Weird Writers Prompt #1

You know the phrase,

"Like stealing candy from a baby,"

Here is my twist.

 

John Harnimon was hungry.  There was never one time when he didn't get the munchies from his bong.  He didn't get it.

And tonight it was bad.  He had an uncontrollable urge for either potatoes or chocolate.  His rundown apartment was filled with candy wrappers.  Snickers, Twix, Butterfinger and Reese's were scattered everywhere. 

He left his apartment, to go and talk to 5D.  He never knew anyone's name, couldn't remember.  He was so stoned that stepping from his carpet to the linoleum in the hallway, was like falling down.

He usually couldn't get his hands on the good stuff, but he knew a guy who knew another guy.  You almost always do when you're a pothead. 

When he managed to stumble over to 5d's door, he knocked three times.  No one answered, but the door opened.  Not caring, due to the Purple Haze that was surging through his mind,  he walked in. 

He saw almost immediatly that no one was home.  The only sound in the apartment was a distinct sound of movement in the room next to him.

In the room next to him was a crib.  In the crib there was a baby.  It looked like a boy, but John was to buzzed to care.

He saw the chocolate.

He saw the baby holding it in his fragile little fingers.

The munchies were stronger than ever.

The baby held his/her hands up to him.

John had taken the chocolate from the baby.  Now back in his own room, he thought about what he did.  He thought about how cruel of an act he did.

His stomach growled and rumbled.

And John suddenly didn't care.

The kings size Butterfinger was like a piece of heaven.  The peanut better was so good it could've caused an orgasm.  But that was the weed talking. 

After he ate his yummylicious chocolate bar, he went into the bedroom.  He sat on the bed, remembering the baby boy/girls face.  He remembered the wail the baby made when the candy was taken from its grasp.

The door was kicked down, almost breaking in half, by a 6'5 man.  He had a look of animalistic rage on his face.

John looked up in disbelieve as the tall, apelike man before him started to scream.

"Where's my baby candybar.  Where is it, what did you do with you sonavabitch."

He sturck John across the face with a right hook.  John fell back, his buzz immediatly killed.  He tried to stand up, and defend himself, but by the time he was on his knees, the mans steel tipped boes connected with his ribs.

John stayed where he was put, bleeding and defeated.  He would take his beating, he knew he had deserved it.  

The man kicked John three more times, and then spoke,

"To steal candy from a baby is a sin worthy of death."

With that the tall assailant had curb-stomped John, smashing his head into Hamburger Helper. 

Author's Note

Don't ask where i got this from

Reviews

[Cassiopia Summers]

Hamburger helper, delicious. Lol. (: Great twist Dear.

[Jane Doe]

ewwwww hamburger helper LOL
LOVVVEEE IIIITTTT THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-abbie

[Cafe Reader]

Very cool, very different! I like it!

[H-Jonesy]

.....Huh....
Strange indeed. Interesting none the less!

[Deviant Works]

Ha Ha! Hamburger helper. Very entertaining and really messed up.:) Like nothing I have ever read which made it good even though he is a candy snatching thief. Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger.:) Poor baby.

[N. C. Matthews]

The whole time this guys was thinking about the chocolate bar and how great it tasted, I fully expected that in the end the pothead would have been tripping/halucinating and the "chocolate" was really a little baby t**d. But getting his head bashed in was pretty different too.

[Paradoxical]

Kind of random, and a big weird... but cool. I like the ending, great job!

[Rayne~Drop.]

...Huh....Interesting...Weird on so many levels...Yet its funny, I guess, to me because of my sick and twisted sense of humor...Still...Liked it regardless. XD

[Ashley.M.E]

Hmm, aparently you want to steal from a baby after making sure the father is smaller then you? Or how about not doing drugs, then it probably wouldn't happen. *Shrugs* and entertaining read if nothing else.

[nono]

Why not ask were you got it from? lol It's interesting, and quite random it wasn't bad. I got a laugh out of it. Nice job! Keep up the great work!