Letter to my future daughter when she turns 18

I went through some difficulties and troubles during my teenage. This is to help my future daughter with the obvious troubles during teenage.

Dear Astha, 

When you are reading this, it must be your 18th birthday. I really wish to be around you on this day, feeling extremely happy and fulfilled.  

You would be wondering why your mom is writing you a letter so much in advance and I really don't know when exactly I am going to see you for the first time. But, these are my last few months as a single girl, I might get married by few months or a year from today.  

Of course I have completed my college (apart from some part time courses, your mom loves learning new things!) and I have been working with an ad agency. So, my thoughts over study and work are almost same as some of your thoughts now. They are not formulated yet, as a mother's or a complete woman's thought.  

Yes, I might have some different experiences with life rather than yours, but there are few things that won't ever change. Therefor I would love to advice you something that might change with my age when I am in my 50s. I would love to be my daughter's best friend when still I am in my 20s. :) 

And now coming to the point, Sweetie I really want to share a lot of things with you. But, I don’t want you to get bored with a lot of advice. And apologies in advance, if I can't make you understand the way this is written. After all I am not the matured "mom" yet! 

 

Study what you like:  Honey, if we are in India, specially in a small town or city, you might face society's interference or influence in many of your decisions. But, let me tell you, this is your life. Do what makes you happy. Never opt for a course just because me or your dad is asking to opt for, unless you like the it. Fight for your passions if you have to. We don't want so called respect from people saying that our daughter is a successful "doctor" or " engineer".

  

Search for your passion: At your age, you might get confused about your career or interest area. That's totally OK. Just take a gap while studying. Think, spend some time with yourself and your hobbies. If you don't have hobbies, develop one. Leave everything, and be a vagabond. Roam around, paint, write, read (if you find a library at our home, then your mom is also following her passion!), listen to music, do what makes you free.  When you let yourself free, you get your true call, wait for a sign. 

Your personality: I really can't guess your attributes, nature or qualities right now. However make sure, you don't judge people just depending upon my and your dad's personality. I must have tried hard that you grow up with this beautiful world and not within dead walls of our home. You gotta see good things in others. It might happen that we, your parents are not the "best people" in whole world, but as you can access the world, learn good things from every one.  

Fall in love: If you are dating someone, that's great. If you are not, that is also fine for me. Let me tell you I am accepting your dating stuff happily. Make sure you tell this to me and your dad. I guess we are still "super cool" about everything!! Dating or may be this current relationship is part of your life, but always remember, your career and your family are at the first position. You should never give up your career and family just because of this relationship. Give your best to this relationship honey that is how you love someone. 

Love yourself: If you are an introvert like me, that is totally OK. You don't need to be like others, who can not stop talking. And if you are talkative, that is also great, I would love to hear your stories everyday :) You are at your best, when you are yourself. Be proud about yourself. 

You are the best daughter ever: Yes you are the most beautiful and smartest girl I have ever met. (LOL, I know I have not seen you yet, but I am sure about this) Sweetie, never go by the looks, never feel bad about your shape, skin color or height or any physical attributes. Everyone in this world is different and that defines their beauty. I don't know if you are a Physics star, or a math master, or a future architect, or a dancer, or a writer or may be Picasso is your inspiration. Find your inner soul and it will lead you to your best qualities. 

And I guess, that is end of my written advises. Of course I want to tell you many things but let us save it for future. Plus I also need to make sure that you don’t get bored! I would be extremely happy to continue this talk anytime, sitting on the porch (or I guess there should be a "Jhula" at our place). Now go get your surprise gifts in your room!! Wish you a super exciting and awesome year ahead. 

With Love, 

Your Mom in her 20s. 

 

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

What an honest piece of soul searching! One, I can certainly share as that feeling of having said and shared everything you wanted it with your loved ones is very important. It is also worth pointing that there is a humbling effect also present as she could also just read it and throw it away as the teenage years can be very selfish and so they should be. So the writing has a quality as if "for what is worth" and as it goes down the lines with everything that I would at least consider sound advice and emotional confessions from mother to daughter there is that desire to enlighten which makes it so vivid. In the hope that by the adolecent knowing that we all went through something similar she might feel more understood and less suceptible to plunging into despair.

Great hopeful lines

Thankyou

[Prakruti]

Thanks a lot for reviewing. Hope me future daughter likes it ;)

[Rene Salinas]

Let's hope....

[Echoes of Eros]

This made me sigh so deeply, Prakruti, how you express your love and wisdom and light for your future daughter, wanting to make sure she has a solid foundation for her precious life. It is beyond beautiful, and displays your gracious, loving heart. xo

[Prakruti]

Thank you! I don't want anyone to face the obvious issues I faced during my teen age :)
Thanks a ton for "beyond beautiful"!!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thorough and written with great passion and love........
your daughter will be very lucky to have you.
beautiful write!
i loved it!!!
:)

[Prakruti]

Thank you Pushkar!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome........:) :)

[M.A.Rathore]

This is really great advising daughters specially for the mothers at hand. Though advising is a triat of women yet it is good for daughter to be advised . And it is obivious daughters do not get bored by any advice she receives from elders and if it is a mother then there is no problem. Your guidance is a kind of lovely treatment that atleadt daughters should get it right before being matured so that she may handle all those wanted and unwanted behaviour she receives from the society according to rules and conventions it is made up. The world is under a vibrent change. Daughters get more freedom these days but still it is advisible to take care of them in all their career until they get married and then as a married to keep them safe from the hungry drekula's of society. Unlike western countries India is still growing and its conventions are still in budding. Come what may we have to be more attentive for our daughters'care.
As this piece is an everlasting effort to make daughters the bedt citizen of the world.
Really I love your lovely counscelling...