The King of Nothing--Prologue

Here goes the prologue from book one!

 

 

 

PROLOGUE

 

 

 

 

 

"I didn’t know what to think as I at first saw no one, then a bloody mass on the ground. I rushed further into the gardens, down the stone pathway, over the rock-lined edge, and onto the grass. Trampled the sweet flowers and tore my skirt in the thorny bushes. “There, lying in front of me. A young woman in a red and fancy garb, like-dyed hair. Pale skin gray in the moonlight. Blood everywhere.

     “Shivers ran cold down my spine as I shook from my trance and dropped to my knees. Tears stung my eyes before they spilled forth. Reality hit me. I should stop crying. I should run.

     “Someone wanted the princess dead.

     “I jumped before I even really heard the shuffling noise. The whispers. I stood and turned. Saw two figures, standing at the outskirts of the gardens. It was dark but I knew what they wanted.

     “One of them was tall. I recognized him. He turned and left before he saw me. The only thing I noticed from the other, as he turned over and met my eyes, was a dark rose painted on his face. Predator’s eyes. He was small--like a child. But he held the bloody dagger.

     “Run! my mind screamed.

     “My knees buckled. My muscles froze. Fear seized me.

     “The small assassin headed my way. Picking up speed.

     “I screamed for help but no words formed. He sped closer.

      “‘Help!’ I finally cried. Despite the cruelty I was somehow sure I would survive the misfortune. I was, after all, Adelaide, the princess’s maid. ‘Help me!’

     “There was clamor suddenly. Voices. Drawing nearer.

     “The short assassin didn’t hesitate as he turned and ran away from me.

     “I sank to my knees and mourned the death of my friend. And perhaps mine too. I didn’t have much time left.

     “Yet here  I stand, telling the tale, what, fifteen years later?”

 

                cd               

 

 

Johan grunted as the tall man slammed him against the wall of a house. Two other men stood by his attacker’s side.

     “Leave me alone,” Johan demanded. He grabbed the hands of the one keeping him pinned and tried to wrench his grasp from his shoulders.

     “And what would be the purpose of  that?” growled the warrior in front of him. There was something wild, almost crazy in his eyes, making Johan want to shiver. But he could not appear to be the coward in front of these men.

     Johan glanced around himself. How did all this happen? One moment he went outside to collect more wood to feed the fire warming his house, and the next, two men stood in front of him, another grabbing him from behind. They had dragged him further down the alley, away from his house, which was nearly the only one inhabited in Moonlight Alley. Johan glanced down at the weapons in the men’s hands. The two standing behind the one keeping hold of Johan each held daggers that glinted in the little light that shone into the alley. The other one had a large, black and double-bladed axe strapped across his back.

     “And don’t you dare scream for help,” snarled the armed man, as if he could read Johan’s mind. “Not likely anyone will hear you in this abandoned alley, but just to warn you, things would not end well for either of you.”

     “So what do you want?” Johan said, clenching his teeth. “Are you the Thorns?”

     He looked from masked man to masked man.

     “Do you want to kill me?” Johan shouted. “Huh? Cause I’m not afraid of you killers. So do it!” His heart pounded. He thought of his wife, his two children. When would they notice that he was not outside, collecting firewood? He closed his eyes, hoping that these men would kill him soon, so that his loved ones would not come looking for him at the wrong time and get hurt . . . or worse.

     “I’m afraid that ‘tis not quite that simple,” replied the Thorn that held him captive. “You see, we did not come without reason. And we do not kill without reason. So, unless you give us one . . .”

     “What do you want?” Johan wondered, feeling himself tremble. “I’m not rich.”

     “You do know the story of the princess and the assassin, do you not?” The man leaned in closer.

     “W-what?”

     “Tell me! What do you know of this kingdom’s history? The Thorns? The king ruling the castle of Three Feather today? Explain in detail.”

     Johan’s mind raced as he jumbled everything he could think of into words. “The princess was murdered--by the Thorns--a month before she would have been crowned queen. She-she was to be wed to King Terrowin, king of a neighboring kingdom.” In detail! “She, uh, needed a break from dancing and sought rest in the secluded gardens. Her maiden was to await her there.”

     “Yes?”

     “They--he people closest to the gardens--heard a scream. From her maiden, Adelaide. When they reached the royal gardens, they found the princess dead, covered in blood.”

     “And why did people think that it was the Thorns that killed the princess?”

     Johan noticed the man’s breathing grow harder, his beige mask darkening from damp and his grasp tightening. By the sound of his strained voice, he must have been gritting his teeth, and his eyes were narrowed.

     “Because not long after the Thorns showed their faces in Lythania, the murderer of the princess was caught making another attempt of killing the ruler of the kingdom, King Terrowin. The assassin bore their tattoo, marking him as one of theirs.”

     “Ever wonder how they identified this person to be the same as the assassin that killed the princess?”

     “Rumors spread before The Slaughter.”

     “Tell me, what happened during The Slaughter? Give me your most described version.”

     “The people were revolting. King Terrowin had been crowned king over Three Feather after the princess was assassinated, but had just lost his own kingdom to King Alcuin the Great. The people of Three Feather were angry because King Terrowin demanded too much taxes. They wanted protection, as the assassin was not yet captured and causing much more wreckage. The Thorns attacked at that moment of chaos, slaughtering thousands of civilians. Many fled, but also many innocent people died. King Terrowin fought the Thorns, chased them away. He captured and killed the one responsible for the princess’s murder, and thus gained the trust of the surviving people.” ­

     The man said nothing. Just glared into Johan’s eyes.

