The Price of Sin

A suicide poem

I wish I had jumped then...
So at least I would’ve-
If I had the courage
To raise a knife
And not a bottle
In the end I forget who I am
I guess that’s the price to pay
-For my sins

Author's Note

Depression and the longing of death. Looking back on suicide attempts, wishing I had that courage to finish it.

Reviews

[light and ashes]

This is very self deprecating and masochistic, but I'm glad that you can release these emotions too. It is way better than acting on them.

[LazerRays]

Masochism is one of my best qualities hahaha 😁😁😂 thanks for stopping by!

[light and ashes]

Lol you're welcome

[Dave Brown]

I like that you can release these emotions
keeping things bottled inside is no solution
I think everyone, at one time or other, thinks about suicide but more so the dreamer, who I consider being those more inclined toward the arts
I know of only one heart-broken friend that tried, came close, but couldn't quite pull it of.
Today he is a very happily married guy with a good life
In spite of the varying difficulties we all fact, life is good, so hang on to it because it is a one time only wonderful gift
J the B offers good advise

[LazerRays]

Thank you for your kind review, sir. It means a lot. We certainly can learn from our attempts

[NotUsinganymore]

Very interesting poem. It is hard to forgive others sometimes.

[LazerRays]

Even harder to forgive ourselves. Thank you for your review

[NotUsinganymore]

You're welcome! please read one of my newest poems!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

before we can be forgiven by others, I think we have to forgive ourselves.
then maybe we won't need the knife or the bottle.
powerful write, Sarah.
j.

[LazerRays]

Thank you Jacob, perhaps I’ll find that way haha.

[John the Baptist]

A lot of darkness in this one. The poem implies alcohol abuse, the note, depression. The two often go together. The last two lines of the poem are disturbing. There is the suggestion that the situation is the price for sins. In my experience in working with depressed people, part of the disease is distorted thinking, wherein all of one's past mistakes are viewed as grave moral failings. This is most often not the case, but the illness makes it seem so. If you are having these feelings, please get help.

[LazerRays]

Yes, I do like my dark poems. I have learned to live with these thoughts all the time so I’m used to this kind of disturbing longing. This is the poem that goes with my profile picture actually, I do a lot of photography type stuff about self hate and depression (I do post some here on WC) and titled it “forgive me I have sinned”. Today I looked at it and decided to put it into a poem. Thanks for stopping by with the review :)