WOMAN IN TRANSITION

Hail fell on her and so did sleet,

Men trampled her under their feet.

The wind would blow dust in her eyes,

And lightning fell down from the skies.

Life’s heavy rain had made her wet,

And who she loved had made her fret.

 

Then from those ashes she would rise,

Mature in years and much more wise,

She is a mother, daughter, wife,

She runs this cycle, we call life.

The strength that she has in her soul,

Has helped her move towards her goal.

 

No man can face what she can bear,

The strength she has, we’re unaware.

How can she fall and yet can rise?

Her inner strength, few can surmise.

Her outer beauty, man will seek,

But what’s inside, makes her unique.

Author's Note

A friend here here did not agree with one of the messages my poem conveyed and she followed it up with an article that was very distressing. What life teaches us is how we accept situations and writings. It was distressing because a father who is supposed to be the shelter and castle that protects his daughter was the one who had violated her.
I dedicate this poem to that sweet friend of mine.

Reviews

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

This is a very deep poem with excellent rhyming as always. The flow is smooth and the message conveyed is strong. It is quite common to see that girls and women are exploited and not given equal rights and treatment as that to boys and men. Gender equality is a necessity. Having said that, I would particularly stress on "equality". It shouldn't be like women are given advantages over men, merely to counter the old tradition of patriarchy. No, both should have equal rights and status. This a nice poem. Keep writing.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Vatsal. I am glad that you have understood the essence of this poem and all that I am trying to convey

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"WOMAN IN TRANSITION"
Shabeeh Haider,
This poem brings an honest tribute to the cast aside, the forgotten, the disavowed and mistreated. Precious are the roles played in the life of women and here is a story which is heartbreaking in its meaning but uplifting at the same time. For it does not give up. Life is an opportunity to fight for good, for strength and for the helpless who then learn and whom become the helpers. This poem was really great.
Kathy

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your kind words

[Lydia Shutter]

Being betrayed by someone you trust....physically abused...is the worst betrayal of all. Indeed, we can not know the strength inside a woman. As a woman, I have witnessed things that I thought I could never get through....get past....and yet I have. We do many thankless tasks throughout life, but we have an inner strength that keeps us going. Your poem recognizes this...and is quite a tribute to your friend. Lydi**

[Shabeeh Haider]

I am glad you have given your feed back here. Women have it more tough and their struggle should be appreciated. Thank you for your words.

[zunie frost]

wow !! I'm proud to have a friend like you who respects women !!!
a mind blowing piece my friend. fantastic work
i must say you deserve full ratings %%%%%%%%

[Shabeeh Haider]

Zunie, thank you for such wonderful words

[Ananya]

I don't want to be strong
All the time....
I want to be weak
And break down

I want to cry aloud
And flood the world with my tears

I want to sob on a shoulder
And fall asleep

I want to be weak at times
And know there's someone stronger there
Ready to gather up every bit of me
Ready to glue me up back whole

I don't wish to remain strong
Not all the time

I am tired

[Shabeeh Haider]

What you have gone through in a short time has not been faced by many through out their lives.
Things are bound to get better

[William Liston]

This poem has a strong message, and your perfect rhyme scheme and meter make this poem even better. Great job. I love how you structured the ideas in this poem. The first stanza uses striking imagery and entrancing descriptions to describe the agony of a woman's life. I love how the mental image changes with each line; it is like each new line strikes you right at the heart, a very powerful effect indeed. In the second stanza, the poem takes on a more hopeful, optimistic tone that describes the woman's joy after her hardship. The third stanza speaks for itself. I loved the last two lines; they summed up this poem perfectly. Great work, Shabeeh.

-William Liston

[Shabeeh Haider]

William, I am glad you enjoyed this poem. I like the way that you have elaborated on this poem.
read moreWilliam, I am glad you enjoyed this poem. I like the way that you have elaborated on this poem.
Thank you for this wonderful review.

[-]

Love this poem. Life is the biggest teacher there is. I love this story of triumph and the strength that came from that experience. it is those hard experiences that makes us stronger and unique if we flip the script and turn it into a positive. I experience something similar ( I read your notes), so this poem hit my soul. Thank for sharing a wonder piece. Loved the "what's inside , makes her unique". N

[Shabeeh Haider]

N, I am glad this poem touched your soul. Thank you reviewing

[Happy hours]

Very nice rhyming scheme...and a strong poem indeed...

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your very kind words

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This is an amazing tribute to your friend. It is a true story of strength and survival. The tone is very reverent and respectful, and shows how much you listened and care. There is so much unseen pain in the world...there are many that never tell their tales.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your kind words. You are so right, There is a lot of unseen pain, some people just bottle it up inside them.

[Riti Rajput]

amazingly written... I really liked reading this poem... The message that want to convey is excellent...
If a woman is quite, that doesn't mean she is weak... I actually loved your poem... Thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece... :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Riti, thank you for your very kind words.

[Flower]

I really enjoyed the likening of weather to physical pain in your first paragraph and perhaps next time you could keep up the theme throughout and tie in some double-meanings here and there. The essence of this poem is very beautiful albeit in a deeply sorrowful way. Although I felt saddened by your friend's horrific abuse, I was pleased to read your inclusion of her strength as a person and more specifically a female survivor. Keep it up x

[Shabeeh Haider]

Golnaz, I use nature quite a lot in my poetry. I will try to stick to such a theme in my other poems.
Thank you for your meaningful review.