SILENCE

Outside the room there was a loud and deafening storm.... Inside the room a storm was brewing…..but in silence.

The lightning and its clatter

 The raindrops and their chatter

The sound as the clouds rumble

 The noise as the winds grumble

 

 Locked gazes getting bold

 So many tales unfold

 All thoughts unsaid are heard

 No need for any word

 

 Steam rising from the tea

 As you sit facing me

So much is said in sips

No need for words from lips

Reviews

[AliciaB]

COOL! This is an awesome poem. First of all, you have executed the rhyme scheme very well - every rhyme sounds like it fits into the poem, with nothing forced and no disruptions of the rhythm of the lines. The "aabb" scheme also gives the whole piece a fast-paced, heart-pounding tone, adding to the intensity portrayed by the words themselves. I really like the reflection of the emotions within the room by the storm outside. My favorite lines are "So much is said in sips / No need for words from lips." The entire poem is vividly descriptive - I feel as if I am right there in the scene. You have done an excellent job of capturing these emotions in a short yet emotionally-charged piece. Great work!

[Shabeeh Haider]

I do try to fit every rhyme in such a way that it does not look as if it has been forced. Alicia, thank you for this detailed and beautiful review.

[AliciaB]

You are most welcome! Thank you!

[Celeste Lucy Zaveri]

Awesome, I say! Please read some of my writings, like “Angeline’s Goddess School” and “Glazebrook.” And I really love your writing – I should subscribe to you next time I get the chance!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Celeste. I am elated by your words. I will definitely read your writings soon.

[Celeste Lucy Zaveri]

Yes, God's and goddesses bless you. But it is President Dame Zaveri I must be called.

[gabrielle]

Silence makes our mind wander in different directions.

[Shabeeh Haider]

So true Gabrielle. Thank you for reading.

[Raylene]

Love this! Love the rhythm in it I personally learned how to do poetry through rhyme so I am always a bit partial to those my dear however great piece

[Carolynn]

I love the moments spent in spoken silence - such a wonderful image you created here with the storm outside which could be how it feels with the world outside - people who cause trouble for the two perhaps - nicely written :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Yes Carolyn, quite often these external forces are a hindrance to love but we should still pursue it. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. (:

[Cobblestone Traveler]

I love this. Excellent job setting the scene and utilizing the rhymes effortlessly. I enjoyed reading this!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Cobblestone, I am glad you enjoyed it and thank you for taking the trouble to read it.

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I can feel the tension in this poem when they sit facing each other. N

[-]

Love this poem. It a beautiful thing when you can tell what each other are thinking by just looking at each other. Love how you used the word " tales" it added a special touch to the poem. Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem. N.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you N. for taking the time to read and enjoy my work.

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Your welcome. It is my pleasure reading your work. Laters, N.

[Ms Skull]

This is an awesome piece that I could relate to. :)

the way it is being portrayed is not too pressurized, not too sad, it is just right.

[Shabeeh Haider]

I am glad you could relate to this. Thank you for stopping by

[barleygirl]

This is one of my favorites of yours that I've read so far. I love this! I love the way you've contrasted the noise of the storm with the quiet seething between two people. I love the specific sensory details used to pump up the imagery thru-out. The rhymes are clever, yet not distracting from the message. Very original sounding, as well. Thanks for sharing.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Barleygirl, I am glad you enjoyed reading it. Thank you for your kind words.

[Bear]

Standing Ovation! Great rhyme scheme and the philosophical wisdom of your poem has a good impact that lingers in the mind of all who read it. Five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your very generous words. A big bear hug to you