Chapter Three

Jake and Chace take it upon the themselves to tell Zach about Ryan...

June 24, 2008

 

Zach

            I had been pretty bummed when my parents announced our move to Texas.  I mean, it’s not like moving is new to me, this most recent move being the third in as many years.  But I had just begun to enjoy sunny California with my baseball team when my parents dropped the bomb on me.  I had a lot of friends there, and I was pretty upset.     However, Dad had been offered a huge raise if we moved to Texas.  And while we’re not poor, the extra money would be appreciated.  Of course, most importantly, there was a special school here in this area for my youngest brother, Christian.

            Christian’s autistic, and even though I love him, sometimes it’s like he’s all Mom cares about.  Mom used to be a lawyer, but when Chris was born she stopped working.  Now she’s a stay-at-home mom and takes care of Chris 24/7.

            I was happy in California.  My nine year old brother Alex was happy in California.  Dad was happy in California.  Mom was too, but there was no school there for seven-year-old Christian.  So really, if you came down to it, we were moving because of him.

            Alex and I really hadn’t wanted to move, and I guess we were both a little resentful.  Why did we have to move because of Chris?  I  But of course, Dad had won us over.  He’d promised that he’d find me a select team and Alex a competitive rec league.  He also said that we wouldn’t move until both of us were done with high school.  So we agreed, if a little reluctantly.

            Now, I was glad we had.  Rocky had a huge yard all to himself, and Alex, Christian and I each had our own room.  Our house was pretty big, and the backyard had a saltwater pool.  Dad had splurged.  And I had already made some friends.  To top it all off, I had been asked to join a select team right away!  Dad was real excited, because he was the one that got me started on baseball in the first place.  (Imagine his initial excitement when he realized that not only did I enjoy playing, I was good, too!)

            Mom was thrilled too-she doesn’t really get baseball, but she knows how important it is to me, Dad, and Alex (Alex plays too; he’s way beyond most of the kids his age…). 

            The only thing is, there’s this girl on my new team.  She’s really good; a lot better than some guys I’ve seen.  But I swear she hates me.  I don’t even know what I said!  But I’ll just look on the bright side.  The second baseman, his name is Jake, is pretty cool.  He gave me his cell phone number and said we should hang out before practice.  I guess I’ll head over to the community park around four.

 

 

Jake

            ‘4 sound good?’  I glanced at the text message flashing on my phone. 

            ‘Ya c u there’, I typed, then sent the message. 

            I had asked Zach to meet me at the park; I wanted to explain about Ryan.  It would’ve been good to have Chace with me, but when I asked him to tag along, he flatly refused: “No.  I can’t.  I know it’s been a year, but it’s too soon.  You’ll do just as well.”  I didn’t press the matter. 

            Of the three of us, me, Maddi, and Chace, Chace has the hardest time talking about Ryan.  I think it’s partly because he had known Ryan the longest.  And then, he was the one who found him on the trail.  For a while after the funeral, Chace just sort of shut down.  We all grieved differently.  He stopped talking.  Maddi cried and was really emotional.  I figured with both of them so close to a mental breakdown, I had to stay strong.  So I tried to act normal, and for the most part, I think I did.  When I was alone, I would sometimes cry, but around other people, I was pretty much myself.  So when Chace declined to come, I let him be.

            Peeking at the clock on my laptop, I sank back into my chair.  Already 2:40, and I hadn’t a clue how to explain Ryan to my new teammate.  The silence in my house was deafening.  Dad was at work, and Mom was somewhere out of the house, so I was alone.  I usually was during the summer. 

            It wasn’t like I could just say, “Yeah, the reason I asked you to meet me here in the park was so I could tell you about our dead teammate that got killed in a drive-by.”  No, that wouldn’t do.

            Frustrated, I banged my laptop’s keyboard.  The Word document that was up shut down and I groaned.  It hadn’t been saved.  Then I saw the picture on my desktop background.  It was the same one that had been there for over a year.  It showed me, Chace, Maddi, and Ryan after winning the last tournament Ryan ever played in.

            In the snapshot, I had my arms around Ryan and Chace’s shoulders.  On Chace’s other side, Maddi had her arm around him as well, and with her other hand, she held up the trophy we had won.  My head was thrown back in laughter and Chace’s grin was carefree.  Maddi’s face was animated, happy; she was saying something to us.  And the smile on Ryan’s face was the familiar one that we knew so well.  His grey eyes sparkled with joy.  And just like that, I could almost hear Ryan’s voice again.  “Guys, this is it!  We’re regional champs.  State Tournament, here we come!”  He had been so excited.  And he hadn’t lived long enough to experience it for himself. 

            I felt a pang of grief and closed my eyes briefly, trying to compose myself.  Then, it hit me.  I had tons of pictures on my laptop of Ryan and the rest of our team.  I could use them to tell his story.  Except I didn’t think I could do this alone.

