Pond

a rude awakening

Pond.

I cry because you hurt me

Chapped I am

I don’t know

I want to hold

But promise not to touch

We both keep walking

I find you by the pond with the ducks

I greet you…

+-----Miki(e)angelo

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

"But promise not to touch" ... killer line says i! it brings a whole new dimension to the poem .. she's not so innocent of hurting is she?! ;) i love the closing ... there is a greeting ... in a safe neutral place .. the pond with ducks ... a beautiful image for me ... but lots of creative tension in the greeting .. we shall see eh!? really enjoy this story ... really like your writing
E.

[knighngale]

thank you so much Einstein, it's heartfelt. I get so much agony, when I love, so I scream and cry to sleep, because I can't love :F very formitable, cheers little one

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much .. and back at ya! i'm a fan :)

[William Michael Reeves]

Drowning in a lake of your tears. Water foul in the tension of words about to be said floating unrequited. Interesting thoughts you provoke.

I was hoping you might have something about your pseudonyms in your profile. I'll assume it's not a typo. Part of your mystery?

Billigami

[M. J. Smith]

And maybe in a sacred place you can both find peace. Closure too, perhaps. Sweet, sad, emotive.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

‘I find you by the pond with the ducks.’ There’s so much in this poem, a nostalgic kind of feeling almost, barely being able to recall old memories that may even be melancholy. It makes me wonder if there will ever be a continuation, it leaves off feeling as if there’s more, but it would also be a perfect ending. Thank you for sharing.

[knighngale]

thank you so much Vertigo Cat, Love what you had to say, there is no continuation, but if you may, maybe u jot ur view, in a poem or read, :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Maybe the speaker can just hold onto the thought of the one spoken to.

and there can be so much said in that greeting, maybe even just an expression.
j.

[knighngale]

I know honey, but I bite, lol j/k thank you dear Jacob