Chapter 3

Lunch was a wash; I got pulled into a last minute phone meeting with a client and didn’t get a chance to grab food from the first floor café. I managed to finish just in time to see Erica walk back into the office with her bag of dry cleaning.

“You’re a life saver!” I said, standing up to give her a hug as she approached our cubicles.

“I know,” she answered, smiling enthusiastically “you have options, feel free to mix and match” and with that she handed me her dry cleaning.

I grabbed my bag and made my way to the bathroom, I could use the half hour I had left before my meeting to change and review the client case file.

Hanging up the dry cleaning bag on a stall door, I zipped it open to find a pair of black pants, a grey curve pencil skirt, and three blouses - all in varying states of sheer. Great, I can choose between Erica’s many options of work s**t-chic. The pants were too short, my legs being freakishly long despite my average height; that left the skirt. It was out of my comfort zone, but I had to admit I didn’t look too bad, it hugged me in a way that gave the illusion of curves that my slender figure didn’t have. That left the top �" I went with the least offensive option, a red button down that I did up all the way to my neck, tucking the bottom half into the skirt.

I fixed my hair with the help of a few bobby pins, changing my messy bun into a more practical chignon, and tada - I was no longer a homeless hippie sticking out like a sore thumb in a top-tier marketing firm.

That’ll show Mr. Caleb Warren…  I stopped myself mid-thought. I had absolutely nothing to prove to the man. So he’d seen me in a state of dishevel �" that doesn’t make you weak Kat, take control of the meeting and show him and his team just how professional you can be. Take back control. Right, I would just kick-a*s in the boardroom and all would be well. I reached for my bag to pull out the client file.

It was all I could do to keep from screaming �" the file I had forgotten at home that morning, along with the tablet that had my presentation graphics on it, was the Barlo file.

“F**k” I said under my breath. Think fast, you don’t have time to make it home, even if you had enough courage right now to get you there and back on your own. I reached for my phone and called my perpetual saviour; Elena picked up on the third ring.

“Hey sis! How’s work going?” Elena said, in her usual sunshine-happy voice.

“Not great, I completely spaced this morning and forgot my tablet and an important client file at home �" what are the chances you can get them to me in the next…” I looked down at my watch “ten minutes?”

“Just breathe Kat! You’re in luck, class let out early; I’m already at home. I’ll hop in a taxi and get them to you in 5” She answered.

“Thank god, you’re a life saver Lena. Bring them upstairs once you get here!”

“See you soon!” she said, hanging up the phone.

I wont have time to review the presentation, I thought to myself. I could feel my breathing start to speed up. Looking in the mirror all I could see was how pale my features were getting, the blood seeping right out of my face. Calm down Kat, just breathe, in and out �" you reviewed it all weekend long, you wrote the thing for gods sake, of course you remember what its about!

It wasn’t part of my routine. This whole damn day hadn’t been part of my routine. The key to keeping my life together, and flowing relatively smoothly, was routine �" it was the repetition of tasks, knowing exactly what came next that kept me going. As soon as things went off schedule, as soon as things became unexpected, I spiralled. I knew this, its exactly why I kept everything planned, closely monitored, and on freaking schedule!

I could feel the dizziness taking hold, my heart fiercely pumping blood to all my limbs, preparing for either fight or flight �" the adrenaline flowing. I could feel my throat closing and the panic taking hold. BREATHE KATERINA, CONTROL YOUR DAMN BREATHING! I mentally yelled at myself.

If I didn’t calm myself down now, then the panic would surpass that threshold, that point of no return, and I wouldn’t be able to calm myself for hours �" I didn’t have hours. I sat down in the nearest stall and put my head between my knees, concentrating on slowing my breathing down.

My phone ringing startled me.

“Hello?” I said breathlessly.

“Hey Kat, I’m here and you’re not at your cubicle, where are you?” Elena said.

“Bathroom” I responded. Seconds later my sister burst through the bathroom door.

“Kat?! Where are you?”

I swung my stall door open.

“Oh god, Kat are you okay?” Elena said, crouching down in front of me. “Look at me, concentrate on me. I should have never left you to get to work on your own this morning” Elena said.

