Who The F**k

Now who the f**k told you, you could

Bright eyed m**********r

Fish trying to reach the surface

Ramming face first into a solid wall of ice

Who the f**k told you, you were good

Hmm

You ain't suffered enough

You ain't worked

You applied no thought

Who the f**k told you, you didn't suck

There is this long line of lambs

Trying to climb mountains

You're not big horned rams

You're just stuffed animals

And who the f**k told you to start

You should've quit before you lift

A finger

Before a single neuron fires

You should've went back to bed

You're just too weak

A stalk of wheat in a windstorm

An insect against the swarm

You shout with your eyes closed

"Marco"

But you can't even hear the

"Polo"

You're not warm

All you are is an animal

You can't rise above your nature

A creature of habit

Reviews

[Kate H]

This piece says so much aloud and as well as in subliminal messages. I also believe ( though I may be wrong), you may have been in a rather pressured, dark, suffocating place or point in your life. These words are moving, to say the least. Thank you for sharing with us, your raw emotion.

[Luke L]

you're welcome, thanks for the review

[BL]

Too f*****g right well expressed

[Laur]

You shout with your eyes closed
"Marco"
But you can't even hear the
"Polo"
You're not warm

LOVE this ^ you have a true talent for poetry

[Demii]

I liked this, its pretty strong and I liked how you used Marco, Polo in there as well, "You shout with your eyes closed "Marco", But you can't even hear the "Polo" "

[BlueZan]

F*****g fantastic. Acidic, raw anger. Get a paper cut and then trim it with lovely margarita salt and the feeling that ensues is the feeling this instills. I love it.

[charlie]

Yes. Rightly or wrongly, the biggest achievement for some is to be willing to crawl out of bed in the mornings...
I noticed this tagged with anger, but it can also read like desperation, or hopelessness.
I like the direct contact that is expressed with raw nerve.

[Luke L]

thank you sir

[Baby Ricochet]

This reads a lot like the s**t the drill instructors yelled at us pretty much non stop the first month of basic training on Parris island. Oh those were the days.

[Luke L]

haha ya I could see that man, thanks

[Blue]

"You can't rise about your nature
A creature of habit."

The last two lines resound with intensity. Creature of habit, I like that.

[Luke L]

thank you very much

[Pryde Foltz]

This is the worst love poem e….ver. Okay, seriously …

You're not warm
All you are is an animal
You can't rise about your nature
A creature of habit

Be honest … you KNOW this is not true. The fact that you can claim it is evidence enough.

[Luke L]

Objectively no it's not true, I was just capturing a feeling, I don't necessarily write things that I think are "true" persay, just stuff that I think is meaningful to me on some level, I was moreso talking about certain thoughts that can come in someone's head

[Pryde Foltz]

I got you … I think most of us think this way sometimes:)