Kory's death

Kira's twin sister avenges her sisters death. Kory, their older brother, is the one who killed Kara's best and only friend.

     I watch around the corner, waiting. He will never know what got him, he will never know why he died. I have it all planned out, it will look like a really bad accident. Better yet, just watch and see.
     As I wait for him to round the corner, which may take a while, I go back to the past, thinking about why he deserves this.
     They didn't deserve what he gave them. He killed them out of his own pleasure, I know, for I saw it all in my twin's eyes. Kira and Kara were our names. Kira was my best friend, my sister, and my identical twin, with matching green eyes, inlaid above high cheek bones, and jet black, straight hair down to our waists. Our waists were small, and we were delicate looking, but we were strong, especially together, when our mental connection was strongest. See, we could mind-speak with each other we were so identical.
     Kory, our older brother, was much stronger, and also liked taking advantage of us. We were his toys, then one day, he took it too far. A year ago today, he decided Kira was too nosy for him. I watched the light play across his face and his light blue eyes, as once again he took her as the woman she was becoming. We were 13 when he did it for the first time, but this time, she was 16. He took her, his pitch black hair falling into his eyes, and I stayed with her mentally the whole time, then all of a sudden we screamed in agony.
    She looked down and saw he a a knife sticking into her stomach, where the baby he created just got murdered. Our eyes went red in rage. She started hitting him, then he stabbed her again. Her eyes watered, and she calmed down immediately. She got away from him, and started trying to run, making slow movements, and since I was so closely connected to her at the time, I couldn't move either.
    We could hear him following us, and that strengthened our fear. We tried moving faster, but discovered the pain in our stomach was slowly immobilizing us. Our movements slowed drastically and suddenly, as his footsteps move closer. Kira turned her head, and looked into the face of death, right before he kissed her, then shoved Kira's 4-fingered doll down her throat, cutting off her air passage. But no, that sick b*****d wouldn't allow something so gentle to be what killed her, he stabbed her in her wrists, and ankles, attempting to bleed her. Then, before she died, he did the unimaginable. He tore off her hands and feet, with his bare hands.

     I continue waiting when I hear footsteps grow closer. My lungs fail to work, so my breath is held. I can hear by the pattern of the footsteps it is my dear older brother, walking towards his death. He turns the corner, bumping into me.
     "Sor-" he started, then saw who he was speaking with. A creepy smile lit up his face, for after he killed Kira, he started playing his game with me. His cocky grin, which usually unnerves me, makes me angry today, and excited, ruled by anticipation. He pulls me into an unwanted hug, which I don't bother to squirm in, knowing it only excites him.

Reviews

[Twilight]

In this story, the initial violence seems to trigger a spiral of further attacks and mayhem. Although my interest was mostly held whilst reading, I don't think that this is particularly well written. There is almost no background information about either the protagonists, or what brings about their situation. There could also have been more descriptions, regarding what the characters visualise and think - rather than such an emphasis on the action and colloquial language. Despite the flaws, this story does have an atmosphere of tension and a good pace.

[AreWeBothCrazy]

nice and well written :)

[watch_the_world]

Very dark but very awesome nice job xD

[Felipe]

well this is dark, the writting is very good though, very easy to understand, good work

[Courtland Sky]

it was really sad, but hopeful. i like it a lot.!