You Made Me This Way

You Made Me This Way

A Poem by RachelReaper
"

Hope you enjoy

"

You Made Me This Way

The voices, they talk

Shadows linger where they're not

Your voice fills the air

But you're not even here

 

You make me so crazy

I'm crossing the bridge to insanity

I need to be locked up

In a padded room

So so far away from you

Forever

 

Why do I see you

When no one else can

Why can I hear you

From where I stand

 

I can't believe that

No one else knows

What's wrong with me

But one

And that one won't show

 

You make me so crazy

I'm crossing the bridge to insanity

I need to be locked up in a rubber room

So so far away from you

Forever

Forever

 

Colors swirl

(Colors swirl)-echo

Floors tilt

(Floors tilt)-echo

Chaos builds

(Chaos builds)-echo

Time stands still

(Time stands still)-echo

 

You make me so crazy

I'm crossing the bridge to insanity

I need to be locked up in a padded room

So so far away from you

 

You make me so crazy

I'm crossing the bridge to insanity

I need to be locked up in a padded room

So so far away from you

Forever

Forever, my love, forever

Forever

 

 

 

 

© 2012 RachelReaper


Author's Note

RachelReaper
Heyyyyy now, this is the first song I've ever written, so be nice please. But... really..... what did you think?

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Reviews

this is very good, well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


RachelReaper

11 Years Ago

thanks you so much :) I wrote it a long time ago
Zahra

11 Years Ago

:) thanks for sharing
Would listen to this anyday. So vivid, beautiful xD

Posted 11 Years Ago


RachelReaper

11 Years Ago

thanks Jade
I'll use a word i came up with about a month ago

AWESOMETASTIC

Posted 11 Years Ago


RachelReaper

11 Years Ago

thank you :)
Excellent, much better than my first songs. Great job, I think you should write them more often.

Posted 11 Years Ago


RachelReaper

11 Years Ago

thank you :)
Ethale Captor

11 Years Ago

No problem.
This is really good! With the right angry girl rock music, I can see it working. Reminds me of Cryoshell's "Creeping in my Soul".
Welcome to the group!

Posted 11 Years Ago


RachelReaper

11 Years Ago

thanks!!!
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Tex
very very nice. you missed one rubber room to padded room switch. look at the second time you use the hook.
This was one of poems that I read that convinced me to join Writerscafe. Very well done I am into lyrics and this has it all, the druged affect of love and wishing to kick the habit is pictured very nicely.

Posted 11 Years Ago


RachelReaper

11 Years Ago

that was... thank you. That's one of the best compliments I've gotten
Vivid. It makes me really feel insane! Your writing is so colorful and vivid.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Perfect for a song!! Sing it and post it on internet! Honest!!
100/100

Posted 11 Years Ago


Brilliant. To think were alone is common. Once upon a time I thought I was mad, turned out to be divine.

Posted 11 Years Ago


This is a great piece about descending into darkness. I especially love this part:
"The voices, they talk
Shadows linger where they're not
Your voice fills the air
But you're not even here

And this part:
"I can't believe that
No one else knows
What's wrong with me
But one
And that one won't show"

Very well written!! One thought (and ignore it if you chose it for a reason) but instead of a 'rubber room', did you ever consider a 'padded room'? I only ask because I know that's what they are referred to in hospitals and mental institutions. And since this whole piece deals with darkness and insanity... But as I said before, ignore this if you chose 'rubber room' for a reason.

Again, this is a great piece!! =)


Posted 11 Years Ago


RachelReaper

11 Years Ago

actually, now that you've suggested it, I like padded room better, thank you!
Whitney Kleinhuizen

11 Years Ago

Glad I could help! Again, great writing.

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660 Views
24 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 20, 2012
Last Updated on September 15, 2012

Author

RachelReaper
RachelReaper

About
Hey!!!!! My name is Rachel, and my unofficial last name is Reaper. I am 14 years old. Blood and kisses to all who review my work, I appreciate it so much and couldn't express to you how much it means .. more..

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