Awake

Awake

A Poem by JayG
"

Because a very special lady isn't with me...but should be.

"

Awake



I woke, enveloped within the comfort only your warmth can bring
My head was nestled into the curve of your shoulder, my hand on velvet skin, stroking.

But you weren’t there.

Memory brought the scent of woman: gentle, and softly sated with pleasure
So warm with sleep, so twined with hints of passions past:
An ambiance of morning…a residue of night…a reason for joy and tears

But you weren’t there.

I woke with you gathered tightly around my being, comforting and exciting, both at once.
I woke to memories and to desire, and to comfort, as my lips--of themselves--"sought yours.

And then, you were there. But only for a moment:
In warmth
In passion
In comfort
In life
In all that matters.

But then, sadly, reality brought a sigh, and a turning inward

And on waking, I wept.

Because you weren’t there.


© 2018 JayG


Author's Note

JayG
I fixed the M-dash problem and the swapped last two lines on 10/3/18.

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Reviews

thanks for sharing your poetry. there is someone out there for everyone. I hope you find your perfect soulmate.

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I like the poem, but I can't help but wonder if you could give yourself the advice you generally prescribe to. "This poem is narrated by someone we don't know that misses another person we don't know. The reader doesn't have much of an inclination to be emotionally attached to the persons involved." Again, I'm not sure I even agree with the advice, but seeing as you've mentioned things along this line quite a bit, I wanted to know your thoughts on it.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Somewhat short but complex on a very personal level. A poem many can relate to in a sad way. I think you've done a pretty good job capturing the various emotions involved with this "Idea".

All in all, a pretty nice poem you've written. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Being that all the poems I've read by you are structured, I was somewhat surprised to read this, but nevertheless, I find it impressive.
There's a soft tenderness woven through your words with a melancholic tug of longing. I love how your ideas drift back and fourth from dreams to reality and lead to the poignant sigh of "And on waking, I wept." Simple, but an overall effective line.

Regarding the dashes, you can use a horitzontal bar instead, as pasted here in parenthesis (―). It's a bit bulkier than a dash, but if you put it in Times font and italicize it, you'll hardly notice the difference.

- William Liston

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

a touching write,sadly me miss them after they have left,or in some cases,after we left...

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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58 Reviews
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Added on August 27, 2017
Last Updated on October 4, 2018

Author

JayG
JayG

Elkins Park, PA



About
I've been actively writing fiction for about 40 years and have been offered, and signed, 7 publishing contracts. I have a total of 30 novels available at booksellers at the moment. I've taught wri.. more..

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