Paper & Pen

Listening to Lux Aeterna always gets my mind going.

My mind isn't right,
So you came last night.
In you I did confide,
and then I cried.

Deep like a vein,
Inside was pain.
Had to release,
To find some peace.

A moment of relief,
But it's only brief.
I try to implore but,
You walk out my door.

Oh the world I hate,
Because this is my fate.
To be alone again,
Back to paper and pen.

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Loved this poem! Great flow, rhythm and rhyme. The last verse eloquently sums up the poet's plight- people may come and go, but pen and paper stay forever. Kudos!

[Lykos]

Exactly, will always have them close at hand. Thank you for the review. Appreciate it

[rowan.taylorrr]

this is really good. I really like the wording you use, I adore this

[Lykos]

Thank you for the review. Appreciate it.

[Nikolean]

I quite like how short and quaint this piece is. A small critique may be the first stanza. The poem is full of parallel structure but the short syllables don't really match up with the rest of the poem and thus disrupts the flow. Otherwise, it was pretty well written and the rhymes worked well. I like how the writer says that he always returns to paper and pen- it really says something about his character.

[Lykos]

Thanks that's what I was going for I didn't know whether to leave the first stanza or change it, I needed a second opinion, thanks for that. Appreciate your review and constructive criticism.