I dare to look back

I dare to look back
Our cool moonlit evenings together
The way my jacket suited you
As you held onto my arm
And how my name sounded different when you said it

My black smoke breath
You kissed me all the same
And didn't mind not liking the taste
You only wanted me with you

The warmth you brought on a cold night
The simple sweetness of your smile
The promise to make a good wife

Nowadays your skin still shines
As I cling to you and cough

Too deep in and weak

To dream of fighting back

You worry about my health
As my chest grows tighter
And my every muscle aches

You’ve put a crucifix on the wall
To guard my health
And removed the mirror from your dressing table
So my pain is not reflected

Two souls now at odds with one another
Caring out of duty
Concern born from guilt

And I'm sorry

Reviews

[The Random Writings Of ..]

As I read this, it makes me think back to so many things we all could have done differently. This piece has so much meaning behind it, the love that first brought you together, true soul mates - one because even though your black smoke breath was was unappealing - the love blossomed. The tenderness and care. The brightness you see in her still, the care and love she holds for you to mask the pain. This is a lovely write. Yes easy to understand, yet the feelings of love are so complicated - true love at it's finest. It is rare that you find someone to share such a life with and I envy you for that. Thank you for sharing this tender loving peace.

[Shy Girl]

So sad...not the sickness part of the piece (which is in its self) but the undaunting relationship that carries on through...the guilt one feels if they turn their back on the one fallen ill. They fact that they know it's never going to get better.. dedication to one at the sacrifice of the other. (in a way though) This poem could be read as an infection breathing down the necks of the two within the relationship. Fights..angry words (black smoke you write of) Regret (sorry reference) all of those and more could be taken as such as well. Perplexing write :)

[Emily B]

There is a young lady from your neck of the woods that writes portraits as good as this. . . comparing you to her is the best compliment I can give

[Coyote Poetry]

This is real poetry. A complete story in the poem. I like the way you introduced the characters and the things that combined a life. The ending had a real life feel to the words. Sometime pain and sickness can keep two people together. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Alana Taylor]

I Dare To Look Back

So I'm not one for poetry, but... this is actually really interesting. I mean, I understood what it was saying without all the "deeper meaning" - and I found it really enjoyable, too. Hm. It wasn't written in a complex form; in general it's a simple poem, though it's very refreshing and I want to know more.

It doesn't seem to end in any sort of impactful way, where the pain ends due to any reason, or the lover stops caring... There isn't really a tied up finish, but I don't know, perhaps giving away more would ruin what's here.

Either way, I'm surprised but pleased to say I liked reading this. It isn't different style-wise; it wouldn't stand out at a first glance, but it's one of the few poems I can say reached me, since it makes sense. I really enjoyed this because of that. In fact, I'm definitely going to check out some more of your work.

Thanks for sharing, Mark.
Merry writing!

[..]

This one pulls on the heart strings,
I can feel the emotions just pour out.
Simply wonderful!