Thursday

Thursday

A Chapter by PyroKitty24
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Finally, the meeting between Spoorn and Anju

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Anju had a hard time sleeping Wednesday night, so she woke up rather early on Thursday. It was unusual for her to be the first one up. She was never the first one up. She gloated in her triumph for a moment or two before going into the bathroom and taking a shower. After she had gotten fully ready for the day, she moved into the kitchen and decided to make breakfast for the family. She loved all of Lance’s children, but she felt like they hated her for replacing their mom. So she tried to do little things around the house, such as feed them, to make them happy.

Anju decided to make some bacon. She found a package in the freezer and gave it a moment to thaw as she got the other tools ready. When she was ready for it, she opened the package and dumped the bacon onto the frying pan. Soon, she had a nice plateful of bacon. It looked like enough for everyone in the house. Would they be happy with just bacon, though? Anju figured they wouldn’t, so she got out a few pieces of bread and put them in the toaster, as well as a few eggs. She started to scramble the eggs and refresh the bread in the toaster as it finished. Finally, she had a bowl of scrambled eggs, a plate of bacon, and a plate of toast sitting on the table. Anju sat down herself and started to eat before anyone else got up. When she finished, she called, “Food’s done! I’m going out!”

Anju squinted in the bright sunlight when she opened the front door. She walked out and closed the door behind her, making sure it shut tightly. She slowly walked back to the graveyard that she had been in the day before. She couldn’t believe that she was going to spend the day with Spoorn. She had hated Spoorn! He had stolen her children and put them into an Army Work Camp! When she had disguised herself as a soldier and freed all of the prisoners, he had found her and almost killed her. Yet, she had brought him back to life. She felt sorry for him. Was that why she was going today? Anju really wasn’t sure. Her emotions were tangled right now, and she couldn’t tell them apart.

When she made it to the graveyard, she almost didn’t even see Spoorn. Then she noticed him kneeling in a bush a little ways away. She quietly approached and kneeled down next to him.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

The simple question scared the army general, causing him to jump. He stared at Anju with wide eyes, and after recognizing the girl, he sighed and muttered, “Shh! Look!”

He went back to peering through the bushes, and after a moment’s hesitation Anju joined him. There, in front of Spoorn’s empty grave, was a burly looking man with a scratch across his left eye and a cigarette sitting idly between two fingers. He was staring down at Spoorn’s grave with a slight frown on his face. He was obviously thinking pretty hard, and by the looks of the man, that was something he didn’t do often.

Anju leaned back so she couldn’t be seen if the man looked up. She gave Spoorn a tap on his side, and he looked back to peer at her.

“Hn?” Spoorn grunted quietly, his eyes turning back to gaze through the bush again.

“I know him!” Anju gasped, surprised, “Right? He was the second in command at your work camp!”

“Yeah, he sure was. That b*****d is Colonial Sketch. Dunno if that’s his first or last name, it’s just what everyone called him. We got along pretty good when I was alive. The day I died, though, he didn’t f*****g show up to help me like a good second would have! How dare he show his face here!” Spoorn complained.

“He was at your funeral too. He probably feels bad about that.” Anju said. She couldn’t see Sketch feeling bad about anything, though. Hours before Anju had destroyed the camp, Sketch had tried to rape Mayella, Lance’s oldest daughter. Anju had managed to catch him and had beaten him on the head with a chair until he blacked out. Honestly, she had been fairly sure he had died in her raid. She was rather disappointed to see him still living, but at least she didn’t feel like a murderer. No, that was Lance’s old career. She wanted nothing to do with killing if she could help it.

“Shh! He’s talking!” Spoorn whispered in such a low voice that Anju could barely make out what he had said. She leaned forward, though, and parted a branch to see what was going on.

Sketch had taken a long drag of his cigarette, and she watched as he tossed it to the ground and stepped on it. He squashed it underneath the heel of his boots before picking it up again and tossing it at a nearby trash can. Anju thought it was nice to know that he didn’t litter. He only tried to rape innocent eighteen year old girls. Spoorn had said he had been speaking, but Anju had completely missed it. She wasn’t sure he would say anything else, but just as she was about to suggest the theory to Spoorn, Sketch bent down so he was squatting in front of Spoorn’s grave for a better view.

“Hey buddy,” he said, his voice deep like Spoorn’s but not sharp, “I thought I’d come back and keep you some company today. I was here yesterday too. I met your family! Nice kids. Your wife seemed pretty, uhm, alright? She was hot though. Going for looks instead of personality! That’s the General I knew!”

A look of pride passed over Sketch’s face, and Spoorn looked as if he was going to beat his head against the ground out of the peer stupidity rolling off of his former companion in waves.

