Chapter 1

 

Chapter 1

“At first? Did I believe it at first?” My eyes lowered to gaze at the small wooden table supporting my slender arms. “No, no I didn’t.” My hand came up to my aching head then slid down and created a roof over my deep ocean-blue eyes, shielding them from the light above. Why can’t this be just a regular, old fashioned room lit like a standard school classroom? This room makes me feel like I’m on an abandoned stage, the single spotlight beaming down on me. I can’t see two feet away from me. My jaws clenched as the thought drifted through my mind.

     I filled my lungs with the crisp air. “It wasn’t until I had asked that one question too far. That one question that followed all the others.” I was shaking my head as I spoke, thinking how the recent past would have never existed had I stopped myself before I went too far.

Both my bruised hands now sheltered my falling eyelids. A nauseating headache was working its way around my brain.  I realized the ineffectiveness of covering my eyes when I saw table was quite successful at reflecting the beam’s brilliance; my only escape would be to shut my eyes. I grimaced and ran a hand through my wild blonde hair.

     “It’s actually quite amusing how this all started. It all began with a hint of curiosity. ... A dash of boredom. ...” I let a soft chuckle echo through my throat as I fixed my gaze on one of the dark pockets of the room. “It was really all entirely by chance.” I sat forward in my chair, my hands clasped together on the table. “If I hadn’t done exactly what I had, I wouldn’t be in here talking to you, some guy cowering in a dark corner without even the courage or manners to come into the light. You have a nasty scar or something you don’t want me to see?” I tried to no avail to catch any face or figure, squinting my eyes under the light.

     I had had about enough of this silence. “Are you even there?” Sound was the only thing that seemed to be able to penetrate the black shadows encompassing my seat and the wooden table.

     A low grumble erupted from the mouth of the lurker, “Just start from the beginning, little miss.”

     My oval shaped face, dotted with freckles and framed by layers of dark golden locks, was showing very plainly the lines of fear and exhaustion. Shady moon crescents hung under each eye, sunken in from lack of sleep. My worn and tattered Converse on my feet wouldn’t stop shifting around on the concrete floor. A blue long-sleeved shirt and an old pair of jeans hung loose upon my limbs.

I was frightened to the point of overwhelming fatigue. But surprisingly, somewhere inside I had this strong confidence that suppressed most of my current apprehension and replaced it with a cool anger.

 I glanced down at my ragged clothes. Even after considering the state of my garments, the only accessory I would ever ask for would be, “Hey, before I ramble on some more, do you think you could maybe get me a hat? It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, just something to get this damn light off my eyes. I feel my migraine might be contagious and you might soon find yourself with one, so you think you could save yourself and me the discomfort and just get me one?”

If there had been any more light in the room to illuminate the form currently stationed behind me, I might have seen the eyebrows of the mystery man rise up at my absurd question.

“Yea,” I pointed up at the ceiling, “This light seems to be quite inconveniently placed so that whoever has drawn the short stick has to sit in this chair and fall victim to this zombie light.” I let my hand fall down to my lap and swiveled 180 degrees to face the south side of the room. “Either I get a hat, Sir I-can’t-speak-more-than-five-words, or you let me sit in one of those nice dark corners over there.” I pointed up at the ceiling bulb then to my head and then to the end of the room.

Trying to mask my nervous trepidation of what the instructions this killer had been given, I was trying to get a laugh out of this guy… It wasn’t working.

Silence floated around the room as slowly as a blimp crossing the sky. My eyes rolled. “Oh I have an idea,” I continued, “How about you and I trade places! I can be nice and comfortable while I tell you how I ended up in this ridiculous room with you, as instructed, and you can come sit in this nice chair here,” I gave it a pat. He can’t scare me with his silence, I thought to myself.

Then again, it was rather unnerving, talking into an empty space, not able to make out any movement. How was I to know if he was even there? What if he wanted to slit my throat from behind? Now, apparently, this man was either too busy cleaning his foot-long blade to hear me, or he didn’t like to talk much, for there was again the uneasy silence. I frowned.

“Hat or trade places? Take your pick, Sir Sunshine.” A heavy set of boots hit the floor. Powerful thuds began at a leisurely pace, clunking towards me. “So we are trading then? Great.” I began to rise from my chair but was forced back down by a powerful hand pushing down painfully on my left shoulder.

