The Clown, If You Will

It's a party

A birthday

Hurray you're turning two

You little snot

Someone should blow you out

And wash their hands

I am the entertainer

The clown, if you will

Let me smile and put on a show

I would rather just shoot up

But I have a mortgage I need some bread dough

Yeah through your pie and cake in my face

Pee on my leg

I'm just a piece of garbage

Not even human

You'll be smiling and laughing when I get my revenge

So I blow up a poodle for you to look like your dog

Barky

I hand it over

You beam and smile at me

My face beams back but the eyes have a sinister gleam

I pull out something shiny

Out of my big ridiculous orange shoe

I c**k it back

And start firing

I pop the balloon animals

Just to see their little kiddie smiles turn to frowns

I was a nice guy

But I didn't like the way these little kids

Treated me like a b***h

No I'm not going to kill you

I just want to hold you while you watch

A little scotch I guzzle to liquid courage

Out of a flask from my pants

I shove my face first into your cake

Destruction

I light the candles one

Throw them on the carpet in a ring

Around your presents and your toys

And then I crush the s**t out of them

With my shoes

Giggling at the screams

Of the little girls and boys

Reviews

[Morgan Storms]

Holy crap, I found this funny. I kind of imagine clowns going ape at a kid party, what it would be like, well you wrote it. Nice to read something funny and twisted.

[Blue]

This is highly entertaining! Clowns scare me though. Their neon make up and mastered smiles freak me out.

[Jester]

This is just blowing my mind right now. lol

[Bri]

I HATE CLOWNS! This just multiplied my fear by a gazillion and forty-two. You had some strong, scary images painted into my mind and although it made me cringe, it was well done.

[Pryde Foltz]

Like clowns aren't scary enough. I must have a black sense of humour because I found this funny … in a widely inappropriate way.

[Baby Ricochet]

Remind me not to hire that guy for my girlfriend's little niece's party

[Luke L]

good call man haha I am a sick f**k :)

[charlie]

Someone should paint that frown upside down, coz he gives me a chill - the clown if you will.
Scary stuff, and sad.

[Luke L]

thanks, I was thinking about Eminem a bit when I wrote this