Ruptured

Ruptured

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



The day it shattered
I knew it mattered
More than I had let myself believe

The life went on
But I just mourned
The jolting loss of the obscure dream

Shimmering light
I see, twinkling bright
In the creeping darkness and space

Cuckoo had called
The birds all gone
Leaving me in the oblivion forever

The shattered pieces
Tease me with creases
In the memories of life I once knew

Grief and shame
Sleep in open grave
To keep an eye on the chameleon sky

Goodnight to you
Dreams that come true
Are smashed by wishes reared in malice


-©jyoti_ablaze

© 2016 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
When the pen bleeds...

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Reviews

The poem bleed sadness and disappointment.
"The shattered pieces
Tease me with creases
In the memories of life I once knew "
The above lines are true. We can shatter like glass when heart is broken. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote



Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the kind words. :)
Coyote Poetry

4 Years Ago

Always my pleasure and you are welcome.
Very nice and passion fire filled.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words! :)
T.S. Sky

4 Years Ago

You're welcome
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A bleeding pen is the best kind the pen of a poets heart! Thought provoking. Starz x

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words!
Hey when the pen bleeds, ya just gotta go with the flow What a pleasure it has been to bend my mental muscle around your well chosen words.....N

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Neville, thank you again. You are very kind. :)
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Your pen is certainly bleeding in this piece, but with a lovely eloquence that is not usually used to write about the subject of death.

The poem has not an ounce of morbidity, yet deals with the shattered remnants of a life scarred by death.

Very nice work.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you Doodley for your kind review. Hope you are having a good day.
Glad you visited! :D
very deep ,thoughtful peom
agree when pen bleeds

your frnd
siddhi


Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much, Siddhi! Glad you visited!
siddhi

4 Years Ago

welcome it is my pleasure

review: nice pattern! never read in this matrix before. very good & absorbing. along with proper choice of words, i like, how creatively you even keep the balance of wordy-qualities in it. captivating work here!

rate: 99.9/100
ps. half % was actually consumed in "review" so don't mind 99.9 %. lol xoxo

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Adams, thank you very much for your kind words! Made me really happy. :)
"Goodnight to you
Dreams that come true
Are smashed by wishes reared in malice"
I have just one word to say about this composition: "wow!!"
Loved the flow☺


Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

YumnaKay, thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated!
Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

You are welcome! The pleasure was mine ☺
Deep and meaningful as always...

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you Ben. Glad you visited!
To me this poem portrays the pain and emotion when u lose an important person in your life. "Grief and shame/ Sleep in over grave" reflects death to me.
I really liked the rhyme pattern of the poem. Thankyou for this beautiful piece of work!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind commentary, Hanah! You are the first who deciphered that it's death, I am ta.. read more
Hanah Gotski

4 Years Ago

The poem is deep and can be interpreted in a number of ways. This fact shows the beauty of your poet.. read more
Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kindness, I am humbled. :)

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1581 Views
38 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 17, 2016
Last Updated on July 17, 2016

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



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My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

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A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



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