Pancakes

Man

Hurry up with my meal

I can't deal with

Waiting another second

So there she is

Skip the chitchat

Let me have atter

So I poise myself

As a wrestler ready to sprawl

Fast twitch muscles at the ready

Soon as the hot plate touches down

It's on

Not just one, but the other as well

Elbows on the table

And I'm off

Digging into with all of my teeth

Face first a beard of syrup develops

Instanteously

Jaw muscles getting sore

From how quickly I devour

The sugar rush is palpable

I get so full so quickly

But I can't stop I can't quit

Till the plate is finished

Ya I don't give up

On food

I don't quit eating

How rude

Until the plate is done

My eyes bulged like my stomach

Feeling like I'm about to explode

I'm on the dog lying on it's belly heaving

After someone left the bag out accidentally

Reviews

[Johanna]

Food, food, food

[Tabitha Deasún]

I enjoy the word usage and who doesn't like a poem about food! However, I find it hard to catch the rhythm for it. At parts it feels especially disjointed or as though you get a flow, but lose it with the choice of a word that is too harsh in comparison. It's not bad mind you. Just something I noticed. Keep up the work!

[Tennessee]

Man, you're awesome. You just wrote the best poem ever, why can't we study this stuff in high school? It was funny and well written, sick man :)

[Luke L]

thank you sir

[Zoey Ray]

Pancakes are the best! That is why I have them for breakfast as well as dinner, and any other time of the day! Awesome poem!

[FlatLineBeauty]

Haha this was pretty good. It made me hungry for pancakes @.@

[kublakhan27]

Haha atter...that part made me laugh...your writing style reminds me a bit of the 60s Beat writers, that matter-of-fact tone and dry humour you write with...great job Luke :)

[Luke L]

thanks man, ya it's something my grandpa says

[kublakhan27]

Haha same here actually...must be Canadian dialect :P

[bobc]

L...I call this 'inhaling the meal'. Happens every time I prepare turkey. ...bobc

[AmandaN]

Mmmhmmm pancakes! I felt like I was watching you eat :-)

[MsJewel]

You must really love pancakes! Great poem~

:) Julie

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

"Ya I don't give up
On food
I don't quit eating
How rude"

The cadence and the rhyme give a break from the free verse and the fluid flow of words. This achieved a good effect. Now, I'm craving for pancakes. ;)