010: The Fall

010: The Fall

A Chapter by SDMcCarty

A man falls in love unexpectedly. But, falling is the cause of his love and his pain...


It takes more courage to be a coward than a brave man.  Most people don’t actually believe that, but it’s true.  I should know; I’m what most would consider a brave man, yet I think I might be the most cowardly person I know.

It was summer.  It was hotter than usual, and going to the beach seemed like a good idea.  Looking back now, I’m not so sure.  At that time, I was confused " I know that now.  It didn’t seem so at the time.  Then again, it never does, does it?  At that time I thought I was having the time of my life.  I was banging hot chicks left and right.  There were sometimes when I felt that doing it that often was bad for your health, but what are you going to do, I’m pretty damn hot, too, and I couldn’t resist.  It felt so good.  And yet I think I knew deep down that there was something missing - something that I couldn’t pinpoint, but I knew that something was up.

It was at that part of my life when I went to that beach on that day.  Any other day and everything would be different.  He wouldn’t have been there.  He told me as much.  That was the only day he ever planned on being at the beach, ever.  He wasn’t the outdoors type, he said.  I don’t know what it was about him, but he attracted my attention.  He was small, wiry really.  Not particularly tall, with no real outstanding features.  Except his laugh.  I remember hearing it.  That was when it must have happened.  The time I fell in love.  He fell and laughed at himself.  He didn’t seem the sort to do that, but he did.  It takes a lot to do that sort of thing.  Before him, I couldn’t.  It was too embarrassing.  But he did it.  He laughed.  I fell.

I never expected it to happen.  I mean, me fall in love with a guy?  The idea was preposterous before I met him.  Then I did.  It was a weird feeling, one that I had never felt before.  I thought that I was going to die…and, truth be told, I wasn’t sure I minded.  More unexpected was how my family and friends took it after he and I started dating.  Before then I had thought that I was brave.  I’d never backed down from a fight no matter the odds, but the way that they looked at me, the way that they stopped talking to me hurt worse than any punch I’d ever received.

Most people thought he’d be the one to break under the pressure.  He was the weak one.  He’d only ever run in a fight, and could hardly do more than 10 push-ups.  At first I thought he was kind of pathetic " cute, but pathetic.  Don’t get me wrong, from the beginning it was love, but I thought he was physically weak is all.  Turned out that he was the strong one.  I had thought of breaking it off with him more than once because of their behavior.  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do when they were around, and the best thing in my whole life when he was around.

It’s been a few years now.  He was always beside me.  He always cheered me up.  He made each day worth living.  Those were the happiest years of my life.  I do believe that he was the love of my life.  I truly love him.  When the accident happened, I thought that I’d die as well.  I wasn’t so luckily.  Now, I’ve come to terms with it as well as I can.  Remembering his laugh brightens my day.  I will never find another like him, but having one love is enough.  I will live with his memory warming my heart forever.

© 2010 SDMcCarty

Author's Note

This one was rather hard to write. Please let me know what you think honestly!!

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Added on April 14, 2010
Last Updated on April 14, 2010
Tags: Falling, Fall, Laugh, Gay, Man, Men, Pain, Bravery, Weak, Strong



Sendai-shi, Japan

I started writing more seriously just a little while ago (about a month or so), so I am not terribly good yet. However, I do enjoy writing, so I'll continue to try! I enjoy fantasy works, and I also.. more..