Tuesday

Tuesday

A Chapter by PyroKitty24
"

Anju learns part of what she needs to know to live her life regret-free, but will she make the right choice in the end?

"

Anju gritted her teeth to stop herself from crying out. The pain was almost unbearable. She felt the knife roughly removed from her throat, but almost instantly her wounds began to heal. She could almost feel the disbelief rolling off of Spoorn in waves. Suddenly she was dropped face-first onto the ground once again. She felt the knife being repeatedly thrust into her back in various places. She gave a gasp of pain at every hit, but she would not scream. She refused to give in.

“Why? Won’t? You? DIE!?” Spoorn screeched, stabbing her with every word. Anju could feel the wounds heal after the knife was removed. She couldn’t help but start laughing at Spoorn’s frustration.

“What the f**k are you?” he growled, flipping her onto her now healed back. That only made Anju laugh even harder. “Whoops! I forgot! I’m an immortal!” she laughed. The look Spoorn gave her was priceless and that just made her laugh harder.

“D****t! Die!” Spoorn screamed. He stabbed the knife into her chest, just above her stomach. Anju gasped in pain and blood started to dribble from her mouth.

She looked up at Spoorn in surprise. Spoorn looked just as surprised when he saw the pain he had given her, and that the wound wasn’t healing right away.

 


Anju woke up when she heard Lance walk into the house. She was surprised at first, then realized she must have fallen asleep on the couch reading last night. Yes, the book was laying on the floor as if she had dropped it in her sleep.


“Hey Lance,” she said with a yawn as she sat up, “How was job hunting?”


Lance came over to Anju and sat down next to her with a wide smile.


“I found a job!” he explained, “It is for a factory. It involves a lot of heavy lifting, but I can handle it. It will also change shifts on me a lot, but at least I have a job, right?”


“Yes! That’s great!” Anju laughed, reaching out and hugging the man. He returned the hug with a giant squeeze, causing Anju to giggle like a child.


“We will be able to move out of here and rent our own place soon,” Lance told his fiancée, “The children will be able to go to school again. They can have nice clothes and toys. We can finally afford food and won’t have to live off of my father anymore!”


Anju thought that Lance was thinking a little too far ahead, but she was happy nonetheless. All of those things sounded great, and she hoped they would come soon.


She asked as she pulled away, “Do you want me to go find a job too?”


“Oh, no,” Lance said quickly, looking as if he was offended, “Your college classes will be starting up soon. I don’t want you working too hard. I can handle it.”


Anju smiled at Lance. That was thoughtful of him, but Anju knew that he also had a problem with girls getting jobs. She knew that Emmy hadn’t had a job and had lived off of Lance, but he had another thing coming if he thought she would be the same way. She was working hard to get a degree in education, and she would be using it. She would see to that.


“Hm? Did Haku leave one of his books out here again?” Lance asked, bringing Anju back to the present. She looked at the book Lance had just picked up off the ground. A Full Tale of Ithaca.


“Oh!” Anju exclaimed, “That’s mine! I borrowed it from Grand and must have gone to sleep while I was reading it!”


Lance gave Anju a confused look. She could see the suspicion in his eyes.


“Why are you reading this?” he asked, handing the book back to her.


“Well, you used to live there. And I’m majoring in History, so why not? It interests me!” Anju responded, snatching the book out of his hand and clasping it against her chest. She was afraid he was about to snap and get angry with her, but she couldn’t help but be a little feisty. She inherited her personality from her mother.


Lance’s eyes narrowed at her response, and she was almost positive he was about to break and go into one of his ‘moods’ again. But instead he just stood up and walked into the kitchen.


