Blood and Mascara Tears

Yes, this is true.

So you see, I can't believe this.
This pain I've dealt with,
has left me to wonder
whether any of it was true.
You say we can be friends,
yes I believe so too,
yet there's a problem with you,
you don't know how.
My childhood best friend,
why did you betray me so?
When our love has been pure,
for quite some time.
I've started to question
every word you ever said
due to the fact that it was easy enough for you
to walk away, to break my heart.
These pieces you've left
will no longer welcome you,
for the pain was much too real,
worse than when you almost died.
That night, out at the lake, yeah
you know the one,
when you held me, kept me warm,
kissed me the way you did for so many years.
Was that night, one of my best,
played out the way you intended?
Did you want me like you said, was my heart your toy,
or were you out for fun before you left me shattered?
You see, here's where you went wrong.
You thought I'd handle it well.
Do you remember what you asked of me?
The deed you never thought I would be able to do?
Well, you fucked up. You know what?
I did do it.
How does it feel knowing you are the reason I did?
The steak knife in the kitchen, I took it, I cut my wrist.
The blood that welled,
was an unknown pleasure that I didn't think would help,
but I was wrong, oh how I was wrong my "lifelong" friend,
it worked wonders.
Oh yeah, that migraine I had,
you know, from crying my eyes and heart out,
never left, never died away.
It's there with the memory of that night.
The stain on my satin pillow,
the mixture of blood and mascara tears,
is just a silent reminder of how you, my "love"
used, and lost the one person who always
Cared.

Author's Note

Yes, this is true, every word. But don't judge me.

Reviews

[Cassi M.]

At first I was going to say that it felt so real that it was like you had experienced this. Then I read the author's note, and it proved to me that it was real. Anyways, it's obvious that these words mean a lot to you and this poem has an incredible amount of voice. Everytime I read it I hear a heartbroken woman telling this story. Very good job, as usual.

[Leanne Conway]

Wow, very pwerful and I'm sorry to hear.

[.]

"I've started to question
every word you ever said
due to the fact that it was easy enough for you
to walk away, to break my heart.
These pieces you've left
will no longer welcome you,
for the pain was much too real,
worse than when you almost died."
ha--i can feel your mood in this piece-awesome!!!:-)
i really love the last few lines as well-great write:-)
love this!!!:-)

james:-)

[emily joe]

i really really like this. i don't think anybody can judge you on this website, because this is what writing is. it's an explanation, a telling of events. i would of course never do such a thing, but after you went through that, and wrote about it, i feel like i almost expirienced the same thing. you showed me, not told me. this is excellent. you captured a hard emotion, and you carried it out very well. awesome, yet again ! you go girl :D

[Andrew Wright]

Judge? This is beauty in the true sense of the word. Pain is something that brings that beauty. And this shard of your beautiful self is something I can respect and commend. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

I'm crying. I can really relate to that (except the cutting part. I'd never have the guts for that.). I'm sorry you had to go through with that. I know how you feel. This was very deep and emotional. Loved it.

[jing]

emotionally written, it's a painful experience for you. nice work on every line. I can feel your pain as I read it.

[Tina Kline]

Oh, I can understand the feeling that drove you to do this. That awful hurt inside that defies description, that is so hard to write down on paper. That hurt so bad inside that you could just kill yourself. Yes, I know cutting can relieve that hurt inside. Hurting yourself can relieve all kinds of emotions, emotions so deep and powerful they leave you numb. Your poem is outstanding.

[deeps]

I love this, this rocks. So emotional I really like this.
This is so powerful and deep..

[Iota]

Maybe if I had never been hurt like this I wouldn't really understand it. I recognize the hurt and anger and disbelief. This kind of pain is really weird because it manifests into a physical form, that part was shocking how the mind can transform into a physical reality. Anyway I will never ever be hurt like that again. Excellent write my friend.