Summer

Kids playing baseball 
Kids goofing off, 
The dad's are all gone 
Gone to play golf. 
And now it's so hot 
The slightest breeze, 
Makes all of the Kids 
Fall To their knees.
And all of the boys 
Hope and they wish, 
That maybe today 
They can go fish.

 

Author's Note

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Reviews

[zombiikillah666]

i like this aswell. nice (:

[<3 Simply Rebekah <3]

i think its kinda cute, i like the rhyming in it!
man this brings back some great memories! =)
Very nice

[closed]

Since you review my poem Autumn I thought it would be fitting to read this. This is really cute I'm not going to lie, it reminds me of my freinds and I in the summer. We goof off go fishing ect ect. I really enjoyed this poem and the picture it painted.

[H-Jonesy]

its a simple and true piece. To me it really represents what summer is all about. very well done

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

simple and real piece.....you have taken back to my island....great write "poem Master".

[sweetylee1994]

I liked everything about it. The Fishing was random thoug-like the other girl I thought Kissing was going to be mentioned. Honestly, though. Fishing gives it a better feel. Like a way to cool down after a hot day. Fishing is relaxing and a fun evening event to do in the summer. I love it. It is way more innocent then kissing. ^-^ Great poem, nice flow. It made me reminisce on the past summer events that took place with my sisters in Indiana when we would spent countless hours outside playing barefoot in Donna's feild. It was soo long ago. From dawn to dusk we would run around while my Mother and step father would play music. I miss those days.

[Journey]

This is good. It brought to mind my good times during the summer. As a little girl I stayed outside as much as I could. I thought the last line was going to be: "They will receive their first kiss" but what you wrote is good. I was just thinking ahead of your words.

[Taylor H.]

It's So Hot That
The Slightest Breeze,
Makes All The Kids
Fall To Their Knees.

these lines kind of through off the beat. Try to make each line either its own sentence or one sentence per 2 lines.

ex:

do:
Kids Playing Baseball---one sentence one line

dont:
kids playing
Baseball---one sentnece broken into two lines

do:
That Maybe Today
They Can Go Fishing.---one sentence 2 lines.

just try to keep the beat and possibly make it a little longer.

Other than that, this is a great poem. :) its cute