Waiting Before Dating

     As a Christian girl, I’ve heard the question “when/what age should I start dating?” more times than I can count. And to be completely honest, that’s what I have been struggling with myself; no, not what age is the ‘magic number’, but when am I, or any other believer, mature enough to make a commitment to another believer and enter the world of dating.

     I think that before one can even delve into the question of when, they must be able to answer what Biblical dating is. Biblical dating is not commonly practiced today; in fact, most people find it foolish. Biblical dating is simply dating with respect and a purpose in mind ( to get to know the other person and determine if he is aligned with God’s will for your life). Dating should be done so tastefully and responsibly that the relationship points directly back to Christ. He should be the focal point, not you or your date.

     Now, I shall get into what is necessary before one is ready to enter a relationship, and these don’t just apply in the dating realm.

1. Know who you are in Christ.

        If you don’t have your security in who Christ is, and who you are through Him (a cherished, forgiven, and beloved daughter) then you won’t be able to have security in any worldly relationship.

    

2. Admit your flaws and make a conscientious decision to change them.

        Admitting your flaws is one of the hardest things to do, because we as humans are prideful beings. However, when you admit that you need to change, you’ll begin to notice God intervening and opening your heart up to His perfect plan.

    

3. Realize that guys aren’t perfect.

        Just like you have your flaws all guys are sin-filled beings too. And even though love might blind you towards him imperfections, they are there. And it is really unfair to have unrealistic expectations for him to live up to (or really for anyone in any relationship).

    

4. God’s timing is best.

        Don’t try to take matters into your own hands. I promise that whatever God has planned for you, it will be well worth the wait (no matter how slow and tedious it seems at the time)! God knows when you’re ready for a relationship, and even if you are ready, your man might not be. Trust in His timing.

     So, the “when” of dating is not something that has a cookie-cutter answer, but it is personal between you and God. Know who you are, but more importantly Whose you are. Admit that you might not be emotionally ready for a commitment and begin to work on changing your flaws. Realize that it is unfair to set expectations that no human could ever live up to. And wait; wait for who God has for you, and wait for when He determines you’re ready to take the next step. I’ve come to realize that for me there is no “dating game”, just the waiting game. And I honestly couldn’t be more content.

Reviews

[Jeremy Hiles]

Great piece here! Even as a guy, I can't count how many times I have been asked questions like "DO you have a girlfriend?" or "When are you going to start dating?" I made it though all my teen years and never had a girlfriend, never dated. It is most definitely a waiting game, and now, here I am at 20, and in the past few weeks I have been shown so many things by God that have really been life-changing.

Those 4 points you included are great, I think they not only apply to girls, but also to guys. I am at a point in my life where I need to make sure to keep these points in mind.

Again, you have done an amazing job with this! I know I felt encouraged after reading it, and I am sure that there are and will be many others who are as well!

[StayAnchored]

I'm glad that it applies to you too! And I feel you- it is always annoying when people ask if you're dating and stuff... it is none of their business. (Probably doesn't help that I am a private person) lol

Thanks for reading it! I always appreciate your reviews. :)

[Jeremy Hiles]

Thanks! Yeah, it surely is! Haha well yeah, that doesn't help much lol.

You're welcome! :)