“Hey!” I protested. A curved metal object snuck around my wrist and was yanked towards the underside of the table. “What the....” By the time I looked down, my wrist had been handcuffed to one of the legs of the table.

“Oh come on! Now I can’t even get up to go to the bathroom?!” I moaned and set my head onto the cold surface of the table.

The low grumble of my mystery man once again filled the room but this time, warning augmented as each word left his tongue. “Now you listen close, little girl. There are precisely two conditions you will leave this room. One: alive, if you shut your uncontrollable yap that is, and say only what I want to hear. And what do I wanna hear? Exactly everything you’ve learned of our organization. The second condition: you’re dead, wrapped up in a plastic trash bag which is exactly where trash like you belongs, stone cold or still breathin’. Personally, I don’t give a damn what you do. Boss thinks you might be an asset to ‘im. My orders are to keep you on track. I can have you dead in a heartbeat or I can make it nice and slow. And, believe me little girl, it would be a pleasure to shut you up once and for good. So if you feel like saving your a*s today, I suggest you do what I say and stop complainin’.”

Tears sprinted down my cheeks and ripped themselves from my chin to plummet towards my jeans. I had always thought myself a calloused individual, always playing false emotions across my face. But ever since two days ago, my emotions had been erratic and as plain as the sun in the sky. My head grew hot and my eyelids grew heavy and puffed up. My lips trembled as tears swept over them.

For once, I was glad not to be facing this cold-blooded murderer. I began to sniffle.

My voice was still quivering when I began to speak, but after a couple of seconds, it had become a steady stream of words. “It wasn’t three weeks ago that I met Sara…”

Author's Note

Please comment, I'm new at writing.

Reviews

[Jacoby de Alton]

Paragraph One- Excellent opening. Too often do I pick stories to read that start off so slowly an bleakly that one cannot hope for much more from them.

Paragraph Five- Although its not truely needed, as it is quite easily infered, perhaps you should break the comment about the sound into another sentance and give the narrator as more direct use of her question. If that is somewhat confusing, i.e. "I shouted", "called" etc. Still, nothing wrong per say as is.

Paragrapgh Seven- "My worn and tattered Converse on my feet wouldn’t stop shifting around on the concrete floor." This seems a little broken. It would serve just as well to either leave out the feet or converse statements, it doesn't flow well to include both.

Paragraph Nine- "Cool anger" seems to have given to stupidity at this point. I have no way of knowing the importence of lack there of for this attitude in the character, but she seems frightened of whoever is waiting around beyond the light. And fear often enough makes one cut with the sarcasm.

Honestly, this is tiny nit-picky stuff, trivial. This is a wonderfully written story, and as I read on I fully expect it to be quite entertaining.

[r]

O_O You're new at writing!?!?!? Oh my god!! That was EPIC!!! How could you be new at writing?!!?!?

I am AMAZED, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing i love to read, i LOVE the imagery you used in it, especially with the part about the tears. AMAZING, AWESOME, just wow! I LOVE it!!!!

[Jessica]

i like it (: you describe everything in so much detail so even after the first paragraph i wanted to carry on reading (:

[shivam]

Once again, a very good description of the place, the emotions and of course, the characters. The suspense is thickly built and the reader wants to jump to chapter 2. I guess thats an achievement for any writer!

[J.M]

Wow intriguing - I love the mystery of the guy in the shadows and the imagery of her arms being like a house.

[Jennifer Negri]

I like it. It really draws you into the story and the scene. I'm curious about what is going to happen and I want to read more. You did well at description of the character and the scene as well, giving good feeling for what was happening in the room.

[Kiynteyh]

You describe the setting well, and even though the story doesn't sound like the kind I would read, the element of mystery is making me crave for more. On to the second chapter! :D

[Katie de Lavani]

Even if you don't like it, please let me know you read it by reviewing. :D

[Lamma_Love]

pretty good. for a time i thought she was being ignorant and very rude, but then he started threatening her, and i started to hate him.

[Minki]

I like what you're doing here. The description of the room gives a clear mental picture to whoever is reading it, and when she began to cry, I actually felt like I wanted to console her. The mystery will spur people who don't know what this is about (i.e. not me) to read on. Very good. There are still a couple small places where the sentences sound awkward; a good way to spot these is to listen to yourself or someone else reading it aloud.