Sketch continued, “Anyway, I guess I wanted to say I’m sorry for not being there for you. You know, Seconds are supposed to defend their commanders! But see, I was kind of sleeping at the time. I totally didn’t even know what was going on when I woke up! The place was like destroyed and no one was there. It wasn’t like that when I went to sleep! At first I thought I was dreaming, but then I was like, ‘No, the General wouldn’t have let me sleep long enough to dream. Something must’ve happened.’ And then, like, I guess I just left and walked until I found someone. That was when I found out that the only bodies they hadn’t recovered were me and you, and well, I guess I was the only one to come back.”

Anju could feel Spoorn’s anger from where she sat crouched in the bush. She thought Sketch actually looked really sad though. His apology was obviously sincere, but Spoorn had ended up dying because of his stupidity. She didn’t blame him for being angry. She sat back and crawled out of the bush, and a few moments later Spoorn followed her.

Before Anju could say anything, he held a finger up to her lips and told her, “Watch this.” Anju was going to advise him against whatever he was going to do, but Spoorn was already standing up and walking through the foliage to get to Sketch. With a sigh, Anju crawled back into the bush to see what was going on.

Spoorn stood on the other side of his grave, just past the line of foliage Anju was hiding behind. Sketch didn’t notice him at first. It took the scarred man a few seconds to notice another person standing there. When he did, he gave a slight head inclination in greeting before going back to mourning. Then he seemed to realize who he had just seen. Sketch jumped up and stared wide eyed at Spoorn.

“G-General Spoorn?” he gasped, “I thought you were dead!”

Sketch then seemed to take in Spoorn’s appearance. The former general had changed clothes since his death, but he still wore his blood-stained army jacket on top of his outfit. Sketch had seen that jacket many times, and because of the new stains of blood he came to a different conclusion.

“No! You are dead! You’ve come back to haunt me because I let you down!” Sketch exclaimed. He suddenly dropped down to his knees and clasped his hands together in a pleading position.

“Please forgive me, commander! I let you down, I know! I’m so sorry!” Sketch cried out. The burly man actually looked like he was about to burst into tears as well. That was something Anju hadn’t expected.

Spoorn took a step closer to Sketch so he was now standing directly on the other side of the tombstone. He stared down at Sketch, causing the younger man to shiver in fear.

“Do you want to make it up to me?” Spoorn asked in the most intimidating voice he could muster, which wasn’t that different from his usual tone.

Sketch nodded his head vigorously. He was determined even though he was scared.

“Then go fetch me a bottle of champagne, a blanket, and a picnic basket full of food!” Spoorn demanded.

Sketch gave Spoorn a questioning look and murmured, “What kind of food?”

Spoorn replied angrily, “Any kind! Don’t question me! Just hurry, you have an hour!”

“Yes Sir!” Sketch said, jumping up and saluting his former commander before running off.

Spoorn watched the colonial leave before walking back through the bushes to be with Anju. She had already gone back into the clearing by the time he got there. She had a smile on her face as he approached.

“I see how it is,” Anju commented, “you hadn’t planned at all and saw this as an opportunity to fix your mistake.”

“Ha, yeah. Pretty much,” was Spoorn’s reply. He wore a wide smirk across his face. He was obviously very proud of the work he had done.

Sketch returned in a little over sixty minutes. Spoorn and Anju had just sat in the clearing and talked for the hour, so it seemed to go by very quickly. Admittedly, Anju was relieved when Sketch came back. She was starting to get hungry. Even though she didn’t need food as an immortal, it didn’t stop the fact that her body yearned for it and she had hunger pains if she didn’t eat.

Sketch placed the requested items in front of the tombstone cautiously. He looked around, but didn’t see Spoorn. “I brought what you asked for, General!” he called out, but Spoorn still sat in the middle of the clearing next to Anju. After a few minutes, Sketch awkwardly turned and walked away. He looked over his shoulder a few times before completely disappearing. Once he thought Sketch was gone, Spoorn went over to his grave and retrieved the basket, blanket, and bottle of champagne. He brought them back into the clearing for Anju. He set everything down, then grabbed the blanket and spread it out. He sat down on it, invited Anju to sit with him, and picked up the picnic basket and bottle and put them in the middle of the blanket.

Anju eagerly sat down on the blanket with Spoorn and opened the basket. The food inside looked as if it had been bought at a convenience store. It was all wrapped or in boxes, but that didn’t bother Anju. Food was food. Besides, she had never really been the type of girl to enjoy fancy things. She reached into the basket and grabbed a bag of Oreo cookies while Spoorn opened the bottle of champagne.