     Johan continued. “The Thorns were reduced to a group of thieving bandits and murderers, that still roam the kingdom of Lythania today. They continue to battle the honorable knights that protect the people and our king, The faithful Swords of Lyth.”

     “Johan,” said the man. His leather armor creaked as he leaned back, letting go of Johan’s shoulders. “By the way you are telling me this, I presume you were just a lad when it all happened.”

    “I was. I hardly knew what was going on at all. Only that many people were angry, but were satisfied once the king brought in the one accused for assassinating the princess. And that many of the people died. Everything else is just what I heard coming from stories.”

     “Tell me, who have you lost that was dear to you in The Slaughter?” He made eye contact.

     Johan swallowed. “Why is any of this so important?”

     “Who have you lost, Johan?” His voice intensified, and Johan was afraid he might lunge at him and punch him with one of his clenched fists.

     “My father and my mother,” Johan said, nearly panting. “The Thorns slew them on that day.”

     “Hmm. And you are sure they have been killed?”

     “I haven’t seen them since, so, yeah. I kinda think they were killed.”

     “Yeah? ‘Cause I wouldn’t be so sure. What are their names?”

     Johan shook his head. “Hubert and--”

     “Martha?”

     “What do you know about them?” Johan asked, breathing harder and harder.

     “You have a family, Johan?” He looked to his left.

     “Johan?” The voice of his wife, coming from across the alley. “Where are you, dear?”

     Johan closed his eyes and gnashed his teeth. Please don’t come, darling!

     “You do want to protect them, right?” said the man, once his men returned, telling him that Johan’s wife had gone.

     “What are you doing? What do you want?” His frustration began to grow. He could feel his rage climbing to its peak--and his fear.

     “You want to protect them, am I correct? And you want to see your family again.”

     “Yes!” Johan spat. “Of course, why do you ask?”

     “Then, Johan,” said the man, taking off his mask. A long tattoo snaked its way from the side of his neck, up to his cheek. Thorns choking a rose. Johan braced himself. “You will have to listen to me very carefully as I reveal the purpose of my little visit.”

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

So i have rewritten this trilogy, time and again. I have finally completed the first book of the series--well, changes will always be made--and this was the prologue. I have posted this once before, but due to what a reviewer has told me--for which i am very grateful--i have completely changed the prologue. So please, i really appreciate advice, as i wish to someday publish my books. Critics on grammer, thoughts on characters, theories on plot. Any advice--i love it! Also let me know if you want to read more. Like i said, i have completed the entire first book, The King of Nothing, and could continue adding more chapters. So let me know!

Reviews

[Wathanya.5KY3]

Interesting prologue. It feels a little info-dumpy, but it does tease the reader for more. Medieval stuff is not something I often read, so I can't offer insight into that; I mainly point out little spots that people miss in others' writings, so bear with me.

1. “‘Help!’ I finally cried. Despite the cruelty I was somehow sure I would survive the misfortune. I was, after all, Adelaide, the princess’s maid. ‘Help me!’

- There's an extra space before this paragraph
- And maybe having a comma after "cruelty" is more grammatically correct

2. “Yet here I stand, telling the tale, what, fifteen years later?”

- There are two spaces between "here" and "I." Don't ask me why I noticed such a thing xP

3. “And don’t you dare scream for help,” snarled the armed man, as if he could read Johan’s mind. “Not likely anyone will hear you in this abandoned alley, but just to warn you, things would not end well for either of you.”

“Because not long after the Thorns showed their faces in Lythania, the murderer of the princess was caught making another attempt of killing the ruler of the kingdom, King Terrowin. The assassin bore their tattoo, marking him as one of theirs.”

Johan continued. “The Thorns were reduced to a group of thieving bandits and murderers, that still roam the kingdom of Lythania today. They continue to battle the honorable knights that protect the people and our king, The faithful Swords of Lyth.”

“Who have you lost, Johan?” His voice intensified, and Johan was afraid he might lunge at him and punch him with one of his clenched fists.

- There aren't any extra spaces before these paragraphs, but for some reason the spacing is different from other paragraphs. Again, it's better if you don't know why I noticed these little things. Haha

4. “They--he people closest to the gardens--heard a scream. From her maiden, Adelaide. When they reached the royal gardens, they found the princess dead, covered in blood.”

- I think you meant "They--the people..."

5. “I was. I hardly knew what was going on at all. Only that many people were angry, but were satisfied once the king brought in the one accused for assassinating the princess. And that many of the people died. Everything else is just what I heard coming from stories.”

- "...the one accused for..." should be "...the one accused of..."

Lastly, it's more of this short-sighted person's personal preference , but the letters are kind of small. The font is totally fine and fitting to the theme though.

[Joy]

Thank you for reading this! Even though it's not usually your type. Info-dumpy? Yeah, ok, I get that. I have tried this prologue so many times in so many different ways, but in the end, it's this information I want the reader to know. in the end I decided to have someone tell about it, both parts, johan in the second one.

I don't know how I didn't see that first space in front of the paragraph but I really did not see the one between 'here' and 'i'. But thanks for pointing that out, I always hate to find those extra spacings in my writing, so I appreciate that. Thanks!

[Wathanya.5KY3]

Take the info-dumpy part with a grain of salt and two grains of pepper. This is coming from a person with really short attention span who doesn't often read anything not contemporary.

Having someone say it in a conversation is better than having the narrator say it in my opinion, so I think you're on the right track there.

May I suggest a tip for spaces?
For spaces in front of paragraphs, use indents instead of the tap button.
For spaces between words, use the Ctrl+F function and press space bar twice.

[Joy]

Thanks for the tips! Probably would take a bit to get used to though