Anju sighed before lying down and picking up her book once more. She flipped through it to find her page. She remembered reading about the first Ithacan-Atokan war. Ithaca had been a strong nation then, and Atoka was just forming. Even though Atoka was larger, they were weaker than the older Ithaca. Atoka built up its forces quickly though and destroyed Ithaca, feeling like they were a threat. The second Ithacan-Atokan war had just recently ended. In fact, her brother had been in it. He was in the navy, after all. Ithaca had been a monarchy for years until about two years ago. Communists had formed and taken over the monarchy in one hit. They hadn’t been prepared. The communists then started to harass Atoka and try to make many demands of them. Ithaca sunk any Atokan ship that got remotely near their borders, as well as airplanes. Atoka couldn’t take it anymore, and they invaded Ithaca. They destroyed the communist nation and took over. They left it with no government system, and whenever one seemed close to forming Atoka was sure to destroy it. They were trying to kill off all of the Ithacans. But why? To make matters worse, the Atokan Army formed Work Camps here in Atoka! There were three of them. They were huge and forced Ithacans of all ages that were once loyal Atokan citizens to work to either enhance the camp or send food to their military. Even Atokans with the slightest trace of Ithacan blood in them were sent to the Work Camps. Unfortunately, Lance’s first wife had hailed from Ithaca, and Lance had moved there when he married her. Lance had been sent off to the war effort, and Anju couldn’t stop the Work Camps from taking his children. Odysseus had been smart enough to hide Xin when he heard the soldiers come in. Because Anju was Atokan, she managed to keep Soren. But the other five children were taken.


Anju sighed as she recalled these events. She wanted to know why the army was doing this. She knew that asking Spoorn was her only choice. She had to go to his funeral and try to confront this immortal. Oh, she knew he would be there. She knew that Immortals were attracted to their own funerals. She had never had one, but she had family members who had. It was true. So she expected to see Spoorn there. But if she could question him about the military’s actions would be a whole different story.

“That’s it!” Spoorn cried out, seeing the gaping wound he had left in Anju’s belly, “Immortals have a weakness! I found yours!”

He went to stab her again, but Anju’s immortal reflexes helped her to roll out of the way just in time. Now she was in for it. She had told him her secret because she figured he would die. But he knew now. He knew her biggest weakness. She had died from being stabbed in the stomach, and if she was stabbed again she would die her final death. Even immortality wouldn’t work on her then.

She stood up and reached out at the general. She smacked him across the face, which caused his jaw to make a loud cracking noise. She hit him again with the other hand, and his cheek tore from the force and he started to bleed. Anju just kept smacking him out of anger. When she thought he was finished, he lurched forward and stabbed her in the stomach once again. He missed her vital spot. But it still hurt, and it would take a while to heal. Now she was angry. She went to attack him once again, but he had already fallen over onto his side. He was dead.

Anju stared at the man in disgust before turning around and walked toward the exit of the camp. She was suddenly grabbed by the ankle and pulled back. She almost fell onto the ground, but at last minute managed to catch herself and keep her balance. She looked back and saw Spoorn’s greedy, amber eyes staring up at her in amazement.

“I want to be like you! Make me immortal!” he cried. Lust and greed took the place of amazement in his eyes. Anju was disgusted just by looking at him. He deserved to die here. He was the one who had come to the house and stolen the children from her. He was the one in charge of this work camp. He was the one that made her poor children suffer. She kicked him in the chin, causing his jaw to make another sickening crack. She couldn’t pull her foot out of his grip though. She was too tired. Her stomach wounds were aching, and she knew if she didn’t do something soon they would both die their final death here and now.

“Fine!” she screeched, “I’ll make you immortal! Let go of me! We’ll both die if you don’t!”

He loosened his grip on her ankle and Anju reached down and grabbed the man by the arm. He wasn’t well enough to walk, so Anju dragged him behind her the whole way home. She wasn’t sure exactly when, but he died somewhere between the work camp and her soon to be father-in-law’s house.



© 2011 PyroKitty24


Author's Note

PyroKitty24
Sorry about the grammar, this chapter was written quickly. The next will be better! This was really a filler, but it gave you some important information. I hope you aren't too lost!

Warnings are death, violence, and language.

Credits for Anju go to Tiny. Wow, there were three characters in this chapter and two of them were mine. I'm surprised.

My Review

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Featured Review

Sorry that my reviews are so... monologue-y.