 

Chace

            I was feeling a little guilty about telling Jake to tell Zach about Ryan by himself.  I would do it, but… I don’t think I could.  I want to be able to talk about Ryan, be able to remember him without feeling the terrible sadness I always did whenever he came up in conversation.  But Jake will be just fine.  He’ll manage.  I hope.

            I looked at my watch.  3:00.  I knew Jake was planning to meet Zach at the community park at 4:00.  He had sent me a text letting me know the time, if I changed my mind and decided to come.  Maybe…  Maybe I would go.  I wouldn’t have to talk; Jake could handle that.  It would probably be good for me to be there.  But…  Somehow, I just couldn’t make myself go.

            “Chace!”  My mom was calling from downstairs. 

            “What?”  I shouted back, rising from my bed, where I had been lying. 

            “Jake’s here!” she responded. 

            I was surprised; we hadn’t been planning to get together today. 

            “Come on up, Jake,” I called. 

            He was soon at my door, wearing his RedHawks cap and holding his laptop.  “Hey,” he greeted me, a little sheepishly. 

            I raised my eyebrows at him and asked, “What’s up?”  In answer, Jake set his laptop on my bed and turned it on.  Hitting a few keys, he pulled up some pictures.  He announced, “This is how we’re going to explain Ryan to Zach.”  My friend handed the laptop to me.

            Slowly, as if through a fog, I scrolled through the photos.  Ryan, standing at third.  Ryan, grinning, with his arm around my shoulder.  Ryan, laughing and sitting between Maddi and Jake in the dugout.  I clearly saw Jake’s idea.  You could tell stories through pictures, and here was Ryan’s story, ready to be told. 

            Looking at the pictures, I hesitated.  Jake smiled sadly at me.  “Chace-man,” he whispered, using my nickname, “You can’t just remember that one day.  You have to remember the good times, too.  There were so many of those.  Did you forget them all?  Don’t.” 

            Those simple words pierced me.  I looked him squarely in the eye and nodded.  A grin spread over his face and he gave me a high-five.  “There’s the Chace we’ve been missing!”

            I tried to smile, but found that I couldn’t.  “I don’t think I can talk about it.”  Jake shrugged and put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. 

            “That’s all right.  Baby steps.  Just come and listen.” 

            Only a little reluctantly, I agreed.

 

Zach

            When I got to the park, I looked for Jake.  Not seeing him, I pulled out my cell phone and texted, ‘where r u’. 

            A few seconds later, a reply came: ‘we r under the oak trees @ 1 of the picnic tables’.  Sure enough, when I caught sight of the picnic tables, Jake was waving at me.  To my surprise, Chace was there too.  I mean, I didn’t mind, but Jake had said that he probably didn’t want to come.

            Walking over to them, I called, “Hey, guys!”  Chace smiled at me, but he looked a little upset. 

            Jake replied, distractedly, “Hey…”  He was bent over a laptop; I assumed it was his.  Chace leaned forward, looking at the screen. 

            “No, not that folder.  The next one,” he murmured softly to Jake.  Jake nodded at him, then finally thought to look up at me. 

            “Come sit down, Zach.  Glad you came, cause me and Chace need to tell you something.”  Chace cleared his throat. 

            Jake corrected himself.  “All right.  I need to tell you something.  He’s here for moral support and because I…  I didn’t think I would be able to do it if I was alone.”  His voice nearly broke on the last few words.

            Now I was somewhat concerned.  Obviously, this wasn’t going to be your average get-together at the community park. 

            Jake took a deep breath and started, “Have you noticed anything different about our team?” 

            I actually had.  A good team of any kind, be it baseball or chess, has an undercurrent of energy running through it.  Each individual member contributes to the overall feeling of the team.  It sometimes amazes me how different every team is.  I’ve played on three different select teams, not including this one.  The first one I played on kind of sucked.  There was no drive to win.  The second team I played on was too intense; they only thought about winning.  Their attitude was basically “Screw fun, we’re in it to win it and nothing less”.  My team in California was real great.  They were really positive and we were a good team.

            The RedHawks, now, they were good, too.  Positive and optimistic.  But from only one practice, I could already tell that this team was different.  Yeah, they seemed to have fun, and yeah, there was energy pulsing throughout the whole practice.  But there was also something else, like something was bothering them.  I had just written it off as them getting used to my playing style.  Maybe not, though. 

            I replied, “Well, yeah, I did kinda notice… It was like you were uncomfortable.  I thought it was because you weren’t used to how I played…”

            “No,” said Jake, “It wasn’t that.  It’s always like that.  It’s been like that since July 5^th of last year.”  Chace, who had been listening intently, suddenly turned away.

            Jake took off his cap and showed the side of it to me.  The number 12 was stitched on it in white thread.  Softly, he said, “Do you know what it means when a person wears a number not their own on their cap?  Or on their sleeve?”

            I did.  “To honor someone…”  I answered.

            He closed his eyes and said tiredly, “Twelve was Ryan’s number.  We wear it to honor him, always.” 

