Flight of the Phoenix -part1

While traveling I disguised myself as a resident of the places I traveled. It had been hard for I had the marks of being a Bengali all over, so adopted a story of someone trying his luck at their provinces for job and a place to stay. It brought out results quite different. Those parts are safe and smooth like anywhere in the world if you have money and you are tourists, they respect tourists. But I wanted to know what a tourist won’t.   

Curious for more…

 

 

The flight of the phoenix

(the part-1, beginning)

A fusion of sounds roams to and fro,-

upon the pavilion of people,

this is the station,- the crispy voice

 of the announcer has just claimed that the

train is late by an hour. Swarming

frustrations buzz around a waiting room.

Heat. Sweat. A slowly leaning head of

an alien girl upon a shoulder

she thinks will support her forever.

 

Hallucination is like the rails

seem to meet at the end, over them

night is sitting, gossiping with sparrows.

An hour may decide a relationship.

© 2008 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar

Reviews

[Ankhesen Mié]

"...A slowly leaning head of
an alien girl upon a shoulder
she thinks will support her forever.

Hallucination is like the rails
seem to meet at the end, over them
night is sitting, gossiping with sparrows.
An hour may decide a relationship"

I don't what you need me for (:)). Your phrasing, as usual, is genius. Your imagery, as always, is haunting. Your musings are clever, and your observations insightful. Excellent work yet again.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

In your picture you appear to be very young, but your words are of an old soul. I remember a book I read as a youth, I can't remember the title, but I remember the story. It was about a Phoenix who befriends a your boy and then death comes to the Phoenix and the boy is crushed, until the young Phoenix rises from the ashes. Life renewed. As I read your poem, I wondered if you had read the same book.

[Helena]

Very well written. You have the start of a intriguing story here... making the reader
want more. The "alien girl" was a surprise touch....

On to part 2!!

Helena :)

[alternative_be]

This is so lovely and familiar! Apparently taking the train is a universal act: the rumblings at the station, the crispy voice of the announcer, the inevitable delays...
The travellers may look different than in other continents, but the images and sentiments you use are to be seen in any train...
And indeed, an hour may decide a relationship ...
As for the image of the rails, I find it very well chosen because I too relate them with hallucinations and darkness at times. I live in an area where psychiatric hospitals often are near to railway stations. Sadly enough there are many suicides in such areas. It is like putting the cat with the milk as we say here.
I am sorry I did not read your work before, but know I definitely want to read the next part!

[Emily B]

oh, my, one long slow breath. The instant is memorialized forever. Somewhere between imagination and reality--in your words.

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

oh i see how terrible, :( mishy

[JudyC]

Heat. Sweat. A slowly leaning head of
an alien girl upon a shoulder
she thinks will support her forever.

These are my favorite lines--they exemplify how your imagery not only describes the setting, but propels the story forward. Every word drew me in. Beautiful!

[....]

night is sitting, gossiping with sparrows.
An hour may decide a relationship.

These lines here sounds like
what us humans do to each other
this is a well written write
enjoyed reading this.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Beautifullly written. So full of description and imagery. I adore the ending line. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Light,
Siddartha

[PianoandPage]

intriguing. obviously a story developing here. i love the image of the alien girl draped over the shoulder.

neat little end with the tracks ending which is a really awesome metaphor for relationships as you and your partner are equal and parallel and yet in love perspective your tracks meet in destiny for eternity.

[Cardinal Robin]

I like where you are coming from and going with this. It is as though you and the "observer self" switch roles as you roam through experiences. Romantic and questioning, even skeptical, yet reflective. You bounce like a hot potato!