I like these recaps at the beginning of each chapter! It's like telling two stories at once, which can be a very successful method of suspense writing. It's like we only get a little bit each time, creating more suspense as the previous amount is relieved. I get the feeling that she has similar amnesia to Od, perhaps her sub conscience knows more than her waking mind about Ithaca.

I was excited that Lance found a job! Though, I worry about his condition. Of course, since I actually DO work in a factory, I know it's not the worst place for a crazy person, heh. I feel like I can relate a lot to this, because both of them are so true to life, I've felt Lance's excitement many times, though Anju is in the right to be down to earth about his aspirations.

I'm curious to see why Lance is so reserved about her book on Ithaca. Obviously, his age has resulted in the same morals instilled in his youth (a time where women stayed home and bore children) though he'd obviously not misogynistic. The thought of him being annoyed by her looking up his people's history his tossed up a red flag for me.

Your historical recollections were very vivid, feeling real. You've put a lot of time, thought, and likely research into them (I'm not sure if Ithaca and Atoka are real places). The image you painted was very good, if they are fictitious, they FELT real. I'm really nervous about the fact that Spoorn is immortal, because as of this moment he seems like a pretty intimidating bad guy. The concept of immortals having individual weakness is good too, removing that 'god mod' feel and carrying the species depth a bit further.

Other suggestions:
None



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

“repeatedly thrust into her back in various places.” If its repeatedly its already clear it’s in various places no need to specify.

There are definitely less repetitions, I saw no literal ones just a few narrational, still you should try to get rid of them all. (ex: where she’s thinking of Spoorn attending his funeral)

A small exposition on nation history might be a good idea but try not to go over 10nish lines. Think of other, more subtle ways to present the story.

You should work on the part where her weakness is revealed. It seems kind of forced as it is now. (Also try to avoid coincidences)

Overall your story and style really does improve with every following chapter, keep up the good work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sorry that my reviews are so... monologue-y.

I like these recaps at the beginning of each chapter! It's like telling two stories at once, which can be a very successful method of suspense writing. It's like we only get a little bit each time, creating more suspense as the previous amount is relieved. I get the feeling that she has similar amnesia to Od, perhaps her sub conscience knows more than her waking mind about Ithaca.

I was excited that Lance found a job! Though, I worry about his condition. Of course, since I actually DO work in a factory, I know it's not the worst place for a crazy person, heh. I feel like I can relate a lot to this, because both of them are so true to life, I've felt Lance's excitement many times, though Anju is in the right to be down to earth about his aspirations.

I'm curious to see why Lance is so reserved about her book on Ithaca. Obviously, his age has resulted in the same morals instilled in his youth (a time where women stayed home and bore children) though he'd obviously not misogynistic. The thought of him being annoyed by her looking up his people's history his tossed up a red flag for me.

Your historical recollections were very vivid, feeling real. You've put a lot of time, thought, and likely research into them (I'm not sure if Ithaca and Atoka are real places). The image you painted was very good, if they are fictitious, they FELT real. I'm really nervous about the fact that Spoorn is immortal, because as of this moment he seems like a pretty intimidating bad guy. The concept of immortals having individual weakness is good too, removing that 'god mod' feel and carrying the species depth a bit further.

Other suggestions:
None



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, this one really kept me reading. It's intense, and well yeah, that type of stuff. Star Wolf is right, it did have some strange and mysterious things going on, but the chapter was really good.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This story is captivating...such strange and mysterious goings on!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This chapter was very intense. Now I wonder what's going to happen with Spoorn and Anju. I have a feeling something will. I'll have to read more to see if I'm right or not. Very interesting book you have here.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I found this chapter to be very interesting. And it was easy to read. I think it had important info in it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Added on June 11, 2011
Last Updated on June 11, 2011
Tags: If Everyone Cared, Immortality


Author

PyroKitty24
PyroKitty24

Toledo, OH



About
Hey, I'm Crystal. Writing was something I've always done in my freetime, and once I discovered this site and used it for a while I decided I want to focus more on my writing skills. Please review my w.. more..

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