Chapter Seven: Truth (Again)

Chapter Seven: Truth (Again)

Emma had gone to the creek with Minerva. She had helplessly watched her drown. That was Emma’s truth.

I thought that she had surely known the ice was too thin. It also just seemed strange that Minerva had drowned, given the depth, or lack thereof, of the water. Given the threat Emma had made toward me, it wasn’t hard to piece together what had really happened. What mattered then, as I lay shivering next to her was the why. I had figured out how.

I don’t know how long we laid there, only that the sun was painting the sky in vivid colors before we climbed out of the freezing earth. The whole ceremony seemed confusing to me until Jack turned to Emma and told her to explain how things were to be now. I was to be their daughter in every way. Name, behavior, everything I did was to be like Minerva. I was stunned into silence. I thought that I’d dreamt up all the reasons they hadn’t killed me yet, but now I understood. It was so much more disturbing than any reason I’d had.

A week passed without a traveler, and then another. Jack and Emma grew tense and I had to watch my step more often. Now that the truth was out in the open, Jack was inclined to dole out punishment for any little misstep. Finally another traveler showed up. I never thought I’d be grateful that another human being had to die, but I knew that it was him or me. I actually relished watching him eat his last supper. At the very least, I was filled with relief.

I went to my room that night, dreaming of ways to perfect my Minerva act. Then it hit me: I was actually taking part in the brutal slaughter of innocent humans. What’s worse was that I enjoyed it. I had lain next to a corpse.  I dropped to my knees and began to retch.

Emma ran into the room carrying a large bucket.  She gingerly moved my hair out of the way, the way a mother would. Her touch sickened me all the more. I finally recovered, empty stomach still heaving and tremendous sobs wracking my body. She placed the bucket next to my bed and led me to bed. From the bookshelf she chose a children’s story and began to read.

Despite the nature of the book, I was lulled into a trance by her words. Her voice began to soothe me to my core. In seconds she rolled me onto my side, facing the bucket and began to massage my back, working out the kinks. I told her that it must have been supper, which I accidentally tasted. She reprimanded me for several minutes, then resumed her massaging. When I tried to squirm away she clamped a steely hand on my shoulder. What she said next, I’ll never forget.

Emma admitted to killing Minerva. She said that Minerva had discovered things she shouldn’t have and she was no longer her parent’s innocent angel, and that was why she had threatened me too. She regretted both offenses deeply, but was glad that I was there to help fill the void. She told me she loved me. Next she kissed my forehead and told me goodnight. A monster like that shouldn’t be capable of love. Someone who can kill her own child, then abduct someone to take her place, all while killing multiple people on the side is a monster, plain and simple.

A monster that day by day, I was closer to becoming. I knew what I had done and did not regret it. It was necessary for my own survival. As cruel as it seems, it was always them or me. I chose myself. Every time. Innocent or not, I was willing to trade anything to survive.

Minerva became an extension of myself. I was aware of how she would react in every situation. Her presence defined my very existence. Jane ceased to exist, even to my own mind. I was the only one who really knew my real name. To Jack and Emma, from that first day on the road, I had been Minerva. I was Minerva in appearance and behavior, name and all.