I am a Rock

I am a Rock--Paul Simon

It was the middle of December and it was snowing. Kagome and Sesshomaru had been 'mated' if that's what you even wanted to call it, for about seven months now. They'd done nothingbut argue and fuss and fight. 'To think I thought I could actually fall in love with that jerk.' They slept it two seperate beds and they barely spoke when they weren't in an argument. No one but them knew of the mating, and Rin of course, and they wanted to keep it that way for a while, at least until they fell in love...if they fel in love. Kagome sighed and looked out the window.

'A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island'

It was partially Kagome's fault that the love between them hadn't formed. She'd always rejected people who tried to and wanted to love her in the best ways possible. She just didn't want to get hurt again though. Not after what happened.... She had no friends except for Sango and she rarely laughed excpet with Rin.

'I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need for friendship
Friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock
I am an island'

Often times Ayumi had spoken to Kagome about finding a mate and settling down. 'Ha! If only she knew what I was going through now! She would want to take back all of those conversations about falling in love that I dreaded.' Plus, if she'd never loved in the first place, it might not be so hard for her to love now. The only ones she cared about were her ward, mother, and Sango. Kagome tried not to remember her past, but it came back every so often, only to be driven away by thoughts of the present. 'The past...' Kagome thought. 'When I thought all was well....when I was foolish enough to........' A snowflake fell on the window pane.

'Don't talk of love
Well, I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory'

Kagome doesn't want to disturbthe peaceful dormancy of the memories of love she had had foe some time. The would forever be her own little personal secrets, never to be revealed to the outside world. But something was drwaing her to that night. That one tragic night. The tears she'd shed that one night were enough to drown her. They would have if Heisei hadn't saved her. If only she'd known what would happen if she.....

'I won't disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I'd never loved,
I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island'

Kagome walked slowly to her room and grabbed a book off the shelf. It was the only thing that brought her comfort other than Rin. A pen was stuck between the pages and Kagome began to read the last entry. The poem she'd written on the fatal night. The words would have brought tears to her eyes, had she not been as strong as she was. Kagome could handle the words on the paper. It was the incident that had previously happened that would have made her sad.

'I have my books
And my poetry to protect me'

Kagome heard Sesshomaru enter the house and she threw a barrier around the room. When he saw it, he knew it was best to leave her alone. Kagome got like this some days, and he found it in his bes intrest to stay out of her way. That way, he could live to see her another day. Sesshomaru had picked Rin up from school that day, and had dropped her off over Sango's house for her to play with Shippo, Sango's nephew, and Kohaku, her younger brother. Kagome was happy that she could be alone in the room. It was like her own little cocoon that helped her think and rest easily. If Sesshomaru had come in and disturbed her, he more than likely ould have een purified to Hell and back with the power that Kagome was feeling that day. Her powers were like her body guard....her armor. And she loved them.

'I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no-one and no-one touches me'

No matter how hard it was to forget about that night, Kagome knew that it wouls always come back into her memories and she hated it. Kagome began to drift off to sleep, but not before thinking, 'I will not feel pain again, for I do not wish to accpet it. I will never cry again.'

'I am a rock
I am an island
And the rock feels no pain
And an island never cries'

Kagome rolled over, yawned, and fell asleep.

 

Author's Note

Another diclaimer--I do not own this song or any of the following!!