Let It Shine

Short stature cracker

Through muddied blonde hair and jagged teeth

I scream from behind my guitar electric

"Sick and Twisted" original songwriter eccentric

I cough up hepatitis into the dynamic mic's grill

As I spit through my rendition of "Polly"

And the crowd sings along

Another song the same as last week

I don't make tweeks to it

I'm trying to make the audience my b***h and abuse it

But my percussive noisy stylings

Fall flat

Soul is grimey crusty for this semi-homeless

The other singers and guitars music

Too pretty too shiny it's garbage

My trash is diamonds

And I'm going to let it shine

Let it shine

Let it shine

The pale through scruffy shadow

Let it shine

Reviews

[Kate H]

100% honesty here, within the first couple of lines, I instantly thought of Kurt Cobain. If you asked me why-
"I cough up hepatitis into the dynamic mic's grill
As I spit through my rendition of "Polly"
And the crowd sings along
Another song the same as last week
I don't make tweeks to it," sounds rather Cobain-ish. I'm a fan of Cobain and Nirvana so, I can sort of relate to the feel....interesting.

[Luke L]

thank you for the review. Very perceptive this guy sings a cover of "Polly" and his style is very Cobain-esc so that makes sense

[Kate H]

Indeed...quite a few subtle, maybe even subconscious subliminal messages or references. Makes for a unique work :)

[linda m. crate]

Hmm. I like it. It has a rugged feel to it. Edgy, but not pushed over the edge. Very "diamond" in the rough persona. Almost more like a song than a poem. Nicely executed!

[Bri]

Interesting and clever. I like how you've stripped a concert and gotten down to its core (not sure you'll understand this but oh well). It's amazingly bombastic!

[Luke L]

thanks I pride on my bombasticism

[Bri]

LOL, that's awesome. You should. Embrace your bombasticism!

[Baby Ricochet]

Ah the struggling musician. Let it shine indeed.

[Luke L]

thank you very much, sir :)

[bobc]

L...like this one. Wondering if it was written in the third person throughout rather than the first, if it might read more easily. I got turned about a little in the fourth stanza where it shifted to the third person (Soul is grimy crusty for this semi-homeless) and back to the first person (My trash is diamonds). Very nicely crafted...bobc

[Luke L]

ya that's a fair point, thanks for the review

[Diana]

Quite different from the last poem I read by you, "Child."

I'm reminded of noise music and heavy metal. I don't think I'm the right person to fully appreciate this one, though.

[Luke L]

no worries, each to their own. It was about this semi-homeless guy who performs at this open mic I go to sometimes, and the crazy punk rock music he makes :p

[Diana]

Okay, I understand it a little better now.

[zephyr]

I really like the feel to this piece. Really original.

[Pryde Foltz]

My trash is diamonds
And I'm going to let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine

The pale through scruffy shadow
Let it shine

Really cool write and story-telling. Awesome possum.