Lifeguard

Whoa man

What is it to be a lifeguard

Getting all the babes humping your leg

Attached like you need a razor

To get rid of them all

But it's well deserved

You saved the lives of those sputtering

Those panicked trying to get to the surface

But can't use their body correctly

Blow your whistle

See me, hear me

Beach day officer

Please don't pull me over

For speeding in the water

Oh yeah

And please don't impregnate my daughter

Use a wet suit when you're swimming with her

Matter of fact don't jump in

Just let her drown

Striking a pose like a gladiator

Photosynthesis to overstimulate

Your skins melatonin response

So now you're a the freckled carrot

Protector of gross tourists

I salute you, sir

Reviews

[BlueZan]

I like this.
I've read several of your other pieces in the last few minutes and your ability to write the dark and morose is made even better by your ability to also write humour such as this.
You're very talented! I look forward to reading more!

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh yeah
And please don't impregnate my daughter
Use a wet suit when you're swimming with her
Matter of fact don't jump in
Just let her drown

Funny stuff … did you have and run in with a lifeguard.

[Luke L]

not really, I just felt like I was writing a lot of dark stuff, because it's easier and I wanted to challenge myself to write some stuff that wasn't dark