Taking my hands, she pulled me into a straight sitting position so that I was facing here rather than the bathroom floor. After a bit more coaxing and deep breaths I was able to speak,

“I think I’m okay”. I gave her a weak smile, wiping away the tears that were now streaming down my face, “and its not your fault Elena, you have a life, you can’t hold my hand for the rest of mine.”

“I’m your sister Kat, yes I can”

“It actually wasn’t that bad, the ride into work I mean �" by the time I got here I was okay. It was just everything else that happened.” I gave her the short version of the story, leaving out the parts about Mr. Freshly Pressed Suit.

“Did you even have breakfast this morning? Or lunch for that matter? You’re as pale as a ghost Kat, you know you can’t miss meals, regardless of how anxious you are.” She said, concern written all over her face.

“I know, I’ve just been all over the place, its probably why I felt so faint while panicking�" lack of food…oh and hyperventilation obviously. You don’t have a chocolate bar by any chance do you?”

“Pff, always” she responded, reaching into her purse and pulling out some milk chocolate. Not the healthiest option, but my system felt wracked and exhausted from the adrenalin, I needed some sugar, and I needed to pull myself together.

It had felt like hours since the panic had started, but a look at my watch told me it had been less than 10 minutes. I took another deep breath.

“I have to get to my meeting Lena, I can’t be late I’ve already messed up too much today” I said, getting up, taking another steely breathe and fixing my skirt.

“You haven’t messed up Kat. Remember, the turmoil in your head is only going on in there, no one on the outside can see or feel it,” she said, consoling me as she unbuttoned the top few buttons of my blouse. “Besides, dressed like that �" no one will notice if you’re late. Here switch shoes with me” she smiled at me coyly, taking off her black pumps and switching them for the flats I had on my feet.

“Thanks Elena” I said, putting her shoes on. A look in the mirror confirmed she was right, despite the tear stains that I was now dabbing away, I didn’t look too dishevelled �" the image in my mind was much more tumultuous than the reality I saw before me in the mirror. With the top few buttons of my blouse undone, and the pumps now on my feet, I looked even better than I did on any given work day. I kissed her cheek and started to head for the bathroom door.

“Kat wait!” she said exasperated.

I turned around “huh?”

“Your tablet smarty” she reached into her purse and pulled out my tablet and the client file.

“Oh, right” I answered sheepishly “thanks, again. I’ll see you at home, after work?”

“You bet” she answered with a smile.

Only Elena could watch me go through the beginning throws of panic, help bring me back from the edge of mayhem, and then smile like nothing had happened.

It was time to pull it together, concentrate on the meeting �" focus on the client and your winning marketing strategy, leave yourself at the door. I could do this; I had run these meetings a million times before. Besides, the best way to deal with my anxiety was always to focus on something completely and entirely removed from it. I wiped under my eyes, pinched my cheeks to add a little colour to what I knew was now a pale face, put on my best winning smile, and walked through the door and into my client meeting.

“Ms. Evancho, this is Finn Miller, and you’ve already met Caleb Warren.” Mr. Breaker said, gesturing to each man in turn 

“Gentlemen, this is Katerina Evancho, she will be heading the creative marketing strategy on your account.” Mr. Breaker made the introductions all while giving my new attire a one-over as he did. I shook both men’s hands, remembering to keep my grip firm. One thing my father taught me �" it’s a man’s world when it comes to business, in order to play in it, a woman must be strong and confident.

“A pleasure gentlemen. Shall we get to business?”

Another deep breathe. I've got this - I thought to myself.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism please :)

Reviews

[shade]

ok i still like the story, now iam just saying but it would make a great ending (lets just say her sister dies but not until she learns to control that fear) i think it would make a good sad ending, not many stories out there with sad endings u know. now this is just me, i want to see where you take it
and just wondering not that it matters, but what kind of tablet did she have any way?

[Janna]

I honestly never considered what tablet she had haha, Samsung?

[shade]

hummm sounds good i guess, but i was just thinking the kind of tablet might go a long way to tell us more about her, to me she seems to stay away from people so i could guess instead of buying nice cloths for party she buy a nice tablet :)