001: Sandcastles at the Diner

001: Sandcastles at the Diner

A Chapter by SDMcCarty
"

A girl's first day without him. She walks to a diner, and stops at a park on the way. Will she be able to forget him? (Love Story)

"

The sun filtered in through the lace curtains.  It was barely the beginning of April, but already it was warm outside.  The plants had begun to grow and the cherry trees were in full blossom.  A sweet breeze drifted in through the slightly opened window.  During the few weeks of spring, it was nice to have the windows open, especially in the early morning to allow the fresh scent of the season to penetrate the room.  Doing this left the room smelling clean – something greatly missed during the cold months of winter when it was too frigid to open the windows for long.
Stretching her arms above her head, she forgot for a moment about the night before.  On a morning like this, all that was sad and disparaging in the world should be left to the recess of the mind one cannot access.  She took a hearty whiff of the air as it filtered into the room and let out a huge sigh.  Sitting up, she looked around.  The memories of the previous night hit her as she saw his picture on her desk.  She felt her heart constricting in her chest – this pain was not something that a nice spring breeze could fix.  Her eyes filled with tears.  Decidedly, she got out of bed and walked to her closet.  Picking out an outfit had been one of her favorite things to do in the morning.  She would always wonder if she’d see him that day, and what he’d like to see her in if she did.  Now, picking her clothes harder to do.  If she saw him she wanted to look amazing, but she didn’t want to see him and spending time on her clothes might jinx it so she did, but if she didn’t spend time on it at all, then she wouldn’t look her best which guaranteed she’d see him.  Sighing once again, she picked out a casual outfit that hopefully wouldn’t show she was trying, but one that didn’t look like she wasn’t.  ‘When we were dating it wasn’t this hard,’ she thought as she put on a pair of slightly worn jeans.  Pulling on her loose shirt, she looked around her room.  Mementoes of him were all about – she’d have to take care of that later.  For right now, she wanted some breakfast and a distraction.  She grabbed her large canvas purse, her keys and cell phone.  Even knowing it was over, she wanted him to call her.  She wanted to hear his voice tell her it was a joke – that he hadn’t cheated on her, that he didn’t love another woman, that he wanted her back.  Shaking her head at the impossibility of it, she opened the door to her small apartment and locked the door behind her.
The sun warmed her as she walked towards the city center.  Passing a park, she saw two small children playing in the sandbox.  They were making a sand castle.  Words weren’t shared between them, but somehow each knew what the other wanted – a shovel, or an extra tower, somehow they knew what was needed.  She continued to watch the children wordlessly crafting their perfect castle until it seemed they had finished.  Both children stood up and surveyed their work.  They smiled, and looked into each other’s eyes.  Their magic wordless communication continued for what seemed like hours.  Suddenly, they both looked at their masterpiece.  They frowned.  She gave a start as they destroyed their work.  Once all the evidence of the castle was gone, they turned away from each other and walked in separate directions.
The girl stayed there and looked at the sandbox for a while longer.  Eventually her stomach growled, reminding her of what she had left home to do.  Slowly, and with a slight pang of regret, she turned away from the park and started off towards the city center again.  In a daze, she entered a dinner and sat at the bar.  When the waitress came to her, she came back to herself long enough to order but quickly fell back into her daze.  Her coffee came.  Reaching for the sugar, she grabbed the hands of another.  Startling herself out of the daze, she mumbled an apology and withdrew her hand.
“It’s no problem,” a silky voice said.  Looking up, her heart skipped a beat.



© 2009 SDMcCarty


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Featured Review

Come on you can't end it like that... Don't you hate it when writer's leave you out to dry.
Good Imagery - Great symbolism near the end with the kids in the sandcastle. I like that little insert.
Some of your writing in the first couple of paragraphs could be cleaned a little bit. There is a passive sentence and here it is:
On a morning like this, all that was sad and disparaging in the world should be left to the recess of the mind one cannot access.
Make it your own but leave out the "Should be Left". That's the passive part of the sentence.

Great Job..

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I liked this.... Comparing her failed romance to the children building sand castles. This is what we do. Build something and then tear it down. It's nice to have a full story in just one page.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Come on you can't end it like that... Don't you hate it when writer's leave you out to dry.
Good Imagery - Great symbolism near the end with the kids in the sandcastle. I like that little insert.
Some of your writing in the first couple of paragraphs could be cleaned a little bit. There is a passive sentence and here it is:
On a morning like this, all that was sad and disparaging in the world should be left to the recess of the mind one cannot access.
Make it your own but leave out the "Should be Left". That's the passive part of the sentence.

Great Job..

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 30, 2009
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Author

SDMcCarty
SDMcCarty

Sendai-shi, Japan



About
I started writing more seriously just a little while ago (about a month or so), so I am not terribly good yet. However, I do enjoy writing, so I'll continue to try! I enjoy fantasy works, and I also.. more..

Writing