Notice Me

Random poem, about how a crush can turn into an obsession. Haven't written anything for a while, let me know what you think!

She blushes,

He keeps walking.

Slowly he rounds the corner.

She turns toward him,

He keeps walking.

Frustrated thought and racing daydreams blind her,

He doesn’t notice.

She follows him. It turns into an obsession.

He thinks it’s funny.

She feels hurt and vows to redeem herself.

 

She climbs into his window that night,

He jumps, startled and confused.

She pulls out a knife and stabs him.

He dies instantly, a look of shock frozen on his face.

She is satisfied and walks home thinking,

“He finally noticed me.”

Author's Note

What do you think about this? It's different for me, kind of weird.
Leave a review!

Reviews

[Lauren Marie]

Well, before I even read this poem, I was expecting the typical crush teenager poetry, and I thought that I was going to relate to it. I'm glad to say that I don't. :)

But this was really good. It had that suspence and mystery and then horror and sadness, all combined to create an almost twisted version of your average love story. It's always great to read a story with a twist!

So, great job!
~Lauren

[Dom]

Awesome poem! The ending was a big suprise. Great job. :)

[mystic soul]

scary!!!!!!! but loved it......... great work!!! horror, sadness, mystery... every dark emotion was there... awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lizanne]

It is indeed dark. There are those that cannot accept the humiliation of rejection. You so aptly pointed this out in a poetic work that shouts volumes about the darker side of unrequinted love. You have talent and hope to see more of your works come forth.