You There

You There

 

Crisp, sharp edges framed with shiny, metallic paint,

very well maintained,

firm upkeep,

clean,

and tight,

with little room for loose lines.

With the smallest,

gentle gesture,

humbled with wispy shyness and an oblivious girl’s kindness,

an entrance was naively opened.

So subtly unnoticed at first,

the universe shifted,

blooming outward into the unknown.

Soft worn fringes on the inside

that had seen the better days of time

slow burned,

morphing a lightly barren heart,

breaking through into the newness of beginnings.

 

“How do you know?” he asked.

“How do you know if it’s real?”

“How do you know if it’s love?”

 

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever known, myself”

 

Until now.

Until the universe drifted ever so slightly

when you opened the door to your world,

subconsciously inviting me in.

Then.

That is when I knew.

In an unforeseen instant,

as if everything before was blind and unknowing,

my life full of unexperienced fillers.

 

The “know” happened at the beginning.

This moment with you now,

when the universe deviated from its place a brief moment ago.

Author's Note

I wrote first, and it reminded me of this song.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlefHgF0kPA

Reviews

[Vertigo Cat1111]

A gorgeous poem about falling and noticing slight differences in the universe- I'm blown away and breath taken by this piece. It feels like you really took this piece from your heart and put it in excellently selected words. It feels so deep and warm of a poem, like a hug. Your words are never, ever disappointing, and if we're to get someone to start reading poetry, I would show them many of your work. Thank you for sharing!

[Seriana]

Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words. Love your reviews as much as I love sharing. You've always got the nicest things to say. So glad you enjoyed! I'll be by to return the favor

[willweb]

Completely out of control good. I could feel this, you have described "that" moment perfectly. The minute you realize, this is it. Beautifully done.

[Seriana]

Thank you so much for your AWESOME review!!! Happy New Year!!!

[Mk.t.g]

"With the smallest,
gentle gesture,
humbled with wispy shyness and an oblivious girl’s kindness,
an entrance was naively opened."
Wonderful lines with a brilliant touch of imagery, Seriana! Thanks for sharing!
Mk.t.g

[Seriana]

THANK you for your kind review! I appreciate you!

[Mk.t.g]

You're welcome, Seriana!

[barleygirl]

Your poem is a delicious description of how it can be when we've known a longtime friend in warm & affectionate ways, but still, this person has not let down their guard yet. Then one day, it happens. It's a subtle feeling, but we can see those little signs that cracks are opening up. Great way of conveying how this feels & seems (((HUGS)))

[Seriana]

Hey! Good to see your take on my piece even with my delayed response. I appreciate the word delicious. It's such a good way to put it, and combine that with the cracks? Kinda how life goes some times :)
Thank you and HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You never disappoint with your words. again you draw me into so many emtion. it s like a kaleidoscope in one poem.

[Seriana]

Thank you Dale! Hope you are well. Always a pleasure to see you stop by

[K writes]

Perfect write, love that last stanza a lot.
this is so wonderful

[Seriana]

Thank you so much Kaykey. So glad you enjoyed!

[K writes]

you're very talented

[Dave]

You bring back a very special memory. I was fortunate enough to give a very lovely girl her very first romantic kiss. We were both in high school and I, at the time, didn't recognize the significance of it.
Is it still true that "Youth is wasted on the young?"

Thank you and take care - Dave

[Seriana]

Thanks Dave! I love when you share your memories. They are often filled with nostalgia and sweetness. Perhaps the saying is true...or perhaps, we at this more mature stage of life, recognize the moment now, and STILL act like the youthful ones. Glad you liked this.
Stay safe

[Dave]

Thank you - As I've said before, It's so easy to remember fond memories.
Take care - Dave

[Unspoken poet]

humbled with wispy shyness and an oblivious girl’s kindness,
an entrance was naively opened.
So subtly unnoticed at first,

Love the beauty and powerfulness of these words, the urge for a longing.
This is writen very well. You write very well, enjoy your style

[Seriana]

Thank you, UP! Love your reviews. Always joyful to see you stop by.
So glad you liked this!

[emmajoy]

' So subtly unnoticed at first, - the universe shifted, - blooming outward into the unknown. - Soft worn fringes on the inside - that had seen the better days of time - slow burned, - morphing a lightly barren heart, - breaking through into the newness of beginnings. '

If ever there was a creation of love, show me! How beautiful your words.. and how they drawn back the curtains to the rest of your poem. Truly superb words describing what needs be eternal. Take care of yourself, keep safe. Please

[Seriana]

Thank you Em. So humbled by your review. I does NEED to be eternal, yes.
Staying safe here...hope you are the same!

[Chris Shaw]

These lines to me come across as an awakenening. The moment you know that, something special has happened. The earth has shifted and you have fallen deeply in love. Very nicely done dear Seriana. Took my breath away and sent me down memory lane.

Chris

[Seriana]

Thank you Chris! Yes, Awakening was almost the title, as that is how it felt to me. I hope one day this will be at the beginning of my memory lane. Thank you for your kind review :)
Amber

[Seriana]

Thank you so much Chris! So hoping it's the beginning of my own memory lane. Appreciate your kind words :D
Amber

[Chris Shaw]

Always a pleasure reading you Amber. Take care :)