Anju found she had more to talk about when she had a full belly, and even Spoorn seemed in a better mood. She was really enjoying herself for the first time in a very long time. Lance had never done anything like this for her before, though, of course he had tried to make her happy. She couldn’t give Spoorn all of the credit, though. He had had nothing planned until Sketch happened to come along. Then Anju realized what she was doing. She was cheating on her fiancé. She was on a date with another man. A man she had hated up until yesterday. She was rather angry with herself for doing this, but at the same time she was glad she had gotten to enjoy herself. She was always so busy with the children and her school work that she had no time for fun. Anju also felt a little guilty, but she tried not to focus on that at the moment.

“Hey,” Spoorn asked, “What’s wrong with you?”

Anju jumped a little at Spoorn’s sudden question. His gruff voice had burst her thoughts like a thorn could burst a bubble.

“Just thinking.” She responded with a fake smile. Normally she would be mad when someone questioned her. She found it weird how she had tried to feign happiness instead.

Spoorn only shrugged at her response. He took a swig from the champagne bottle, since they had no glasses, and then handed it out to Anju. She wasn’t a big fan of alcohol, but she took the bottle anyway. She tipped it into her mouth, only taking a small drink before handing it back to Spoorn. He took it and easily finished it off. Anju thought it was funny that he didn’t appear at all effected by having finished the whole bottle almost completely by himself. Then again, she kind of expected that from Spoorn. He was such an odd guy. But, Anju realized, that was what she liked about him.

“So, you’re getting married in a few days.” Spoorn suddenly said. Anju noticed it wasn’t a question, but a statement. She had shared this information with him earlier. She just nodded her head. “Well, you know,” Spoorn added, “Instead, you could always come with me. I don’t know where I’m gonna go, but it could be like an adventure! Don’t you think that sounds fun?”

Anju was surprised by his offer. She knew her face must have been radiating the shock, because Spoorn looked down at the ground and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

“Oh, it does sound fun,” Anju agreed, “But I can’t just leave Lance and the kids. Besides, I would have to take Soren with me. He wouldn’t like just wandering.”

Spoorn looked up and met her gaze. He had a determined look on his face, and Anju was partially dreading whatever was coming next.

He told her, “Well, see, I guess that’s not really what I meant. I was really trying to say. Hn. Why don’t you ditch Lance and come live with me? We can move away and find a nice place, and Soren can come too.”

If Anju could have picked one moment in her life she wanted to avoid, this would be the one. She felt extremely awkward. She didn’t know what to say to Spoorn. She really did love Lance, and all of his children, but she had been having doubts this past week. She wasn’t sure if Lance really loved her, or if he loved that she took care of his kids for her and looked a lot like his former wife, Emmy. Then she found Spoorn again yesterday, and knew she would end up regretting coming back today. But something had made her come back. It was something about Spoorn. She was really starting to enjoy his company. She didn’t know what to think about that.

“Oh…Spoorn…” Anju muttered.

“E.J.” Spoorn interrupted her, “You can call me E.J. you know, if you want to.”

“Ah. E.J. You’re asking me to break up with my fiancé, whom I am about to marry in three days, to come live with you? You want me to leave everything I know behind for you?” Anju continued.

Spoorn was silent for a moment or two before finally answering, “Yeah. Pretty much.”

Anju frowned. She was about to respond when suddenly Spoorn had pulled her closer to him and forced his lips on top of hers. This man just continued to surprise her tonight. Anju also found that she was surprising herself a lot tonight as well. Every rational part of her brain was telling her to pull away from Spoorn. She had to completely deny him. She was getting married to the love of her life in three days, after all! But her heart wanted to stay in his arms and let the kiss continue. Her heart wanted to take him up on his offer and move away with him to start a new life. Honestly, she just wasn’t sure what to do anymore.



© 2011 PyroKitty24


Author's Note

PyroKitty24
Well, honestly, after Sketch left I gave up. Sorry Tiny. Hope it suited you anyway.

Credits for Anju and Sketch go to my bishie Tiny.

Warnings for this chapter are for talk of rape, making out, and cussing. You know. The things I do best.

My Review

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Featured Review

It’s interesting to get another scope into Anju’s life at home; she’s only twenty, yet she has so many kids to look after (many of which don’t fully appreciate her). She’s a very strong, coping with it all. Though, I’m not surprised that she is seeking other outlets, such as Spoorn.

There’s an interesting dynamic to Sketch. There’s a strict juxtaposition between what Anju and Spoorn say about him, compared to how he behaves. They speak of his disloyalty and cruelty, but he acts very submissive, emotional, and obedient. I wonder if there’s a little more to the story for him. I feel like part of this story moves a little bit too quickly, such as Spoorn asking her to go with him. The event would be more impacting if we had more time with him, maybe another chapter or two for more build up.

