The End

She shifted in her seat trying to numb the searing pain in her calves,  silently wondering why she  went clubbing so often . Was she out because it was  an escape from her busy week or was it simply an attempt to save her self from becoming the uptight person she knew she was turning in to ?
But before she could over analyze that thought it was over taken by one of her regulars .  She closed her eyes in the attempt  to shut out that recurring thought that resonated in her mind.  but it only grew louder " your not good enough " it taunted  over and over again  . 

Her  self doubt was  definitely a disease that was plagued by symptoms like depression and lack of self confidence . But, what annoyed her the most was the fact that she had grown accustomed to this . She had learnt to live with the fact that these thoughts often crippled her . They effected her mind , body and soul . Ironically this inner drive that motivated her was also her kryptonite ,it drained all of her energy disallowing her from concentrating on the stepping  stones that led to her desires  .

Suddenly , the car jerked forward and she was snapped out of her thoughts, rejoining reality with something then something else followed by "gand me Lein" .Regardless of the fact that she prided herself to be an Hyderabadi  she never really got the hang of Hindi swearing nor did she follow it . She smirked at him and casually looked his way . He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other went hastily to the gear which  he changed with excessive amounts of force , courtesy of the driver who cut us off .

It was things like this that made her so attracted to him . She annoyed him , hated him, teased him , routinely mocked him , idolized him , cherished him and even after all of that some how loved him . She didn't know what it was but , Something about him  drew her to him.
He parked the car and slammed the door noisily  behind him still angry from before . She sighed at this and said " you know its just a stupid road thing , why the hell are you still mad ? " . He shot her a dirty look and said " it's not stupid that mother f****r ...just because he has a bigger car than me he thinks he can f**k with me . I can't wait till I get a car like that . Then I'll f**k him " . 
Climbing up the stairs to his apartment she rolls her eyes at him and says  " yeah that makes sense . Sounds totally possible ,have fun tracking that car down" . 
He follows closely behind her . Instead of retorting to her comment he slapped her a*s like it belonged to him and snaps back with " oh look at your being a smart a*s you can't even drive " . Not willing to back down either , she retorted with "talk to me in a month" she said  . Unlocking the door to his apartment,  he scoffed at her " yeah right I've been hearing  that for two years now "

He didn't know it but that comment really hurt her not that it wasn't true . But because it was yet another one of her failures . With this ,like waste in an over flowing drainage system those same thoughts were once again resonating within her and  started clogging her mind .

She sat on the bed lost in thought only to be stirred by her boyfriend running his hands through her hair   cupping her face in his hands . He planted a passionate kiss on her lips she nudged him  away , not in the mood .

He sensed something was wrong with her and sighed . He looked at his drama queen with a deadly stare and began to tickle her that sent her in to a fit of laughter .He fell on top of her exhausted from it all . He wrapped his arms around her And she basked in his warmth until those thoughts came flooding back in to her mind .

she played with his hair and could no longer distract her self , she couldn't avoid her subconscious any longer . So she asked him why he was so mean to her remembering how he insensitivity pointed out that she still couldn't drive  . He jokingly answered "I'm not trying to be mean that's the truth  . " I can't even drive , I can't do anything why do you love me ?" She said .  He stared at her  in disbelief astonished by how may times She could ask him such a question .
But instead of his usual vague answer he said to her " I wasn't insulting you I was simply trying to help you , I'm always this critical when it comes to my self and you're a part of me now so I'm not going to take it easy on you " She looked up at him shocked by his answer .
She accepted defeat and nuzzled up to him drifting in to a dreamless sleep induced by a sense of warmth , security  , accomplishment and better yet , hope .