Incongruous

 

 

Veils of lightening flow back from your alien form

parting a copper sea of clouds, exposing a steel sky

Precariously, you perch on the tip of an ancient cyclonic tree

as if to make an escape from the source of your life

that seems to dwindle away a little more each day

So strange with it’s glowing azure lights

so incongruous with the changing world

I hear your thoughts between our minds

A telepathic touch that keeps us as entwined as your tree’s roots

grasping deeply into the stone, forcing fissures, seeking sustenance

like the claws of a lion or the talons of a falcon on it’s prey

Like the twisting of the tree you have twisted me

like the tree I die a little more each day

 

Reviews

[Nix]

Michelle, I'm so impressed with this poem! Where are all your well deserved reviews?! What I liked about this (and there are many things) is the style. I adore this style! It's so well crafted with carefully chosen words to establish depth and great imagery. When I write poetry this is what I aim for. This was a real pleasure to read, thank you for entering it into my picture competition. :) ~ Nix

[Twilight]

Firstly, as Nix has pointed out, why so few reviews? I agree with all of her positive comments about this poem, by the way. Well, it does fit into the category of weird, but not quite what I had in mind for my Contest, "Weird Tales"? Even so, it is intelligently written, and seems fairly personal to you (like the other piece of writing which I reviewed for you). And why not? After all, this creation belongs to you.

A common problem with very personalised writing, is that it can be difficult for a reviewer (or casual reader) to fully understand the writer's meanings or intentions. But, your brief description helps a little, simply by describing this as a "conversation between two minds". Having said that, it raises all sorts of questions in the reader's mind, which she/her could not interpret. For example, which people are supposed to be communicating in this poem? When, and where?

At one point it refers to the pose, of being perched on the tree. So, this may even suggest that one of your protagonists is a bird! Well, how is the reader expected to know otherwise, in such a personalised piece, such as this? I won't bring up any of the further thoughts which this brings to mind, but you must understand what I mean?

Thankyou, for sharing this with us, Michelle! Perhaps, you might be interested in joining my Group, "Twilight's Disciples"? Our writing there, does include a few thought-provoking pieces, such as I know that you are more than able to write! You would be most welcome, Michelle!