            Turning the laptop screen to me, he showed me a picture.  It featured three boys and a girl, about Christian’s age.  I recognized a younger Chace and Jake, and the redheaded girl could only be Maddi.  The other boy I had never seen.  He had dark brown hair, grey eyes, and a friendly but crooked smile. 

            Chace said abruptly, “We were eight when we took that picture.  We were eight when we met.  He had a good arm even then.”  And I knew that Chace was talking about Ryan, not Jake.

 

Jake

            I had to admit, I was worried about Chace.  I could only imagine how hard this was for him.  I looked at him searchingly.  He met my gaze for a moment, before turning away from me.  He shook his head slightly.  I knew he meant for me to continue; he was fine.  I hesitated anyway.

            “Go on,” he insisted, a little bitterly.

            I did.  “Anyway, when we were eight, I met Chace and Maddi… And Ryan.  Ryan and Chace already knew each other; they were good friends already.  Maddi and I immediately were drawn to them.  I think it was because we were the four best players on the team… We weren’t trying to be snobby or anything, but we always hung out and talked in the dugout.  From that season onwards, we were, like, best friends.  When Chace’s dad, Coach Foster, started a select team when we were ten, we became even closer.” 

            I reached for my laptop, only to find that Chace had already switched pictures.  The one on the screen now was one we had taken after we had won our first tournament as the RedHawks.  I looked at Zach and found a sad smile playing about his mouth.           Chace kept scrolling through photos until the last picture was one the screen.  It was the most recent one, and it was a good one.  We weren’t posing for the camera; my mom had snapped it while we weren’t looking.  We were sitting in the bleachers after the last game, the Regional Championship game.  It had been a long day, and we were all tired.  I was leaning against the back of the bleacher, my head slightly turned towards Chace, on my left.  Chace’s cap was on backwards and his blond hair was tousled and messy.  He was smiling at something.  Ryan, too, was leaning against the back of the bleacher.  His eyes were sparkling, and there was a contented smile on his face.  Maddi’s eyes were closed, and she was leaning against Ryan.  My eyes lingered over Ryan’s face for a fleeting moment before I looked back up at Zach.

            I wasn’t sure what to say next.  I wanted to try to explain how close we were, what good friends we had become.  I glanced at Chace.  He was looking down, his blond hair hanging into his clear blue eyes.  I waited.  He would say something if we waited long enough, and if Zach kept quiet and didn’t ask questions.  Zach’s eyes, startlingly green, just studied the photo on the laptop screen.  He said nothing.

            Finally, as I knew he would, Chace burst out, “He had just turned thirteen.  The State Tournament was in about three weeks.  We were all pumped… The whole summer ahead of us… Eighth grade together…  There was so much ahead of him.  But he went jogging that morning and some damned b******s killed him.  A drive-by.  A damned drive-by.  Just a random act of violence; it happened in less than two seconds, and that was it.  He was dead.” 

            I was surprised.  Chace, of all of us, never cursed.  It was very uncharacteristic of him.  The only other time I had ever heard him cuss was when I called him that morning, after my mom had told me the news.  “Goddammit, Jake.  I don’t want to talk right now.  I can’t talk right now,” he had said that day.

            Zach was silent, a strange mix of horror and anger and distress in his eyes.  But I also glimpsed in his face someone who was used to hardship. 

            Chace, outburst over, put his head in his hands.  I put an arm around Chace’s shoulders.  I would have liked to do more to ease the pain I knew he was feeling, but it was all I could do.

 

Chace

            I hadn’t meant to say that.  It just sort of popped out.  I knew coming was a bad idea.  I should have just stayed home.  Jake put his arm around my shoulders, and I looked up at Zach. 

            “Sorry,” I whispered.  “I didn’t mean to say it like that…”

            He shook his head.  “It’s all right.  I understand.  Well, I guess I don’t really know how you feel, but I can imagine…”

            Jake just patted my back.  In that moment I was just so glad he was my friend.

            The three of us sat there for a few more minutes, then Jake asked us, “Wanna hang at my house for a while before practice?”  Zach looked at his watch, then agreed.  They both looked at me questioningly.

            “All right,” I agreed.  “Let’s go.” 

            Maybe I was crazy, but I felt better.  As if I had been carrying a weight, a burden, and suddenly I was free.  Maybe, just maybe, things were starting to get better.

 

Author's Note

So... What do y'all think of Zach?

Reviews

[Tesh]

Zach has an interesting back story. I wish we could've actually seen these things happening to him as they happened (I hope that makes sense), but that would disrupt the flow of the story. Thus, I think just informing the reader about his family and move was fine. I think it's good to have him know what it's like to have struggle in his life because he can sorta relate to Jake, Chase, and Maddi.

Just one tiny thing jumped out at me, but it's easy to fix ^^: "I But of course, Dad had won us over." I think you don't need the "I."

It was a really good idea to have Jake and Chase show pictures to Zach. As they say, a picture's worth a thousand words.

Keep writing! :D

Tesh : )