just leave me alone. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
I didn’t have the strength to walk away and pretend that I wasn’t affected by tonight, so I ran into my house and into my bathroom, where I began to throw up and mentally relive the night that changed my life.