Isolation

They see you frown.

They see you cry.

They see you be silent.

Isolation.

 

They make judgements.

Rude. Mean. Antisocial.

They don’t talk to you.

They don’t go out with you.

Is it because they don’t know what to say?

Is it because they don’t know what to do?

 

What they really don’t know is why.

Why you frown and cry.

Why you sit in silence.

Why you stand in isolation.

 

An overwhelming fear.

Passing through your head over and over.

As endless as waves crashing on the shore

And as timeless as time itself.

The fear that they don’t like you.

The person you are. The person they see.

Crushing your heart again and again.

 

The desperate need for others to like you

Because you don’t like yourself.

 

You are ripped out of isolation by only this hatred.

The sheer desire not to be alone with THAT person.

And because of all the thoughts you have when you are.

 

You become the people by whom you surround yourself.

So malleable because you are barely a person.

Barely your own person.

 

Laugh to make others laugh.

Dress nice so others like what they see.

Starve so you look skinny.

Not for you. But for them.

You are who you are for others.

Because it doesn’t matter who you are for yourself.

 

Darkness in the light. Silence in the clamor.

When there are people all around, but you still feel alone.

Why? Because you are missing that person. THAT person.

The person who is there for you through good times and bad.

The person who is with you forever. No matter what.

The person who is supposed to love you the most.

 

Yourself.

 

You don’t know what isolation is

Until not even YOU are there for YOU.