THE ORIGINAL TWISTED TALES!!!

I can't decide whether I despise or love History Day. It is a grueling, 3 month project that we spent endless class periods "working" on, but without it I don't know if Bunk and I would've been inspired to write Twisted Tales.

Twisted Tales

Monday

English

Mrs. Bairel is about to recite a poem. Students look bored and tired.

KAREN BAIREL: Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll

(Flashes glasses)

    Twas brillig and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
    All mimsy were the borogoves
    And the mome wraths outgrabe

(Emotionally) And i just love how he wrote it because...oh...its just so poetic...how it's about a spoon.

BELL

Social Studies

Mr. Gill is beginning to give a lecture on History Day, and the students are working on their projects. He sits in his chair.

RON GILL:

(Stomps pretty pony on floor and clears throat)

    History Day is very important in the sense as which we have given you all this time to work on it. If your doing a exhibit for example, you are not supposed to have just two pictures. You’re supposed to have much, much more than that. And if you’re having a multi media it's the same thing. Loads of photos…

(Student raises hand)
   
RON GILL: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Student: What's the Cold War?

RON GILL: The Cold War was a dreadful war. People were getting colds and it was spreading across the country. It was quite an epidemic...

(Mrs. Bairel enters)

RON GILL: Oh hellooo Karen
KAREN BAIREL: Hellooooo Ron! How are you today?

(Flips hair and puts on glasses)

RG: Oh fine thank you. I was just telling my class about the Cold War.
KB: I once read a poem about the Cold War.
RG: Really? Would you like to share it?
KB: Certainly.

(Clears throat)

    The Cold War was very cold,
    And so I am told,
    The story is very old.

And I just love this…don’t you? Because of the meaning…that everything is wonderful!!

(Sighs)

(Student raises hand)

Mr. Gill acknowledges the student so they can speak.

Student: Why do you have that pony?

RG: It’s such a pretty pony!!!!

BELL

Science

Mrs. Dorbin enters her classroom to find the students talking noisily.

LAURA DORBIN: Settle down!

(Students ignore her)

LD: I SAID SETTLE DOWN!!!!

    Today we’re going to learn about cells and watch a video.

(Mrs. Bairel enters)

KB: How are you today?
LD: Fine. Just teaching the students about cells.
KB: Oh! I read a poem about science once!
LD: (excitedly) Was it about cells? Atoms? The galaxy forming? Or was it the Metric System!! I’m in love with the metric system…
KB: No, actually. It was about Bill Nye.
LD: Oh my is he hott!!!!!!

(Students gape open mouthed)

(Mr. Gill enters with pretty pony)

RG: Hello Laura
LD: Why hello, Ron.
KB: What is that Ron?
RG: It’s my pretty pony!!!! It’s so pretty isn’t it? I just love it!!! (Strokes pony’s head affectionately)
    Don’t you love my pretty pony Laura?
LD: Why yes it’s quite a pretty pony.
RG: You can have it…(hands over pony shyly)

ALTERNATE ENDINGS

WHO COMES IN? MR. LORD OR MRS. ASHBURN???
BL= Ending 1
AA= Ending 2
ENDING 1

(Mr. Lord walks in)

Bryan Lord: What the crap!!!? Give me back my pretty pony!!!

(Grabs pretty pony and rides off into the sunset and out of the room)

BL: HIYAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENDING 2

LD: Oh Ron!!!
RG: Oh Laura!!!

(Grasp each other’s hands)

RG: Do you want to be my boyfriend Laura?

(Students looked shocked)

(Mrs. Ashburn walks in)

KB: How dare you Ron!!! You said you’d be my boyfriend!!! You said you’d go out with me!!!
AA: He made out with me!
RG: (ignoring Karen and Annette)
    …But before you make a decision, I’m not really a teacher…and my name isn’t Ron Gill.
LD: But if your not a teacher and not Ron Gill, who are you.
RG: Micheal Jackson!!!!!!

CHECK OUT THE NEXT ISSUE OF TWISTED TALES!!!!!!!

Author's Note

This was written while Bunk and I were goofing off while we were supposed to be working on a huge school project* at her house. It was the very first Twisted Tales ever to be written, and was a huge epiphany. We can both act out this whole scene by heart, because that was actually how we came up with it- imitating our teachers and then deciding to write it down and save it to a file on Bunk's computer. This original issue evolved into our series.

Reviews

[ScoobertDoobyDoo is my ..]

this was quite entertaining. the bill nye bit was genius. great job!