I like that the nature of Lance and Anju’s relationship was mentioned here. She has herself in a tight situation, and finally seems to acknowledge it (the house wife-esque life). I too wondered about Lance, and whether or not he was taking advantage of her maternal instincts. Spoorn telling Anju his real name felt like an open hand, and Spoorn lowering his guard to her. If her love for Lance isn’t genuine, then I can see how she would want to take that offer.


Other suggestions:

-“I thought I’d come back and keep you some company today…” This dialog is a little awkward to read. I’d say just ‘keep you company’ or ‘give you some company.’

‘She was rather angry with herself for doing this, but at the same time she was glad she had gotten to enjoy herself.’ – there’s another sentence like this in this paragraph. The reader craves more after you mention that she’s angry or guilty. I would take a few sentences to describe this feeling a little more.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

And the return of the repetitions. You should fix that, especially the beginning paragraphs.

Also try not to tell us all of her emotions but instead show us some of them instead.

“When she made it to the graveyard, she almost didn’t even see Spoorn. Then she noticed him kneeling in a bush a little ways away. She quietly approached and kneeled down next to him.” Repetition + wording, fix that paragraph, it doesn’t flow as smooth as you’d like.

“and by the looks of the man, that was something he didn’t do often.” How do you know that? Why must we believe you? Give a bit more description or show us the reason he doesn’t look in such a way. Now if he didn’t look the type simply to her that’s a different issue. But there’s just not enough description for the reader to make this conclusion, also you want the reader to make conclusions about the characters not just the protagonist. Often the protagonist’s opinions differ than the readers; and try to avoid pushing the protagonists onto the reader. Meh, I hope I expressed myself clearly enough.

“stepped on it. He squashed it underneath the heel of his boots” - repetition. Just remove “stepped on in” and you’ll be fine.
“the peer stupidity” interesting description. Not sure what’s supposed to mean in this context though.

Also I see, Spoorn noting the second should have been there for him, then Anju commenting he probably regretted not doing so and then Sketch actually saying so… as a repetition. Be more subtle through actions and expression, or just skip the first two altogether.

Honestly I can’t really see their relationship unravelling. You are telling it does but rarely showing. I don’t intend to harp but do try to reduce exposition. Also it’s a bit too fast.

Anyways overall it was nice, it had some action, quite a bit of development and finally introduction of issues.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Some romancing going on. Now Anju has a little problem in her life. Torn between two men. This is really good. Its very engaging and interesting.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It’s interesting to get another scope into Anju’s life at home; she’s only twenty, yet she has so many kids to look after (many of which don’t fully appreciate her). She’s a very strong, coping with it all. Though, I’m not surprised that she is seeking other outlets, such as Spoorn.

There’s an interesting dynamic to Sketch. There’s a strict juxtaposition between what Anju and Spoorn say about him, compared to how he behaves. They speak of his disloyalty and cruelty, but he acts very submissive, emotional, and obedient. I wonder if there’s a little more to the story for him. I feel like part of this story moves a little bit too quickly, such as Spoorn asking her to go with him. The event would be more impacting if we had more time with him, maybe another chapter or two for more build up.

I like that the nature of Lance and Anju’s relationship was mentioned here. She has herself in a tight situation, and finally seems to acknowledge it (the house wife-esque life). I too wondered about Lance, and whether or not he was taking advantage of her maternal instincts. Spoorn telling Anju his real name felt like an open hand, and Spoorn lowering his guard to her. If her love for Lance isn’t genuine, then I can see how she would want to take that offer.


Other suggestions:

-“I thought I’d come back and keep you some company today…” This dialog is a little awkward to read. I’d say just ‘keep you company’ or ‘give you some company.’

‘She was rather angry with herself for doing this, but at the same time she was glad she had gotten to enjoy herself.’ – there’s another sentence like this in this paragraph. The reader craves more after you mention that she’s angry or guilty. I would take a few sentences to describe this feeling a little more.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting chapter. Very well written though! Thanks so much for the read request!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The guy sure knows how to get what he wants from people. Excellent storytelling.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very entertaining chapter, I really enjoyed it. It was a big surprise at the end. I hope Anju goes with Spoorn, she doesn't seem very happy with her life with Lance and his kids.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 16, 2011
Last Updated on July 26, 2011
Tags: If Everyone Cared, Immortality


Author

PyroKitty24
PyroKitty24

Toledo, OH



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Hey, I'm Crystal. Writing was something I've always done in my freetime, and once I discovered this site and used it for a while I decided I want to focus more on my writing skills. Please review my w.. more..

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