White

White

A Poem by Moflo
"

Ode to Writer's Block

"
Somewhere out my window
Distant mountains symbolize
A feeling that I wish I had
Because contention with my life,
As odd as this may sound,
Only seems to come out white.

I'm not fishing for lonesomeness
As all of my intentions swarm
A manifest of perfection
Breaking from the social norm
I'm accustomed to with pen in hand
But since you're back, I've lost my form!

I guess I find it hard to understand
How I could make such a living out of
Feeling depressed, destroyed, deranged, deprived,
Searching for this long lost love,
When happiness seems to quench the fire,
A feeling that puts me above.

And so my body stares with threat
At a blank computer page,
Waiting for words to leave my head,
Waiting for players on the stage
To comply a show with words,
That I've strategically arranged.

But real life comes like sharpened swords,
Pouring to my blanking sight!
The laptop closes, days are longer
But inspiration fails to write,
And I can't seem to apprehend
The words that gather in my mind.

So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!
I'm not saying I'm not happy,
I just can't find the words to say.

-I'm saying that your presence is a joy
An inspiration to my life.
You fill my head with beautiful words
That form immaculate structures, pictures,
But when the words travel to my fingertips,
They seem to come out invisible.

© 2011 Moflo


Author's Note

Moflo
Really its the last paragraph I'm not certain is necessary.

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Featured Review

I love this! "So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!"
That was perhaps the best, I think! I think a last stanza is needed as the one before it seems to end on a cliffhanger. It doesn't, technically, but I got the feeling that it did. Perhaps mess around with it a bit to figure out a better way to put it? However! The last two lines of the final stanza are perfect! Don't change those!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

you look somehow familiar, like the poem btw.

Posted 7 Years Ago


i love this piece and i do like the last paragraph....just maybe not in this write. i agree that it is not necessary. it could be used as a side note or even a dedication to the inspiration of this poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I really, really enjoyed this. I felt like I could really relate to it, and that just makes it even better. I like your word usage and how it all flows together so well, and the emotion put it meets the reader's eyes. Very nice! I look forward to reading more from you. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


:) This is beautiful!!!!
Really truly a great rhyme scheme; the meter is epic; it brings out such a strong voice.



Posted 7 Years Ago


I agree with your intuition here...though it is well-written, I think the poem would be best left without the last paragraph. My reasoning? I think to end it on the last line, "I just can't find the words to say" would be a nice parallel to the overall topic of writers block. It would leave the reader feeling the same angst as the author.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This seems to have a very nice flow and a great thought process. I like reading your writing because it is so detailed and makes me have to think a little more then most peoples :) 100%

Posted 7 Years Ago


Tangled emotions spread across the page, leaving the blank white gaps for the reader to comprehend the meaning hidden in the various shades of shadows...enchanting poetry.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Thoughts spew out easily like molten lava when we have raging emotions... and happiness puts our minds in the "white" clouds; where bliss distracts us from writing.~Well penned!

Posted 7 Years Ago


wowzers

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wow. This is genius.

"But when the words travel to my fingertips,
They seem to come out invisible. "

^^Those two lines just somehow say so much. They might be really short but they say everything the same. Thumbs up!


Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on January 11, 2011
Last Updated on January 11, 2011

Author

Moflo
Moflo

NY



About
I am a 26 year old recent college grad trying to establish myself. Recently moved back to NY from Pennsylvania and looking for work. Now working on becoming an English teacher. more..

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