Skins

Written May 2007, pre-deletion date.

Skins

 

Holding everything, but wanting nothing.

Future, fate and treason, words rhyme and reason.

100ft walls, chains and restriction, actions hiding contradiction.

Illusions, grief, its most pathetic, take your life and just forget it.

 

Hollow shells, incomplete days, you fill your life in petty ways.

Lies all lies, the mind will crumble, down the rabbit hole you tumble.

The fortress of your creation, your eyes hold back a conversation.

Hardened, solid, you stay protected, when actually you feel rejected.

 

Mediocre, boring, unachieving, missed, lost and unbelieving.

Winning cards, losing game, deny your feelings, die in shame.

You’ve changed; you dealt, you cried, you felt.

The mirror says you look like me, but I know different, I can see.

 

Reviews

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

Counter reflective poem with a reality check and look in the mirror attached in this message of introperspective evaluations,nice rhyming and good use of words.

[Cdnsurfer]

I like your thoughtful, rich, metaphoric style. I'm not sure about that first line, since if you have everything, you don't need to want anything, so perhaps a change to reflect, what I think you're saying, having everything and still wanting more. Absolutely love the lyric playfulness in the long lines, which carries a playfulness along with the thoughtfulness. Each line acting like a rhyming couplet imbedded in a single line. Ah, the mystery of being. Loved it. Cheers! Rob

[Imagedden]

The stimulus of the subliminal external approval eradicates the inner persona and clashes with the persona we give to the world all exacerbated by conventions we had no part in establishing. Truth and fairness fell down a yawning abyss decades ago and good on you for brutally nailing it. This next bit is for you.

May you fuse with a muse
Between the portal
Of the owl and the tiger
Panavisions of life
Morphing so slowly
While you dance with the tides
And caress the wind
Drinking herbal tea
Under a waterfall
With the oracle of delphi
Beneath a moonbeam tree

All the best

Imagedden

[Oz in Exile]

This is only half a poem. C'mon Manoosh, don't keep all the good stuff to yourself!

[James Takeo Panton]

Rolls along nicely.....well-worded honestly....great rhyme and rhythm....good stuff!

[Nameless]

wow, this is so great. you express the idea perfectly and i LOVE the rhyme within each line. awesome

[The Random Writings Of ..]

This is a pretty [powerful piece, and as you say in my writing, I can also see a lot of myself in this piece. Wow, it is oddly strange yet confortating to know that someone out there someone can feel pain as I do,so deep and so real. I shouldn't say that, many people feel pain they just can't put it into words.
xoxo

[Celtic Cat]

OUCH, honey, ouch. This piece screams out to me in pain. It's so well written and the ending is a kicker. Actually, the whole thing stings. So sad, so crucial, so dripping brutality. : (
((((hugs))))

[Zane Mathias]

Great Write....... This is true on so many levels.

[Ron Reardon]

Wow. Amazing. This brought to mind the old 70's coffee shops. The one;s in which the young hippies would get up, and read a poem. And then...everyone would snap their fingers after...lol. Guess I am showing my age...lol